new here

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2003
new here
3
Fri, 07-04-2003 - 2:50pm
Very happy i stumbled upon this board. Love Ivillage! Well i am obviously new here. So let me tell you about me. I am 25 years old, single and teach preschool. My deal is that i have always been lacking self-esteem. I don't know why since my family and friends have been the best supporters ever!

Anyways, I have found that this esteem issue has inhibited me from doing so much. Work, relationships etc. I have a constant feeling of guilt and that i will never be successful or deserve it. I feel bad for saying things or doing things that aren't bad at all. For example last night i went out with some friends and had a great time. Yes i had a little too much to drink but had fun. today i feel guilty for no apparent reason. My friend was tipsy too and doesn't feel guilty. I didn't do anything but I will have this feeling for a day or two and then it goes away. This isn't normal. I don't know what i expect from this discussion but it was great for me to vent. Does any of this sound familiar? I have toyed with the idea of going to see someone about it but i don't know if it will help. Thank-you in advance for any input
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-1999
In reply to: kc624
Fri, 07-04-2003 - 8:03pm
Hi KC and Welcome,

I do know how you feel. For some reason I've felt that I don't deserve happiness for a long time. I just recently bought a condo to try and gain independence and feel good about myself but I'm still not quite there. That may sound silly, buy a condo to feel good about myself but I've also felt that weirdness you feel. It's like, for years I felt that only the beautiful people deserve love, happiness and success. I know that is rediculous but I think I grew up feeling this way partly because I never saw the 'average' looking person as successful on TV or in magazines.

Your feeling guilty about getting tipsy and having fun is probably a lot different from my hang-ups but it is similar. We both feel weird about stuff that doesn't bother other people. Why? I don't know.

I think it would be helpful for you to see a therapist. I've been seeing one for a little over a year now. It has definitely helped me but I still have a way to go till I'm feeling content and happy. A year ago I would never have envisioned myself buying a condo. It was/is definitely a confidence problem and still is, as I'm still worried about the future bills I will receive.

come back here and visit, we want to help you out. The ladies here (we're mostly ladies) are great! They support each other and sympathize. We all have problems some very similar, so what I'm trying to say is - we all have things in common with each other.

Happy 4th!

Ben

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2003
In reply to: kc624
Fri, 07-04-2003 - 8:20pm
Hi , I 'm kind of new to this board ( yesterday was my first ) but I guess I can say that you are welcomed …

Linda

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2003
In reply to: kc624
Fri, 07-04-2003 - 8:42pm
Thank you for making me feel welcome. It is comforting to know that i am not the only one who feels this way. As good as that sounds!