Feeling stupid lately

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Feeling stupid lately
Mon, 07-07-2003 - 9:58am
Hi Everyone,

(Hi Froggy...hope you are doing better). Last week I was really bummed out. My sister & I have never been clos,e but when I wasn't invited to my family's 4th of July, how does one not feel bad about oneself? It's just me, my sister & her family & my Dad left. I believe that your self-esteem is based on family & what you grow up with. At 37, this was a big blow to me. Not only did that happen, but one of my friends who I was supposed to get out of town with flaked on me.

I have been in therapy on & off for years& I am basically done with it with the last one telling me I should "sit with my feelings. If I did that, I'd be suicidal right now. I am sick of working on myself & tired of all the self-help books including Dr. Phil.

I also have been feeling pretty stupid lately. I just have realized I am not that smart. I mean do you ever go through that? I feel like I just can't comprehend things.

I have been stressed out with the buying & sellling of my home. I don't feel at times I have a great support system & have a hard time trusting people.

Anyway, I just needed to vent. My self-esteem has taken a beating. There are times when I realize I will be single for a long time. Who wants to be with someone who doesn't feel good about themself?


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-1999
Mon, 07-07-2003 - 10:13am
Wow, that's tough that your family had a get-together and you were left out. I went to a cousin's house for a BBQ over the weekend and just now I realized a little that family gatherings for me tend to be a bit depressing too. I think I compare myself to othr family members too much and that is a downer. One cousin married a great guy and they just got back from France with their two kids. I guess there's a part of me that wants to know where my great guy is hiding but since I'm not exactly looking he's certainly not going to fall into my lap. I should have been crowing about my new condo but instead I didn't talk about it too much. Why? I should be proud but instead a part of me feels like a loser, like I had to buy my place by myself, not with a husband. That should be a plus but somehow I see it as a minus. I really need to change my way of thinking.

You mentioned your therapist said you should 'sit with your feelings'. What does that mean? I would look at that person and say, 'what, are you giving up on me?'

I too at times tell myself that I am stupid. I know I'm not, but some days I feel that way. Again, I need to change my way of thinking about myself.

I so look forward to this bulletin board. I don't know what I would do without you ladies. It really helps to know I'm not alone in feelign this way and that others struggle with these same thoughts and feelings. We need to stick together and work out our problems.

Hang in there ladies,



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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 07-07-2003 - 2:19pm
Hi Fun, I saw your post down below from last week, so I knew you were around :) Welcome back!

Geez, I don't blame you one bit for feeling bad about the non-invitation for the 4th. Did they invite other people over though? Sometimes I know that I may only invite one certain friend over (or family member) because I want some alone time with them. So - maybe that was the case here?

Hey - one thing I want to say to you. You are strong, and you are always out there, trying to tackle the things that bring you down... you go girl! You haven't given up - and that's such a beautiful thing. And as far as therapy goes, I always urge people to try other therapists. I finally found a good one after a lot of searching. If you don't feel that they are helping you - heck, try someone else. Just a suggestion.

Take care & hugs, Julie