I need to become proactive, not reactive
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|Tue, 07-08-2003 - 10:54am|
I'm going through a difficult time with my boyfriend, and one of the things that he's brought up repeatedly through our relationship, is that I don't have the self confidence to stand up for myself. I'm reading a book my mom gave me 3 years ago (when I WAS a teen) called 7 Habits of Highly effective Teens. I'm realizing that I am a reactive person, but I don't do anything about it. I react to a situation and I'm quick to blame others, but I refuse to challenge status quo.
When we talked about it last night, the first thing I did was point to my mother, and he interrupted me and said, "you can't blame everything on your mom." And he's right, I need to stop doing that. I need some help in gaining the confidence to blame myself, and then instead of just blaming, fixing. The instances he points out are my reluctance to confront my roommates about the temperature our heat was set at, when our gas and electric bill was sky high, or how when I was at the airport a few weeks ago, I found a hair in my burger, and instead of complaining, I paid for it and took off, because I felt so sick.
I know the first step is realizing that you need to change it, but I don't know where to go from there, and I am just wondering if there are other people out there who have gone through this or are going through this and can relate or offer wisdom and advice.
Oh and I know it sounds like I'm trying to change for my boyfriend, but I'm not. I'm doing this for myself, because I know that for me to go anywhere in life, I need self confidence and pride, which will only come if I learn how to become proactive.