Long...I'm deperate for help!!! Please!!

Avatar for jessicasue
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2003
Long...I'm deperate for help!!! Please!!
Wed, 07-16-2003 - 8:50am
This is my first time posting here. It may all just be my depression, but I’m feeling very very low. I’m starting to question my intelligence BIG TIME here. I’m 21(soon to be 22) and a senior in college, Wittenberg University to be exact. The first two years I did horrible and I attribute that to me not being happy with what I was doing (Management), My Junior year I declared a Psychology major, a little late but I can still graduate on time. My GPA before I started this major was 2.5 due to my depression and all. I’ve brought it up to 2.7 because last semester I received straight A’s with 3.8 GPA for the semester. I thought this was an accomplishment, but I’m starting to think now that anyone can get straight A’s if they try hard enough. My first two years are starting to haunt me as well. All of my profs love me (not sure why) Dr. Jo has even told me that I’m one of the smartest students she’s had in a while, but I’m starting to believe the only reason she said that was to make me feel better. My profs keep asking me if I want to do an honors thesis but they keep forgetting my GPA is way too low to do that. Dr. Jo says that I might not be able to go for my PhD because I probably won’t be able to get into a program with the GPA that I have now. That’s all fine and good because I could go for my masters get certified and then go on and get my PhD. She also told me that I should go for my PsyD, but the way she talked they are somewhat inferior I guess they have a lot of trouble publishing papers. Plus I’m having trouble finding out what exactly in the field of psychology I want. The day before last I called for an internship mentioning the name of dr. Jo, but I don’t think the receptionist put that part. He called back last night and told me to send him a Vita and I was like “A what” a vita. I had no clue what it was and I felt absolutely stupid. He told me it was like a Resume so I made one last night. I’m afraid my low self-esteem in the intelligence area is going to hurt my school work like it did my first two years. I think I’m absolutely stupid, naïve, and just plain unintelligent. That’s all I can think of and I can’t concentrate on my independent study. Why am I so Stupid. I want to be able to help people, but how can I help them if I’m stupid? I want to be big and contribute to the psychology world, I want to be known as being smart and brilliant, but I can’t because I’m Stupid. I know I won’t give up, but I will hit bottom if it doesn’t stop soon. I just don’t want to feel like this anymore. Thanks for listening to me. I know it’s not the most upbeat thing. Any advice will be appreciated. Thanks, Jessica
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 07-16-2003 - 11:18am
Jessica - you are not stupid. Far from it! Do you REALLY think that these professors would lie to your face about your intelligence? It sounds like they think you have major potential. Do you see them lining everyone up & telling them the same things?

Honestly - teachers are not going to lie to you like this. They care about your future.

You need to believe them.... seriously, what do they have to gain by telling you these "lies"? Nothing ;) So - they must be telling you the truth!

You just need to believe in yourself too. Keep up your good work.

hugs, Julie


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-1999
Wed, 07-16-2003 - 1:26pm
Hi Jessica and welcome,

I'm sure you are not stupid. You need to stop telling yourself you are stupid. I used to do a similar thing and some days I still do. We have to break this type of self-brainwashing. When you hear yourself saying, 'I'm stupid' stop yourself and say, 'no, I'm not, I'm smart' and gradually work up to being a genius. :)

Okay, so maybe the first two years of college for you were not the best, that should not determine the rest of your life. I went to college about 10 years ago. I finally graduated maybe 4 years ago and I can only guess at my GPA now because I was never that concerned with it and besides, it's been a few years since I last received my grades in the mail (LOL). I'll guess mine was a B+/A, what is that? 3.5? 3.6? I took a few psychology courses and I sucked at them. I didn't have the right smarts for psychology. You didn't have the knack for management those first two years but now you've clicked with psychology. Don't knock yourself down. Now you know what you want to major in and where you can excel. Run with it. I can even see where you might want to intensify your study - self-esteem and depression. You even have personal experience with both subjects. I bet you can write great papers on both topics after doing research. Heck, just keep visiting here and we'll give you plenty of case studies.

I don't understand how GPA's work and what allows you to study for one degree or another so forgive me for not knowing what a PSyD but it's not the end of the world if you don't qualify for something. Many other people have been told they 'can't do something' but that didn't stop them from following a dream. Investigate what options you do have. Your professors would not steer you in the wrong direction. If they see you have potential then they mean it. It's not like the get a commission on students that sign up for more courses.

Check in here and add to all of our postings. We can always use a psychology major to help us out. Think of this bulletin board as an intership.

Hang in there, you can do it.



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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Wed, 07-16-2003 - 9:21pm
boy don't I know how you feel!

I too, had terrible grades my first two years. I failed precalc 1 (75% of the class did too) and after failing precalc 2 and getting a D in bio,(lots of people did-the prof was horrible), c+, C, B+ for the fall semester of my sophomore year, I was given an academic warning. I felt so stupid and depressed and I stopped believing in myself and caved in to the prediction that I would not be able to do well in college.

My RA told me to work for myself and believe in myself. Junior year, I managed to avoid lecture hall classes in the fall and I finally realized that my grades were poor b/c I was in lecture halls. I am visually impaired and it's impossible for me to see what's written on chalkboards. Well after realizing the solution, I kept all my classes in small rooms and wound up with a gpa of 3.0. I even made the Dean's List both spring junior and senior years.

I feel so stupid for not realizing the problem sooner or speaking up sooner...however I did try contacting our Disability coordinator my first year(no luck) and her successor didn't realize that's it's possible to see with contacts but not 20/20. Plus what I have doesn't constitute a disability.

I applied to law school this year and had no luck...my index was low due to my gpa and i feel it's unfair that my gpa has to be compared with other students' when I clearly am at a disadvantage.

I worked very hard partially b/c I had to in order to keep up the first two years and earned respect from our Deans and my classmates. Everyone thought that I had really high grades which made me feel sad but also good b/c they thought I was intelligent. From them I realized that I did have alot of potential and I believe the same holds true for you. You are not stupid, I didn't know what a CV (vitae) was either until someone told me. One of the most empowering things in life is to choose to believe in yourself. Everyone thought that I would not be able to do well in school or go to college just b/c my vision is far from normal and I can't receive accomodations/assistance. I did it on my own mostly b/c I pushed myself since I was driven and moreover had a single attitude: you don't see the way I see, how can you tell me what I can't do? You are not stupid unless you think you are. You are what you think you are. Repeat each day that you're smart. Most importantly, keep in mind that intelligence is not measured by grades alone. You will succeed in the psychology world as long as you keep at it. keep in touch-benita

Avatar for jessicasue
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2003
Thu, 07-17-2003 - 7:52am
Thank you all so very much. I'm feeling much better than I was. I realize that I can't take back my first two years, that just means that I will need to work harder to get where I want to be. Everytime I hear myself call myself stupid I'm sure to stop and say that I'm not, that I'm smart. I am going to try to come back here often and share my experiences and maybe share some advice from a psychology student. Next semester is going to be packed full of stuff I tend to over load a lot. Thank you so much, Jessica
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 07-17-2003 - 9:02am
I'm glad you are feeling better... please be sure to come back & tell us how you are doing okay? Or anytime - just to hang out w/us :)


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Thu, 07-17-2003 - 9:55am
good to hear you're feeling better. You're right that you can't take back those two years...try to see it as a learning experience and find a way to turn that into a positive experience. For example, I learned how I actually "see" from my experience and now I'm interested in working in the legal field to change laws and raise awareness about this issue.

remember: you are the creator of your destiny, the architect of your life.-benita
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 07-19-2003 - 3:25am
Hi Jessica.

I think I can help you with some of the psychology stuff. I'm going for a graduate degree in psychology. You said that you are interested in studying social relationships. The first thing to ask is do you want to do research on social relationships or do you want to directly work with people to help them to improve their relations? If you are mainly interested in doing research in social relationships then you might want to consider getting a graduate degree in Social Psycholgy. In this field the only degree offered is a PhD because you are doing research and publishing papers. A PhD degree is oriented towards doing research. If you are interested in working directly with people to help them to improve their relationships then you might wnt to consider getting a graduate degree in either Clinical or Counseling Psychology. These degrees are oriented of working directly with clients to help them to reslove their social and emotional problems. With both of these degrees you have the opposion of getting a PysD or PhD. The difference between these 2 degrees based on what you are interested in doing. If in addition to working with clients you also want to do research about the effectiveness of different ways of treating clients then you need to have a PhD. It you plan to do research and publish papers then you have to have a PhD. If your main interest is in treating clents and you are not intersted in doing research, then you have the oppotion of getting either a PhD or PsyD. The main determination of which degree you get, even if you are not interested in doing research,is the degrees that are offered by the shcools that you are applying to. Some school don't give you the oppotion of getting a PsD and even if you never plan to do research once you finish with school, you have get a PhD and do a research based dissertation. So I hope Ive answered some of your questions about degrees in psychology.

About vitaes, most people don't know how to write them without getting guidance in the format and content that is involved. Usually one of your professors can give you guidance in how to write one. I had to write one when I was applying for my psychology internship and our psycholgy department gave us guidelines about how to write one. For the record a vitiae is like a resume, but it includes more detailed information. You would have to check with your professors about what info needs to be included.

Don't worry so much about your low grade point adverage. Most schools look at your last 2 years of college when they receive your college transcrit. The other thing that is important is how you do on you GRE (Gaduate Record Exam) when you are applying to graduate school. The first time I took the test I got a low score because, although I had done well in math when I was in high school, I didn't take any math classes in college so I had forgotten most of the things that I learned about math in high school by the time that I took the GRE. Fortunately the program that I applied to when I got my first masters degree looked more at your work and life experience than they did at you GRE scores. When I applied to schools for my degree in psycology I knew that my GRE scores were more important so I took a GRE preparation course and retook the GRE to bring up my math scores so that my combined score was higher. Another test that you have to take to apply for graduate programs in psychology is the PGRE (Psycology Graduate Record Exam). This exam tests your overal knowledge of psychology. Your professors can give you guidance in how to prepare for this exam. It sounds like your professors feel that you a high level of proficiency in psychology so you should have no difficulty in preparing for and taking this exam.

I think that your plan of first getting a masters degree in psychology is a good one. Most schools look favorably on students who have a masters degree in psychology when they are applying for a PhD program. Also having a masters degree would mean that your first 2 years of college would not be important. The programs would only look at your grduate school trascipt as the one that was important. That and your GRE and PGRE scores.

I have to tell you that when I applied to psychology programs I was at a real diadvantage because I didn't have a background in psychology. I prepared for the PGRE by reading an overview of different areas of psychology. Another thing about seeming to be at a disadvantage is that I wasn't accepted at my first choice programs. The ironic thing is that I was accepted in a program that was at a school that was more prestiguos than any of the other schools. Funny how things work out. Sometimes what you want doesn't workout, but you wind up with something that is even better. Another funny thing is that when I applied for graduate programs is that I also applied for a scholarship the was given to grauate students in psychology. When I didn't hear anything about the scholarship I called the organization and asked why I heard from them. They said that since I had a graduate degree in an unrelated field (although I though it was very related in terms of my degree and work experience) that they had not processed my scholarship appilication. I told them that I had been accepted in a program at a school which was a really prestigious school and was that good enough for them. They said oh we're sorry that they hadn't processed my application. Even when I was in the psychology program my advisor expected my not to do as well as other students who had masters degrees in pyschology. He was surprised when I told him that I got an A+ on my paper for neuropsychology and that my professor had said that I wrote a really fine paper. So don't let ANYONE tell you that you're stupid and don't ignore the positive feedback that you get. If you focus on the positive than you see a ture reflection of your own gifts and abilities.

It sounds like you are in a really strong position for applying to graduate programs. Your professors are giving you highly positive feedback (they wouldn't say it if they didn't mean it. Professors do NOT do things for their students just to make them feel good) and they feel that you are well prepared for applying for graduate programs. They would also be willing to write you good letters of reccomendation when you apply to graduate programs Graduate programs also strongly consider your letters of reccomendation. Especially if your recommendations are written by professors who have published papers that they are familiar with. Another thing that you might want to do is volunteer to work on any research project that your professors might be doing. Graduate programs also look favorably if you vitae list that you have worked on any research project. They don't have to know that you might have participated only for a few weeks.

So I hope that this has given you some anwers to your questions. Let me know if there is any more info that I might be able to help you with. Again you sound like you are in a really good position for applying to programs and in making a contribution to the field of psychology. Either in the area of treatment or as a researcher or both.

Good luck and let me know how you're doing.