super bummed today

Avatar for raspberry_snow
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2003
super bummed today
4
Mon, 07-21-2003 - 2:00pm
Hello...

This could be pretty long, but I just gotta vent. OY!!!! Ok, hubby and I have lived together now for 7 years, married 6 years this past april. Anyway, we are always broke. Hubby always either doesn't have a job (grrr) or has a low paying job. I always have low paying jobs too. The past year and a half hubby has been doing better at having a job, they are just low paying still. We owe on old utility bills and phone bills and a few family memebers out the wazoo. Currently we are living with my father in law (oh the joy!) We had to move in because hubby got layed off of a job and we couldn't pay the rent. We never have enough money to pay on our debt or even just save or to go the doc if we get sick. DH's teeth are crumbling and breaking and hurt him every day, but we can't afford to go the dentist. None will take payments, and we can't afford the insurance our jobs offer. We don't blow all our money on junk either. We make $7 an hour each, but hubby is only getting around 30 hours a week give or take a few. I don't have any friends to talk to. I have a couple friends I made in Arkansas when I lived there, but they haven't written to me in over a month.

We both don't like our jobs, or any that we have hade really. I don't like dealing with the public that much. I suffer from anxiety and depression and we all know what that does to a person when you are around a bunch of people. No money to treat that either. We both get so bored with our jobs. We both have talked about going to school, so that we can get better jobs that we like. Hubby can't figure out what he wants to do though. I have several things I would like to do, but I see no way of paying for it. And I can't decide which of the ones would be best, or if there is something else that I haven't thought of I would like better. We also only have one car and I currently work only a block and a half from our house. I can't even try to get another job right now cause I have no way to get there.

So for the past seven years we have been broke, had crappy, low paying, boring jobs, gotten into debt, are lost as to what to do next or how to do it to get out of our rut. Hubby and I love each other very much, for better or worse. We are ready for the better. Ok, I'm done venting for a while. This is just making me bummed out today.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 07-21-2003 - 2:36pm
Hey I'm glad you vented it all out. I'll bet that sometimes it all gets to you.... and I don't blame you for getting frustrated. It seems likes it's impossible for us "regular people" to ever get ahead, you know?

I wonder if there are any programs near you that can help with dental insurance or anything else. I know there are assistance programs for people who don't make a certain amount of money. And - as far as depression/anxiety - Check w/your local health department - they should have something for you that is free or almost free. I know you didn't ask for advice or anything - so I apologize if I am butting in here. But I've been in that spot at one time.

Geeeez - ya know, where are all of our freakin' taxes going?? People out there, like you - working their butts off, paying taxes - yet they can't get dental or other forms of medical attention? It's RIDICULOUS & really ticks me off. I guess that was my vent to add onto your vent.

You're a strong woman & I admire that (hugs)

Julie

 

Avatar for raspberry_snow
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2003
Mon, 07-21-2003 - 2:47pm
Thanks :)

You aren't butting in :) I always aprreciate any advice I get, whether I ask for it or not *wink*

and I agree about the taxes!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
Fri, 07-25-2003 - 3:42pm
Hold on...I may be giving what seems like some bad, bad advice, but hear me out.

First of all, have you gone to see a social worker at your Family Services Division? With the depression and anxiety you live with, have you thought about getting some disability through Social Security Division? (This will take several tries and expect approximately a year to complete.) You can even get disability on a temporary basis while re-training or educating yourself. Have you thought about contacting your Vocational Rehabilitation Division (State agency)to re-train you and hubby? They are excellent counselors and know other agencies. They also can help you find a job and how to apply. If you want to work with them you will need to have a doctor verify your anxiety and depression (disability). Hubby can also apply for partial unemployment if he is not getting the number of hours he was hired for.

Thoughts:

The advantage of stopping work: Go into a welfare mode, you will be qualified for a lot of services out there. Most are temporary...but it sounds like that's all you need anyway. Hubby could get his teeth fixed, you could get some counseling for the depression and anxiety and possibly medicaid for your meds, if necessary.

You both could also qualify for Pell Grant (federal) for schooling. They cover not just college, but also many training schools. There is an online site for more information.

Believe me, being broke is not all bad.

No one asks for money.

There is only one way to go.....up.

You can't get credit, so you can't get further in debt.

I don't mean to sound flipant, it's just that hitting rock bottom is what saved us. So many people don't use their resources out there and they paid for them through their taxes. The problem is, you have to be "rich" or you have to be "poverty" to get anywhere. It seems that in this country, middle ground is hard to get to and even more difficult to maintain.

With each others love and support, take a chance.....you have nothing to loose by it now and that can be freeing.

One of my favorite quotes: "If you want to G.E.T. you have to A.S.K." So get going out there and start a.s.king.

Hugs and blessings.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2003
Fri, 07-25-2003 - 4:20pm
I don't know how people can make ends meet sometimes. Both working and still not enough. I know that it is not where you want to me, living with his father but at least you have a roof over your head until you & DH can figure things out.

In my town, there is a company that gives money for donating plasma. They pay depending on your weight, so your husband will get more than you. They pay $35 for the first time you go then $30 for each consecutive time. You can go two times a week so you could each make appx $60/wk X 2 people X 4 wks =$480/mo. That's a place to start.

It's true that there are resources that many folks are unaware of. Family services IS the best place to get advice on this. They will even give you a discount on child care. The average cost is $3.00/hr but through family svc it is half that.

This situation will not go away fast. You need a goal to shoot for then work towards and realize it will take a while to get there but ask for help, God know you need help right know. When I was 13, I lived in a field and ate Kentuky Fried Chicken's garbage; took showers at the truck stop then went to high school. It was very difficult to focus when you are hungry and alone. I dropped out becuase I had to work three jobs to make ends meet. Women are more fortunate than men becuase I could make great tips coctail waitressing at night. It was not the greatest job but it DID pay the bills.

I am proof that this struggle really WILL end. Hugs, hugs. Go get some help.

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