lisa (hot tamale) - how are you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
lisa (hot tamale) - how are you?
Mon, 07-21-2003 - 2:28pm
Please check in & let us know how you are doing!

Hugs, Julie


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 07-21-2003 - 6:07pm
I am doing ok..... I have my ups and downs. Yesterday, I was so angry at him for setting me up to look like an idiot (which was an up, I was happy with myself and angry at him), and today, I'm so sad because Wednesday is the birthday of the girl he broke up with me for, and today would have been 10 months for us, which would have marked my longest relationship. :(

I gave the pills to my roommate with instructions to only give them to me if I have a panic attack. I have not had one, and I haven't had any more thoughts of hurting myself. I was talked to by so many of my friends (one I turned to anyway, my ex had called and asked her to check on me, as well as another mutual friend), and I realized that I have to keep my drinking under control.

I've been struggling somewhat, but I know that it's for the best, and if he's going to treat me like this now, after dating me for almost a year and "loving" me for over six months, then it's not meant to be. I acted so foolish, and i'm humiliated by my behavior, but I also realize that he didn't have to put me in the situation, and the fact that he did says a lot about him. It wasn't fair of him, especially since he knew I'd probably take it as a date, and I did. But oh well, what's done is done.

I really appreciate all the notes below, and I am going to take this time to really get to know myself. Sounds funny, I guess, but I don't really even know that much about myself. I know so much about him, and about my cat, but when it comes to me, I don't really know what type of person I am.

Thanks for all the support, and I will talk to you all soon, I hope, I have to go meet up with a friend, since I'm off work.