Here's one for you

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
Here's one for you
3
Thu, 07-24-2003 - 11:34pm
My question is this.....Why do men think it is alright to push someone elses husband into dancing with some single woman? Why do men make up rumors about someone elses husband and a co-worker being a couple, just because the husband is in a higher supervisory position on the job. And why does the woman not say..."hey this other guy is my boyfriend"? But instead has the attitude these guys are idiots and she doesn't have to explain herself to them??

I realize that co-workers can be stupid and even vicious at times. I also realize that an innocent individual should not have to explain themselves. But do these people not realize they are hurting an even more innocent individual....the wife and family of their target????

I trust my husband and I know he loves me as much as I love him, but I sure do wish I could go there and knock the "you know what" out of these people.

My former husband (2 actually) was not monogomous (did I spell that right??). Anyway, these kinds of stories just stir up old feelings in me and I start to make myself confused. It also makes me feel like I must be some old piece of &%#@ and my husband should be looking elsewhere. He has been assuring and patient and understands my history and why I am reacting this way....but I don't think he really understands how I feel and how much this hurts. I finally told him I don't want to talk about the people where he works, which doesn't seem fair to him. I know he needs to vent too.

Any suggestions on coping with this? I sure could use some fresh thoughts. Thanks for listening.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-1999
Fri, 07-25-2003 - 9:05am
The only thing I can think of is these people lead very boring lives and this is their only excitement. It can also be a case of jealosy, maybe they want to hurt his career and move into his job. Some people also have no common sense, I think a number of men fall into this category. Don't get me wrong, many women also have no common sense.

I'm sorry this has happened to you and your husband. Can you possibly make a game out of it? 'How outrageous a rumor will it be this week?' I know it won't help with the hurt you are feeling but maybe you can try to laugh it off just a little.

It's tricky, if your husband tries to sqauash the rumors someone else might say, 'oooh, it must be true' but someone else might not. If he doesn't try to squash the rumors the same thing could happen.

Try to stay strong and just know that your husband has done nothing wrong. Eventually the rumors should go away.

Hugs,

Ben

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2003
Fri, 07-25-2003 - 4:48pm
I agree with Ben, jealousy. I think too that it is aform of entertainment. Think about how *interesting* this sort of thing may be to a person who should get a life. Ya' know what I mean? Busy Bodies...
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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
Fri, 07-25-2003 - 9:40pm
Thanks Ben and netlady for your kind replies. I'm sure you are right. Fortunately the big instigator is no longer at my husband's plant so a lot of problems, not just mine, have ceased to exist.

Thanks again for your replies. I certainly do appreciate them.