Re: Overcoming Your Fears

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Re: Overcoming Your Fears
Tue, 07-29-2003 - 10:32am
Good morning,

I've never posted on here before but I've read the board a lot and everyone here seems very friendly and helpful so I'm hoping you can offer me some advice. It's not exactly a self-esteem issue, although that's something I stuggle with too. This has more to do with fears, which I know there have been posts about before. If this is not the right place to post I hope you'll still offer your advice as I feel in a weird way familiar with many of you that post regularly. I hope that doesn't sound psycho.

Okay, I have flown once since 9/11, to D.C. I used to love travelling and flying and airports, I don't anymore. I finally scheduled a trip up north to see my grandparents even though I'm already very nervous about flying. This morning I see that the gov't is now saying there are credible threats of more plane attacks later this summer, which is when I'm flying. Needless to say, I DON'T WANT TO FLY NOW.

I'm feeling awful b/c I feel like a big chicken. I'm afraid my grandparents, not to mention others in my family, will think I'm rediculous for cancelling but I just can't imagine getting on a plane now without being completely sick and overcome with panic. I've been feeling sick all morning since I heard it. I know we can't live in fear but I'm not sure I can do this.

Am I alone in this? Do any of you fly a lot? How do you deal with this? Have any of you backed out of something like this? Any advice? I REALLY don't know if I can do it now. It's a long trip so I can't really drive and trains are a bit difficult to work out too.



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Tue, 07-29-2003 - 12:30pm
it's natural to be afraid...I myself was surprised when I read about the warning this morning. However, ask yourself when was the last time these warnings were accurate and how strong are the odds that the attack would be your plane. the vagueness of the time doesn't mean it will happen to you.

good luck
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-1999
Tue, 07-29-2003 - 12:41pm
Hi and welcome,

I'm sorry you are so nevous about flying. I don't fly on a regular basis but I have flown since 9/11. My friend and I had scheduled a trip to Canada 2-3 weeks after 9/11. Of course we had this planned weeks before the attack so we had to decide if we were still going to take our vacation. We did take it but we didn't fly, we took Amtrak. All that week we were still a little hesitant as no one knew if there would be more attacks. Luckily there were no more but it was still in my mind.

I just returned from NC and I flew. I think I've flown maybe 2-3 times before last week. It can be a nerve-wracking experience but at some point we just have to push these thoughts out of our minds. Would you consider taking the train? It might help you overcome the fear just a little. Traveling out of your usual city can be a start.

How about taking some baby steps. Can you go visit the airport where you will fly out of? Just try walking through the airport. Sit for a while and read a magazine. Pretend you are getting on a flight. You will see there are new security measures in place. There are tons of people that fly every day. That might help you feel better.

New terrorist warnings are going to pop up from time to time. It's just a fact of life now. We can't stop living. That's one of the thing the terrorists hoped to do, cripple our economy and make our lives miserable. If we let that happen then the terrorists have won.

If you are desperate not to fly look into the train. It may take longer but it will help you get there. Maybe after a few train trips you will venture onto a plane.



<?xml:namespace prefix = v ns = "urn:schemas-microso

Avatar for loritemp
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 07-29-2003 - 1:46pm
I havea business trip planned for next week so when i saw that warning I got a bit nervous too! But I have friends who work in the airline industry and I am very confident that flying is safe! I flew a few weeks ago, first time since 9/11 and was impressed with the security. You have every right to be nervous but don't let it stop your trip! Even though there are warnings, I think another airplane incident is so highly unlikely! You never know what will happen to you you day to day, all you can do is be smart about the choices you make and don't take undue risks. I don't think going on this trip will be a risk! Hope you can relax, fly comfortably and enjoy your visit!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
Tue, 07-29-2003 - 5:29pm advice is going to be opposite...geez...oh

You are reacting normally to an abnormal situation. If you "DON'T WANT TO FLY NOW", then I say ....Don't.

I cannot imagine any loved one in your family thinking you're cowardly or anything else if there is an honest threat. I certainly would not want any of my loved ones on a flight if their life was in danger, no matter how bad I wanted to see them. That would be purely selfish of me and if I'm that selfish, then no one should care what I think!!

And Yes, I have backed out of plans before. All I need to say is "I don't feel comfortable with making the trip at that time.....let's reschedule". Don't leave it as being debateable. It's YOUR decision.

There is a point when we need to overcome our fears, but hey...there is a war going on...and there is a point when we need to be realistic, not naive, and remember we ARE vulnerable.

I would advise you to do what YOU are comfortable with. You can always visit in the Fall. I hear the Northeast is absolutely beautiful in the Fall.


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Wed, 07-30-2003 - 11:20am
Thanks everyone for your responses. They'll give me something to think about. I still don't know what I'm going to do. I'm not a brave person and the thought of this is making me miserable. Everytime I start to relax I find out more details about the warning and I feel worse. I really just want to cancel but I know my family will be disappointed.

Maybe I can see them when they are in Florida for Christmas instead. I don't know.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2003
Fri, 08-01-2003 - 10:13pm
I fly on a regular basis. In fact I was scheduled to fly from Washington D.C. to San Francisco on September 11, 2001. I ended up taking the train (Amtrak) home. Much slower and more expensive. But it was the only alternative at the time. The Terror Alerts are really a tool by the government used to defect attention away from real, substantial issues. If you notice there is a correlation between announcement of “terror” and a decline in the “approval ratings” of Mr. Bush. In other words, take the terror alerts with a very large grain of salt. I continue to fly and I am still alive. Flying is still less expensive, statistically safer, and mush faster than either boats, trains, or (auto).

Good luck