How to cope..

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2003
How to cope..
Tue, 07-29-2003 - 6:12pm
Hi, im new to the board. My name is jennifer.

For the last 3-4 years things have been on a horrible downward spiral. After the death of my very close grandfather and an even closer great grandmother I had to quit college to move home to help support my grieving mother and grandmother. I began working full time which made me feel great. Met a guy who turns out today was a complete mistake (long whole other story behind that). I tried to start attending classes again after my fairly well off dad decide to help pay tuition. Well after a long drawn out arguement between him and his now ex wife (my mother) he cut me off. Leaving me to having to quit once again. So by this point, i lost my grandfather, grandmother, father fiance (long story)all in the matter of a year and half. Financially things have been falling apart and i cant seem to keep my head above water. I started recently dating a man about 4 months ago and things were going great. Then by total mistake I found myself pregnant with his baby. Whether anyone supports or disagrees with my decision i had no choice (medically) to terminate the pregnancy. Which emotionally has been very hard on me. Because if it werent for medical reasons I would have carried the baby. My boyfriend and I were doing great when just the other night he tells me he is not in love with me and ended things.

I dont know how to cope. just as soon as i think things are getting good, things get swept out from under me. im really start to lose my sanity here. and my self esteem has taken a real beating from everything. all day today ive been sitting here crying and getting angry and just think enough already... well i guess i ended up not asking anything. i am just feeling isolated and alone. and didnt know where to turn. thanks for reading this if you got this far. i just dont know what to do. i try and try and all i seem to get is heart ache.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-1999
In reply to: jnn3355
Wed, 07-30-2003 - 9:15am

Wow, you've really been through the mill this year. I'm so sorry about everything that has happened to you. Is there some sort of women's clinic or organization in town where you can seek out a therapist, hopefully for free? I think you need to speak with someone to sort out your feelings. There might be an organization to help you with job training and school funding too. Can you go back to your college and see a counselor there? They might provide one temporarily since you did attend the school for a while. Is there any chance another relative could act as an intermediary between you and your father? It would be nice it you could patch things up with him and, get even just a little bit of money to go back to school.

Please hang in there and seek out a therapist. It sounds like you have ambition to go on with your life so don't give up. Just visiting this bulletin board shows that you want to improve your life.

Come back and visit and let us know how you are doing.



<?xml:namespace prefix = v ns = "urn:schemas-microso

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: jnn3355
Wed, 07-30-2003 - 10:55am
Hello Jennifer & welcome.

WOW! You sure have had a LOT of things to deal with. I'm really sorry that so much has happened to you like this, all at once. They are things that happen to almost everyone throughout their lives - but not all within a year, usually.

I don't know if you've considered talking to someone about it all. It's easy to become seriously depressed with all of these negative life events, and you ARE human.

If you can't or don't want to talk to a professional, how about a trusted family member? Your Mom, maybe?

You are in the thick of so many things right now, and eventually, it has to start calming down. But for now, you could probably use some real help in dealing with it all. And the support of a family member, a good friend, or a professional can really help.

I hope that helped a little bit, please feel free to stay here with us okay??

Hugs, Julie