Does anybody hate being called quiet?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Does anybody hate being called quiet?
7
Thu, 07-31-2003 - 7:33am
I can't stand it when people introduce me as "the quiet one"! Shyness is something I've been trying to overcome since I was little and when people say how quiet I am it makes me so mad! Then the times that I do break out of my shell and do something crazy it's almost like I get "Aw isn't that cute, she can be fun when she tries" or else it's a big shock and my friends tell people I may have just met that I'm never like that and how I'm usually so reserved and then their friends look at me like I'm weird. Is anyone else like this?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 07-31-2003 - 9:26am
Just read a few posts down - the title is "I'm Quiet"..... :)

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-1999
Thu, 07-31-2003 - 10:30am
That would REALLY annoy me!

Can you maybe ask your friends not to introduce you as the 'quiet one' and just introduce by your name? I can't say my friends have ever introduced each other as 'Jan the wild one' or 'Kathy the annoying one.' Why would people introduce you as the quiet one? So what if you are quit, let that person judge for themself.

Why don't you take them aside one by one and ask them nicely not to label you. Tell them you want to establish a new identity and it's not by being quiet.

It's just a suggestion, hope it helps,

Ben

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Avatar for loritemp
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Thu, 07-31-2003 - 1:53pm
I am not really like that, I tend to be a bit shy when i dont know people but that is it! I do havea few friends whoa re shy and I hope I don't make them feel the same way, though I would never introduce them as "the quiet one". I do try to encourage them when they do want to do something outside of their confrot zone, maybe help them get past that shyness or any fears that prevent them from being more outgoing. Have you ever tlaked to your friends about this? I know sometimes others do things they think are helpful or don't realize they are being hurtful so it might help to talk to them about it! Good lcuk, hope you can get past your shyness and let everyone see the wonderful person you have been hiding from them!
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 08-02-2003 - 3:07am
Hi.

I'm also quiet and shy. And for years people I knew never expected me to be anything different so they were amazed when I acted in a way that showed a different side of myself. I think that you might find it helpful to read the more lengthly repy to I wrote to the next post titled 'I'm Quiet'. Just remember that quiet people actually take the time to be aware of what's happening around instead of talking so much they can't hear anything but themselves.

Renee

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-30-2001
Sat, 08-02-2003 - 10:10pm
Oh, I know!! Like being "quiet" is something weird or unusual. How are we suppose to be? I have always been shy too and it takes a lot of effort on my part to initiate conversation at a party or get-together. Once I know you I'm okay but my nature is not outgoing at all and I often feel awkward at get-togethers. Sometimes at work people will say..."oh, she's so quiet," or if I do something that is contrary to my quietness they'll say...."oh, you have to watch out for the quiet ones." There's another lady they refer to as quiet too. In a strange way, I'm glad I'm not the only one. What is it? Is it "normal" to be boisterous and extroverted? We're all different so I don't really see what the big deal is. I NEVER refer to someone as quiet nor does it strike me as unusual.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-1999
Mon, 08-04-2003 - 12:51pm
One last thought - the people that tend to be extroverted and boisterous, could it be they point out the quiet ones because they realize they are loud and annoying to most people so they want to appear normal? If they make the quiet ones to appear abnormal maybe they won't seem so abnormal.

Just my two cents.

Ben

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Mon, 08-04-2003 - 5:17pm
midwesternwoman, i have the SAME problem. All my life, ever since i was a little girl, i have always been the "quiet one". And i feel like i have been treated differently by people because of it--especially teachers. I do admit i am a shy person, and thats something that will stay with me for the rest of my life because it's who i am, but when i do something that people don't expect, they go crazy with shock. I am usually loud and social with people i know well, it takes time for me to trust someone. I absolutely HATE it when people are like, "is it OK if i say hi to you?" Gosh, just because im self concious and a little shy doesn't mean i can't talk, i jsut don't choose to hear myself talk all the time. I guess i tend to be a little antisocial and i have a hard time looking people in the eyes sometimes, and its something i am working on. I feel your pain midwesternwoman! If anyone wants to help me with that feel free!Thanks!