hi think i am new

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2003
hi think i am new
3
Sun, 08-03-2003 - 8:33pm
hi everyone

if u want me no abit about me well here goes:

i am a fat urgly losser

who wishes she was dead

i am the most losser

ever no freind and how

can u have freinds if u

dont like your self

the losser

catherine

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 08-04-2003 - 9:42am
Catherine, welcome to the board.

I'm glad you found us. I know that I have felt EXACTLY like you do. A lot of us have. I'm sorry that you're feeling that way, because I know how bad it is. It's no fun. It stinks.

I wish I knew more about what makes you feel the way you do. Maybe among all of us, we can try to help you out.

Please feel free to post & talk to us more, okay????

Hugs, Julie

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2003
Mon, 08-11-2003 - 7:51pm
hi

when i was 5y my father abused me until i

was about 25y. i am 40 now and i have just found

out that he will get away with on even a smack

on the hand, because i have a mentil health

problum, i feel so sad the i could do anythink

i am sobbing my little haert out, why should i

carry on if he cant get punished so i will be

punished

catherine

sorry

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
Mon, 08-11-2003 - 11:03pm
Catherine

I like your nickname. I used to refer to myself in the same manner....silentscreaming. There was a time in my life that I felt like I had no tears left, I had cried so much. It actually hurt to cry because I could no longer tear up, just dry.

In your first posting you referred to yourself as fat, ugly, etc. I wonder from what you said in your second posting, if those were your abusive father's words, not yours. You have a right to feel brokenhearted and you have a right to sob. You also have a right to a better life.

You are right when you say that your father will probably get away with just a slap on the wrist for what he has done, because you have a mental health problem. Our laws do not provide adequately for people with disabilities. Those need to be changed. But you can't be heard and help change things if you don't "carry on". Besides why should you have to "give up" when you did nothing wrong? He knows what he did and has to live with that through eternity.

I do not know what your "mental health problem" is, but I assume that you are working with a doctor. Perhaps you might want to talk with your doctor or therapist about what you have been writting here, how you feel and how to move past to a better life. It's time for your life to be full of what you want now, so get some help in learning how to do that.

You have a right to be angry just don't let it take over the rest of your life. You have already had too many years taken from you....it's time to take some back. I did, you can too.

Good luck Catherine.