Brief Intro

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2003
Brief Intro
1
Thu, 10-09-2003 - 11:26am
I have always had low opinions of myself and I want to feel better about myself. I want to feel as good about myself as other people seem to feel. I have always been able to blame other people for how I feel (for example, my mom cut off my long beautiful blond hair when I was 4, and sent me to kindergarten - the rest of my childhood, until puberty, I was mistaken for a little boy, or the fact that I am a size 13 and society places too strict ideals on women, or that my husband never compliments me or whatever). I don't understand what steps to take to pro-actively try to make myself feel better. Any suggestions?

Heather

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-1999
In reply to: hthrlu
Thu, 10-09-2003 - 3:20pm
Hi Heather and welcome,

I feel your pain. I too was made to wear my hair short when I was a little girl. I never really understood why. Maybe my parents thought it looked neater than long flowing locks. Maybe it was easier to take care of, I don't know, something like that. Needless to say when I was older and could voice my opinion more I wore my hair long whether it looked good or not. I just wanted longer hair. Looking back now, my hair looks nicer just about shoulder length but no longer. Oh, the things we do to rebel against our parents. :)

Getting back to you now. I think I need to know a little more about you. Until then the only thing I can tell you is it is difficult to change your way of thinking. Some of us who post on this board have been corresponding here for some time. Gaining self-esteem is an ongoing challenge. First off I we have to try and think more positive thoughts and not compare ourselves to the Cameron Diaz' of the world. I think most of us have grown up with negative thoughts about ourselves and our environments. As I said, this is not easy. Personally, I've felt negative about myself for at least 20 years. It's almost like brainwashing. Between getting bullied at school and my own thoughts I've brainwashed myself into bad self-esteem.

That being said, what are some good points about yourself, start there. Are you a hard worker? Conscientious? Good hearted. Volunteer in your community? A great friend, wife, mom? Try to list all of the positives about yourself and then we'll work on the outside issues like self-image. I don't think any of us on this board fall into the '5'7", blond/brunette with flowing hair, size 4 body, successful career, living happily ever after' society's dream image. We're all average people but all of us have good things about us.

Try writing that list and see if that makes you feel better. Come back here for a visit and we will try to cheer you up. We all need a boost to our self-esteem once in a while. All of the ladies here are great and cheering each other on.

Hugs,

Ben

<?xml:namespace prefix = v ns = "urn:schemas-microso