anxiety attack!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
anxiety attack!
2
Thu, 10-23-2003 - 5:53am
I have suffered depression, poor self esteem, you name it I got it! It sucks to live with it but I don't want a pill to keep me in check so I am dealing with it on my own. The other day I suffered an anxiety attack but you need to listen as to why I did...my BF and I moved into a new place and when I met my neighbor and saw how beautiful she was I nearly had a heart attack! I know its weird but it has to do with the fact that I have a goodlooking boyfriend and I am constantly worried that he will cheat on me or that someone will try and take him from me. Call me crazy but usually I try to just take my crazy thoughts and throw them out the window because I know deep down they only happen because of my chemical imbalance. She seemed nice but when she looked into my bf's eyes and said "lets exchange numbers" it pissed me off! Why didn't she ask me that? My heart was pounding and I started to worry! I feel like I only see negative things happening in my life.... I feel like no matter what the outcome of everything will be negative! Like I see my neighbor comming over to the house when I am not there and eventually my boyfriend leaves me for her. I know I have a problem I have identified practically every disorder I have. Another thing I know that leads to this is the fact that my father had an affair on his girlfriend with a married woman who happened to be his neighbor! I know I should let it go and I am working on that. For some reason though right away I felt threatened by her. Especially since when she was talking she was starring into my boyfriends eyes the whole time and barely even looked at me. Anyway, how should I deal with this? Should I befriend her? It seems like shes trying to befriend my boyfriend and not me and that is why I am worried. I am nice to her and stuff but I think I am being too paranoid! Does anyone have similar things like this happen to them?

thanks,

nicole

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: inicky21
Thu, 10-23-2003 - 10:57am

Hi Nicole, welcome to the board


I can understand your feelings about this neighbor & the situation.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-1999
In reply to: inicky21
Thu, 10-23-2003 - 1:42pm
Here, here, I totally agree.

If this girl feels the need to flirt with your guys it's her insecurities. Did you ever think you make her feel insecure and that's why she was flirting? It was rude of her to not make eye contact with you too. As Froggy said, don't waste your energy worrying about her. If you do want to make friends then go ahead but don't do it for the wrong reasons. I'm sure your boyfriend won't cheat on you and as she also commented, if he does then screw him. Let her have the cheating boyfriend, he wouldn't deserve you.

I think we've all had an anxiety attack in one form or another. When I get them I'm usually driving which is really scary. I find it helps if I listen to the radio and whistle to a song. It forces me to breath and takes my mind off of the attack. Can you try and tell yourself to do something similar? Take some deep breaths and try to relax. Talk yourself through it.

I believe everyone in the world is insecure about something. Maybe the only way she feels good is to flirt. Maybe you can use some reverse pshycology on yourself to deal with her. If you feel she's flirting another day tell yourself, 'ya see, she's so insecure with herself she has to flirt with another woman's man. She can't find one of her own. . .' Think of things like that.

I hope we've helped a little and that you are feeling better today.

Hugs,

Ben

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