I want to hide. (warning-long)

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2003
I want to hide. (warning-long)
4
Mon, 11-03-2003 - 2:19pm
Hi, It has been a while since I have posted. Seems like I had a handle on things. Here I go again though. I am feeling bad about myself. Not sure if it is real or hormonal.

Details. I spent Sat & Sun with in-laws. They are very polite and call me hon and all that but make digs at me from time to time. I just found out that my 5yo DD can do multiplication and division and after dinner on Sat., I told Grandparents and asked if I should talk to teacher to encourage child and put into gifted program or should I keep this new info to myslef. Firstly, I was shocked that they showed no excitement about learning that their little Grandaughter "might" be gifted but Grandma says, "Well if you want to bitch to the teacher, I suppose you should." Whoa, Nelley! Was I taken back. Where in the heck did that come from. Gees, what did I say. I am not allowed to talk about my life????

I get looks and derogatory comments when I limit sugar in the kid's diet or ask them to eat their veggies. OK, so I am passionate about being healthy. Geepers, hasn't anyone heard about the health concerns with today's youth?

The bottom line is that I feel like I am not allowed to be me. Don't talk about voluneering, or poor people. I am not allowed to say anything that might be construed as bragging even to Grandparents, I am not allowed to turn down ice cream or soda "your skinny go ahead". I am not skinney, I am an award winning female bodybuilder, I am strong. The fact is, these people don't even want to talk to me and we have holidays coming up. It's more than I can bare to feel like a misfit everywhere I go, I am an alien.

Who am I??? Passionate, Healthy, Bodybuilder, Small, Smart, Lonely, Deep, Caring, helpful, misfit, misfit, misfit. Down-to-earth. Living in a world of superficial people. I judge no-one, but I am judged everytime I leave the house. It makes me want to stay home and not talk to a soul. It is hard to leave the house and I am worried that I am aquiring a phobia. I don't know how to cope with people-at all.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-1999
Mon, 11-03-2003 - 5:54pm

I'm so sorry to hear that your in-laws don't respect your feelings and opinions.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2003
Tue, 11-04-2003 - 1:26pm
You're great Ben. You must be a terrific friend.

It's amazing how our childhood wounds always get in the way of our being able to cope with these kinds of problems. I learn so much about people and about myself.

I agree with you, my in-laws are weird in some ways. Spoke with DGrandma again late last night on phone and she still says nothing about DD learning ability. Is this so unremarkable that a child this age have this ability? I thought it worthy of a WOW or something.

It is unfortunate that there might be some jealousy with the eating issue. I am so imature, I struggle with responding intellegently when comments are made about my healthy eating habits. Who would imagine that eating healthy causes people to say mean things to me. You should be proud of yourself for controlling your cravings and accomplish the weight reduction. It is most definitely difficult. We learn these habits of eating poorly, in our youth and carry it forever. It is just habit though. I ate for comfort in my youth and in my young adulthood. It satisfied me. It was the only thing that did...Not anymore.

Anyway, I feel better having the support to stay strong in my passions and beliefs. Thank you! ~Sharon

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-1999
Tue, 11-04-2003 - 1:48pm

That's great, you should be strong and proud.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2003
Tue, 11-04-2003 - 2:21pm
Hi, yes they are overweight. The older they get the worse it gets. Mother in-law has ask me to help her over the last two years. I used to sell meal replacements and suppliments and she was one of my customers. I soon got so frustrated with all of my clients because they have the mentality that these suppliments are "magic". They need not do anything further to change their eating behaviors. So there she was eating a meal replacement and eating three tablespoons of peanut butter. She just consumed 600 calories, 45grams of fat in one sitting. Not on her way to losing the weight that her doctor talks about that is causing tremendous strain on her agin knees and hips. I feel bad for them. I can't change the world, I truely care about them and want her to see what she is doing to her self. She is easily 150lbs over weight.

Chubby can be healthy too IF the person can eat veggies and fruit too. A recent study showed a shocking fact that many over weight people are actually malnurished. Some would ask how this could be. They don't eat veggies and fruit and eat too much "processed foods". (over simplification)

I can't laugh though, remember my nature is passionate, caring and serious. If a smoker told me that their doctor said they should stop smoking and needed help, I would take it serious.

I need to keep telling myself that it is not my responsibility to help them and when they ask me to refer them to another resource. I wonder why this eating thing is such an offensive issue for people.

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