I want to hide. (warning-long)
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|Mon, 11-03-2003 - 2:19pm|
Details. I spent Sat & Sun with in-laws. They are very polite and call me hon and all that but make digs at me from time to time. I just found out that my 5yo DD can do multiplication and division and after dinner on Sat., I told Grandparents and asked if I should talk to teacher to encourage child and put into gifted program or should I keep this new info to myslef. Firstly, I was shocked that they showed no excitement about learning that their little Grandaughter "might" be gifted but Grandma says, "Well if you want to bitch to the teacher, I suppose you should." Whoa, Nelley! Was I taken back. Where in the heck did that come from. Gees, what did I say. I am not allowed to talk about my life????
I get looks and derogatory comments when I limit sugar in the kid's diet or ask them to eat their veggies. OK, so I am passionate about being healthy. Geepers, hasn't anyone heard about the health concerns with today's youth?
The bottom line is that I feel like I am not allowed to be me. Don't talk about voluneering, or poor people. I am not allowed to say anything that might be construed as bragging even to Grandparents, I am not allowed to turn down ice cream or soda "your skinny go ahead". I am not skinney, I am an award winning female bodybuilder, I am strong. The fact is, these people don't even want to talk to me and we have holidays coming up. It's more than I can bare to feel like a misfit everywhere I go, I am an alien.
Who am I??? Passionate, Healthy, Bodybuilder, Small, Smart, Lonely, Deep, Caring, helpful, misfit, misfit, misfit. Down-to-earth. Living in a world of superficial people. I judge no-one, but I am judged everytime I leave the house. It makes me want to stay home and not talk to a soul. It is hard to leave the house and I am worried that I am aquiring a phobia. I don't know how to cope with people-at all.