I'm so unhappy with where I'm at.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2003
I'm so unhappy with where I'm at.
Tue, 11-25-2003 - 9:19am
I'm very unhappy with where I'm at compared to where my friends are at. I grew up in a neighborhood with 7 other girls who I was close with. As of now, 5 are married (2 with children) one is divorced, and one was engaged but broke up with the guy. Granted the divorce and the breakup weren't good things, but yet they have been to that place that I can only dream of-really being loved by someone and sharing a life with someone. I can barely get a date and when I do, they don't stick around for more than a few weeks. I'm a good person who always does the right thing and have never been in trouble in my life. I work hard and get things done at work and am considered the fastest, most efficient person there. I'm shy, but not shy to the extreme. I'm fairly attractive-tall and thin. I don't need to have the latest gadgets (just got a VCR a few years ago) or the designer clothes and am a pretty simple person with a lot to give someone if they would give me half a chance. So why can't I find a guy who is interested in me?!?! One of the girls who I was talking about, who I grew up with, was my roommate in college for 3 years. She was always a little overweight, wore way too much makeup, lied about a lot of things, cheated on tests, was an education major and when she was student teaching (for kindergarten, no less!) I had to help her do her lesson plans because she couldn't think of what to do or when she did, she didn't know how to go about executing it. When we went out though, she would always giggle at everything which drove me nuts. She'd bat her eyes at a guy and boom, she'd have him hooked. The thing is, she always got the good looking, buff guys and when they would come and pick her up for the first time they'd bring her flowers or gifts. I've never gotten a flower and I was with a guy for a year! Material things don't mean a lot to me, but the fact that these guys thought enough of her after meeting her once to bring her something always made me mad. I just wanted a guy to think of me enough to do something like that. Now she's married to a guy who's parents won the lottery and when he's 35 he'll get a good sum of it. They live in a really nice house and I'm sure he gives her whatever she wants. She's always had stuff handed to her and she never deserved it. Her mom and dad would get her out of situations and do things for her. Do I need to lie about things and be someone I'm not to get a guy? It seems to work for everyone else. I'm 31 years old and it just makes me so sad that I've got so much to offer but no one will give me a chance.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Tue, 11-25-2003 - 9:53am

Hello and welcome to the board.

To be honest, while reading your post, I really see where you are coming from.


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-1999
Tue, 11-25-2003 - 10:35am


I think we all feel this way sometimes.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-09-2003
Wed, 11-26-2003 - 3:12pm
have you tried internet dating? i have some friends that have tried it and are having really good results. you get to know a little bit about the person on the inside before you meet them so that way the first date isn't quite so awkward. just be really careful if you decide to try it and don't give out any personal info until you are really sure about the person. and those girls that get the "buff" guys-it isn't that they are special-it is that the buff guys just want to get in their pants and they look like easy catches-LOL.