can't seem to do anything right.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
can't seem to do anything right.....
27
Fri, 10-24-2008 - 2:08am

I lost my job on 05/06/2008, a few days after

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2006
Fri, 10-24-2008 - 9:58am

you're not worthless or incompetent; you're just going through a rough patch. unemployment does suck (been there myself) but it more than likely wasn't your fault that you got laid off, right? and at least you don't have all that stressful paperwork to do anymore. sometimes losing your job can be a blessing in disguise; i know that your last job was better than nothing but it doesn't sound like you were too happy there, so now you can find something better. (because if you were still at your old job, you probably wouldn't leave, would you?) you're more than qualified to do anything you want, and the weak economy is not an excuse. after you've recovered from your surgery, go visit some temp agencies in your area; that way, you can work and maybe snag a full-time position (if not, then at least you'll meet new people who might have some good contacts).


also, get up off that couch! exercise is one of the biggest mood boosters. if you're not feeling particularly motivated, just go for a walk around the block. it really helps and it's free. i'll also bet that your acne is caused by stress (i always break out when i'm really stressed out). maybe even look into yogic breathing techniques to help you relax and focus.


there are also menopause (http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-bhmenopause), stress (http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-bhstress), and depression (http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-bhdepression) message boards (under "health") and a job-seeker's one on the main ivillage channel (http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-wdjobsupport), if you want to check those out. i'm glad you stopped by, and keep your chin up because it will get better!


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2008
Fri, 10-24-2008 - 10:24am

Hello, and Welcome to the Board!

I'm sorry to hear about the rough time you are going through, and how it is affecting you. Stressful events occuring in a row can be hard on anyone, and unemployment often is stressful on many levels. I agree with Jess (happy.pants) on several areas.

I am acne proned pretty much to the point I'm starting to doubt there will ever be a time that I am free from acne, for if it's not on my face it's somewhere else. :-/ My acne along with other things, will be come worse with the amount of stress I am under. I also find it harder to keep my mind clear, and for me to get movitated if I am too stressed. Sometimes I have to take a step back and start small with something and go from there. I also tend to make plans, however sticking to plans for me is hard I admit.

I found this article a couple days ago when I was researching things for my question of the week. You might find it interesting.

http://www.calolive.org/nutritionists/findings/findings_2004q4.html

Jess also gave you some really great board, I either lurk or post on several of those as well. Sometimes it's very nice to know you are not alone. If possible it might be helpful to you to find someone to talk to face to face. It might help with the depression, and help you sort out the other things of your lives. Seeing a person in real life, leaves a stronger emphesis that I am not alone in the world, compared to the interent. That said, this is a great place to talk either on this thread, or the others. I like to look at things from different views, and also remind myself there are alot of different situations going on out there that people are in. (Once again, the I am not alone factor). I also like to ask myself, what do I want to do? What do I like to do? And where do I want to go? To me, even when all the doors seem closed, I try to realize there are still windows out there.

So, what do you want, and what would you like?

~ RainCL for Self-Esteem Support

"One Step At A Time The World Will Be Traveled"

~ Rain   
       
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 10-27-2008 - 1:13am
Thank you for the great links you included in your reply, happy pants. I visited each of them. All of these things are very helpful. The main problem is the numbness, lack of caring, feelings of hopelessness that I'm experiencing. This is not the first time I've dealt w/similar issues. Other times there was always something that drew me "back to reality." This time, it's different I've lost my zest for living and my energy.....burned out on life:( Job security is a thing of the past and at 55 yrs. of age, I don't have it in me to continue to start over again and again and again. Everyone seems to have the answers but me. I've tried to figure things out. The harder I try the shorter the distance I go. I found a counselor who works on a sliding fee......there's so much to work on it seems futile. From my posts, I'm sure it sounds like I'm a
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Mon, 10-27-2008 - 1:23am

Thank you for your response, Rain. I checked out the link you included and agree that it's very interesting. Jess and you both made very good points. It would be fantastic if I could just "pick myself up and start all over again!"


iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2006
Mon, 10-27-2008 - 8:09am
you're welcome. it does sound like you're depressed. i didn't fully comprehend what you wrote in your first post; i just thought you were going through a rough patch, so i apologize if my advice was overwhelming (i know what it's like to have people tell you to do a thousand different things to make yourself feel better and not feel like doing any of them). maybe you could just 'hibernate' for a while, take things one day at a time or even by the hour, if a day is too much (i know that when i'm severely depressed i have barely enough energy to make it through each day). just make sure that you eat healthfully and, although you probably feel like sleeping 14 hours a day, stick to a regular sleep schedule. i'm glad that you found a counselor to talk to; rain is right that talking to someone face to face can really help your mood. i hope that you will keep posting here because i would like to know how you're doing, okay?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2008
Mon, 10-27-2008 - 8:11am

:-)

~ Rain   
       
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2008
Fri, 10-31-2008 - 3:48am
Sounds like we should be roommates. I've also hit somewhat of a rough patch in my life and am dealing with unemployment...well underemployment I guess. I have a degree that I'm not using, student loan payments that I can't afford for the degree that I'm not using, dating life sucks, career life is barely moving and guess what! I've been living with my mom for the last four months. Despite friends telling me that they think I'm one of the most beautiful, sweet, smart and funny creatures to ever walk the earth I still feel like an enormous loser and also struggle with feelings of total hopelessness. I've felt almost nothing but hopelessness for a while. I don't really have any advice to offer as if I knew the answer to getting rid of this feeling I wouldn't feel this way as well, but I thought you might be happy to know that you aren't the only one going through stuff. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one! I have at least learned in my short lifetime that most situations are temporary and perseverance is required to get us through those dark spots in our lives and that we are never truly alone in the world. Hang in there.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2008
Fri, 10-31-2008 - 9:20am

Rigby,


Welcome to the board. I'm glad you jumped in the thread. It's nice to know we are not alone in our struggles. Sometimes in finding others with the same problems we can then find strength to over come them together.

~ Rain   
       
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
Sat, 11-01-2008 - 10:18am

Here's a big cyber hug((((((dleed)))))))).

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-04-2008
Tue, 11-04-2008 - 8:26am

Don't be so hard on yourself
List 10 positive things about yourself (personality)
List 10 positive things you are good at doing (work related )
Act on those 20 things
Do not let anything negative get in your way
Surround yourself in the positive
Do good things for yourself like
Exercise
Listen to good music
Read a good book

I was really down yesterday I usually do not get down allot of the time ,but
I have had to do the above and will need to stick with the above to be successful.
I challenge you to do the same.
Give yourself a break
You have a degree , I don't have a degree
use what you have learned and polish it to be the best you can.
Make your surroundings positive for you
get a puppy, or something that makes you happy . go to the pet store and love on a pet who does not have anyone to give to ..
You are a powerful useful being, and there is some one or company that could use your expertise ...belive it .. act on it ...do it ... Have a Great Day !! and an even better one tomorrow .....
Babs

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