Feeling bad about sleep

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2006
Feeling bad about sleep
25
Fri, 10-31-2008 - 12:24am

I have been an insomniac since I was about 7. That, coupled with current schedule craziness, means that my sleep comes in bits and pieces throughout the day. Typical for me would be 3 a.m. to 7:30 a.m., 2 p.m. to 3 p.m., and 8 p.m. to 10 p.m.. Add that all up and it only comes to 7.5 hours of sleep. Hardly excessive! Yet I still feel like a piece of crap every time I sleep during the day. I need my sleep, I must have it, and yet it totally triggers a self-esteem low when I do sleep.

I have tried many times to "fix" my internal clock using various programs and methods, but I haven't found anything that works yet. I try to tell myself that I need my sleep, resting is healthy, and I have every right to take it when I can get it. It's just so hard to make myself believe it when I know so many people who go to bed late, get up at 5 a.m, and go all day! I have no idea how they survive!

Does anyone else have a similar issue? Any advice? I would love to have this not be a trigger for me!

Marissa

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2006
Fri, 10-31-2008 - 8:56am

there's an insomnia board that might be a good resource: http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-bhinsomnia


when you say that it triggers a self-esteem low, do you mean that you think you're a wimp or a loser for sleeping during the day?


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2008
Fri, 10-31-2008 - 9:23am

Marissa, I'd like to see the answer to Jess's question before I respond as well. And as one of those people who sometimes go to bed really late and wake up at 5 and 4 am, let me just say, it is sooo not a good idea - and I should not be doing it, but because I procrasintated too much, became to worried about something, or just decided sleep wasn't worth it - I did.

~ Rain   
       
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2006
Fri, 10-31-2008 - 10:35am
Yes, that is exactly what I mean! I feel that I am automatically lazy and non-productive, even if I get lots done during my waking hours. Honestly, I'm not really trying to alter my sleep schedule anymore, but it would be nice if I could feel a bit better about my "naps". It is so annoying to have overwhelming guilt about a normal physical need!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
Sat, 11-01-2008 - 9:54am

Insomnia is a physical disability.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2006
Sat, 11-01-2008 - 8:19pm

Thanks,
I really appreciate your perspective on this. Honestly, it helps so much to hear that there are other people who do their best at night. I think that eventually I will accept this part of my self more fully. I just have to reprogram from two decades of trying to fight my natural sleeping pattern, keep telling myself "this is functional for *you*, it doesn't make you a bad person." I'll get there if I keep trying. Once again, thanks,

Marissa

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2008
Sun, 11-02-2008 - 12:12am
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2008
Sun, 11-02-2008 - 8:09pm

I've had insomnia since I was a baby. I can't turn my thoughts off. What helps me are the following:

-Melatonin 3mg fast release AND 3mg timed-release.
-Relaxation sleep CD

The above helps. I've also used the new sleep drug Lunesta, which is great!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2008
Sun, 11-02-2008 - 9:08pm

Welcome to the board. Thank you for adding the helpful links to this thread. I saw you have joined in another thread as well. I hope you continue to post. We have a roll call, QsOTW, and some more random/fun threads as well. :-)

~ RainCL for Self-Esteem Support

"One Step At A Time The World Will Be Traveled"

~ Rain   
       
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2006
Sun, 11-02-2008 - 11:38pm

Just to be clear...I am not looking to change my schedule, I am just trying to mentally accept the schedule that works for me. I have tried everything...trust me! I have now adapted my schedule to accomodate my sleeping habits, so I really don't want to change things now.

Marissa

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2006
Mon, 11-03-2008 - 8:02am
what if you kept a sleep journal? you could write down when you slept, for how long and how you felt before and after. it sounds corny but it could help you

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