The SEA's Program Model of Self-Esteem

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
The SEA's Program Model of Self-Esteem
Thu, 11-13-2008 - 7:12pm

Found this site today and it has some good resources......

Cheers Diagonally

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2008
Fri, 11-14-2008 - 11:44am

I haven't had time to read through it completely, but you seem to find the most interesting things! How do you stumble across all of these?

~ Rain   
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
Sat, 11-15-2008 - 8:38am

Ya there's a lot of material there, some of it is very well done.

To be totally's really comes out of work I'm doing for myself. If I'm interested in, or working on something, I tend to want to learn all I can about it, so I useuly resarech it to death.

I started a few years back working to manage the stress of a career in engineering in the midst of the tech crash. As it goes sometimes you pick up a thread and start to follow it and it and it ends up taking you places you never quite imagined at the outset.

But tell me about you.....What's brought you here as Cl for self esteam? In Your profile you express a strong interest in self esteem. That's piqued my curiosity about how you have come to be here and choose to become Cl for Self-esteem support.

(if its not to personal a question)

BTW violin damn ....stringed instruments without frets that's got be be challenging.....:-o

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2008
Sat, 11-15-2008 - 10:25pm

lol, in all honesty the volin catches my eye just because of the motion a person makes while playing it. :-)

~ Rain   
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
Tue, 11-18-2008 - 8:58pm

"Though now, I wish to know more about you. What are you going for with the work you are doing for yourself? If you don't have an end vision, do you have a general direction?" its more difficult to answer that than you might think....if only because its a deeply personal journey but you seem very honest and genuine in your writing so I guess I can share.....

I hope you really want to know the answer because...

well now you've gone and got me started :-0

(Bet you thinking oh no, oh no, now I've gone and got him started!!!) <:-0

So for me maintaining a healthy self esteem has been a challenge. My journey is rooted in a dysfunctional, no, no point in putting lipstick on a pig, abusive, family of origin and this is a part of the larger journey of healing.

I'm at point where I have a fairly good cognitive view of myself so for me its now more around aligning my emotional response with the cognitive.

Ive done lots of reading as I've worked on this and as I find things that I think are very powerfull or incite full I try to share them with people I think would find them helpful.

It's deeply interesting work, exploring these topics because as you read you constantly find new threads of thought and connections and you never quite know where each path might lead you.

I love the quote :

"Around Here, Whatever, We don't look backwards for very long.
We keep moving forward, opening up new doors, and doing new things.
Because We're curious...
And curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.

Walt Disney"

So whats my end destination, well its as simple and as complex as finally healing old wounds.

Along the way if I can maybe help someone else out then I'll feel really good....

I do sometimes wonder as read the posts here who is asking for help or direction or answers and who is just needing a safe person to tell their story to..God knows we all sometimes just need someone safe to tell our story to...

I have to hand it to you Re the violin....I've always though of that as a monumental challenge some instruments its hard to sound bad on as a beginner...some are much less forgiving....Ive always viewed the violin as the latter. though I can certainly see the attraction to the process of playing it is very sensual kind movement...

Ok now its your turn agian ;-)

How about this just for fun:

Do you know your Myers-Briggs type?

I'm and INFP...though my T/F score was the same so I share a balance of NF and NT traits....

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2008
Wed, 11-19-2008 - 12:31am

I would love to do

~ Rain   
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
Wed, 11-19-2008 - 8:01pm

So your an IN?P or IN?J.....?

extroverted / introverted
sensing / intuitive
thinking / feeling
judging / perceiving

you know its funny....from your posts I had pegged you as an E?FP

I say something because I didn't have enough to get sense of whether you leaned more toward intuition or sensing.....

I did think from your posts and profile your were seriously Extroverted so that's interesting. Are you really introverted? I could have gone either way on the F/T because you defiantly come across as feeling but also seem attracted to technical scientific mathematical disciplines.....

I got a sense that you were more a perceiving rather than judging type.

The thing to keep in mind is that we all sit somewhere on a continuum for each of those scales.
In my case:
I'm a strong I
I'm a moderate N
I'm a balanced F/T
( I scored the same on each, and in that case you count yourself on the F side...)
I'm a strong P

I mostly fit the INTP personality type. Ive gotten the same score on different tests.

Because I score evenly for both T and F I have some traits form both personality types. NT and NF

"I like and probably will always like the idea of healing old wounds."
I believe that when we experience hurt or trauma the only way past them is through them. You can never just walk away because when you do you end up carrying them with you.

I liken it to the image of Jacob Marley bearing ponderous chains only in this case those chains are composed of our our unresolved traumas.
(our emotional baggage if you will)

"Of course 1 year ago, I was different and had a lot to work on, and one year from now - only God knows what I will be."

Anything your comfortable sharing?

I'll see if I can find a good myers briggs test on line ....

"One Step At A Time The World Will Be Traveled"
nice...I like that

kind of like the old line how do you eat an elephant.....
one bite at a time.

I love the sentiment "keep moving forward" especially when stuff falls apart and you find yourself asking yourself, ok what do I do now.....

Keep moving forward

BTW: I love the handle nightrainsfall such imagery that brings up...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2008
Thu, 11-20-2008 - 1:16pm

LoL, woops, I meant to say INFJ.

~ Rain   
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2004
Thu, 11-27-2008 - 7:07pm

"Now, I'm more curious about you - Do you do this as well? Have a split of things you like, or are you more focused and (probably) balanced?"

Sorry for the delay replying ....:-( main system is down and my son's been hogging my lab top lately....

Am I split of things? ...Hm I'm not sure how to answer that...

I have varied interests in truth some of what I'm currently working on is discovering those parts of my self that were lost or buried growing up....

I work in engineering though that's more to do with the opportunities available when I went to school more than my passions not that dislike it I enjoy the stimulation it's just it's been more profession than a passion.

I always thought it would be really cool to have the artistic ability and creativity to be cartoonist...I'm a big fan of Calvin and Hobbes and the far side. I've alway though "what great way that would be to make living" :-)

"There's no general direction that, I go, just a feeling that this is where I want to head towards with no goal in mind. I'm content, but I rarely like who I am or where I am at."

Do you think you are in touch with your true nature? Perhaps your still discovering you true self...trying different things is a huge part of that journey...

Tell me how do you feel about those parts of yourself that you don't like or aren't proud of? They say embracing our failings is more important than acknowledging our successes. Until we can accept our shortcoming we can never really enjoy our successes.

BTW you haven't mentioned what your major is now....

BTW thanks for great conversation I enjoy chatting with you....You have very open engaging manor that is very warm and welcoming....

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2008
Mon, 12-01-2008 - 11:52am

Hello again,

My major is Chemical Engineering, actually. So it's kinda funny you say your in engineering. It is pure luck that I love this major, for I went into it without a clue... but alot of things in my life have resulted because of luck - or I personally like to believe, Fate.

It is my personallity that I don't pick an end goal. I don't want to decide a exact direction, for then I would focus on that and close off all other possible paths. I'm very open as you stated, and this doesn't just reflect my conversation style.

I'm a perfectionist, but it's not failing that I don't accept, it's giving up without a just reason. To me, anything is possible as long as we look at it the right way, and sometimes the right way to look at something is to realize, "I am not the one to do this."

~ Rain