I feel like such a mess

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
I feel like such a mess
Tue, 12-09-2008 - 7:22am
I feel like such a mess that I don't want anyone to know me or let them near me.
I had a bad breakup where my bf ran away with my bestfriend. I have self esteem issues and communcation issues. I've never been assertive and a lot of my friendships are based on that. I just feel like know one would like me, or if they got to know my weaknesses they would be betray me like I have been in the past. Nobody understands me, and everyone is sick talking to me. I feel like a mental basketcase and becoming more isolated and lonely.
People who I thougth were my friends, actually don't care about me. I don't know if i have any friends anymore. i'm seeing a therapist for 4 months now.. i'm still very emotional about the breakup. will it ever go away?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2008
Tue, 12-09-2008 - 12:22pm

Welcome back.

I'm sorry to hear about your troubles. It must be hard to want to trust again after the bf-bestfriend situation. When did that happen exactly? It's a very hard thing to have to accept and deal with.

Diagonally (a poster here) posted a link a month ago that is fairly neat. It's Tools for Coping. The site is pretty plain and the links are very straight forward but the information is interesting and it might help you. I know I learned a few things from it.

The general URL is here -

~ Rain   
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2004
Wed, 12-10-2008 - 6:27pm
i'm too embarassed my by own weakneses that i don't want to show tem.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2008
Thu, 12-11-2008 - 8:43am


You must try Emotional Freedom Techniques(EFT). You will feel the relief every time you do this technique. It is simple and natural.

You can download a free manual here www.emofree.com.

I am an EFT Practitioner from India. You can contact me if have any queries about EFT.

You will be fine. You need to heal this pain and learn from it. Avoid slipping into a victim mentality and decide to take action now.


Susitha P. Inner Heaven Transforming Life with EFT & Law of Attraction http://www.innerheaven.net
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2008
Thu, 12-11-2008 - 9:38am

Hello and welcome to the board.

There are alot of helpful sites and resources out there, so thank you for pointing out another.

~ Rain   
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2006
Wed, 12-17-2008 - 9:38am


Resentment is absolutely normal. It took me like 3 years or so after my last long-term
relationship to entirely get over the fact of how betrayed I felt. No one likes
being lied to. I don't think you should care of those pessimists in your life.
If they truly are there for you they wouldn't hurt you especially when your already
hurting. She obviously isn't a friend to run off with what she knew was yours.
That's plain intention. Kick her to the curb and find non-sabotage type girlfriends.

Good luck,


random iVillager, eReader_k007 "Life's a triOp. Tie your shoelAces"
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2008
Wed, 12-17-2008 - 11:17am

ereader -

Welcome to the board. It's nice to see a new name about.

~ Rain