Feeling "Less-than" after long breakup
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|Wed, 12-10-2008 - 3:16pm|
Hi there -
I'm posting here cause I realize I tend to feel less of myself after a failed relationship. I have to know there's nothing wrong with me, that it's my ex-bf's choice to not want me to not appreciate who I am and not want to be with me. That there's nothing wrong with me. But it's so hard to be confident when all I can do is compare myself to others.
My ex bf says he still loves me as when we were together but he just can't take the responsibility of being in a relationship - plus he claims to know that if he is with me then it means forever, and he's not ready for that type of commitment.
I am a strong person, at times.. I just came back from traveling for a few months, on my own. I needed to do that to boost my self-confidence.. but it seems that I'm slowly losing that again.
How can I stop myself from thinking: my ex just wants to be with other girls, he just wants to see what is better out there, other girls get to hang out with him and I can't.... If you ever met this guy you would think he was the nicest guy ever. And he is. Thats what makes this difficult. He isnt a jerk in any way.
Well anyway.. I don't know how I can stop comparing myself to the girls that he may be hanging out with. I know I make up stories and assumptions in my head, and I probably feed myself with harmful statements, like trying to see what the other girl has that I don't. I'm trying not to focus on him so much, and focus soley on me. But it's so hard, because I miss him and I know he still cares for me and loves me but doesnt want to promise me anything in fear that he can't deliver. I just feel that there's more, that there's something wrong with me, that I'm not good enough. I have always felt not good enough. Growing up, and in my previous relationships, and even in this past one, but I know I kinda made it up in my head in this past one - that I always found examples of ways I wasnt good enough...
AH. I need some help to get my head out of this mess! People around me know me as a positive, outgoing, outspoken, friendly, social person. But inside I feel insecure, and not good enough. I always find myself competing with other girls, and I dont want to be comparing myself! I want to be happy with myself and not feel any animosity