having a hard time...

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2005
having a hard time...
3
Sat, 03-28-2009 - 12:21am
lately i've been having a hard time with just feeling good and being happy...i feel that my self-esteem relies too much on others. of course others will always have some sort of impact on me, but i feel that the impact accounts for too much with me. for example, if my boyfriend is upset with me, i take it to heart--probably moreso than anyone else would. i fret about it and worry if he still feels happy with me, even after the argument or issue is settled...i am going to school to become a teacher, and on days when the teaching didnt get so well, or the kids are confused or not listening well, i blame myself and instead of brushing it off, i start to think that im not fit for the job and i start to question if i am on the right career path. i feel very sensitive. i care too much about what others think of me....i feel that i take things to the extreme. i have been so busy since the beginning of the year, i rarely have time to just veg out or relax or do something nice for myself. i feel that i am constantly stressing about an assignment that is due, or a test i have to study for, and so on...i just feel that i am not content, and i dont know where to start. i dont know if its just a tough time that i will eventually get through, or if i need to start working on some things. i dont know where to start. i just wish i could learn to be easier on myself, to be happier with the little things, to look on the bright side, to not worry about what others think, to look forward to the future. i know all these things are possible, but i dont know where to start. i would appreciate advice. thanks.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
Sat, 03-28-2009 - 9:36am

Hello skydiverzz.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2008
Sun, 03-29-2009 - 7:34pm

Hello!

I'm sorry to hear about your hard time. The changes you are talking about sadly are a slow process, at least from my own experience. I would look for the traits you like, the ablity to balance, to say no, to be confident with yourself, in others, and then I would get around those people in attempt to pick them up. You might want to talk to a councilor or someone who would be able to make this geared towards you more, for what works for me, may not work for you - but that said, we all (people in generally) tend to do better, and grow more, in communities and groups, than we do on our own. :-)

I hope you look at what n2 said, and respond back. I'm interested to see what comes from your want to change. Good luck and if you have anything more on your mind, post it!

~ Rain
~ Rain   
       
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2006
Mon, 03-30-2009 - 8:31am
it sounds like you're really anxious. i have anxiety issues sometimes and i do exactly the same thing with my husband that you do with your boyfriend - when he's upset with me, i really take it to heart and fret about it long after the issue is settled. do you do this more when you're stressed out (like right now)? you are very busy and have a lot on your plate, so it's understandable that you don't have much free time. however, it's imperative that you make time for yourself, even if it's only 30 minutes a day. do something relaxing - go for a walk or try meditation or some simple yoga stretches or deep-breathing techniques. you have to establish a calming ritual for yourself that you can