What can we do for you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
What can we do for you?
12
Wed, 04-08-2009 - 11:38am

I’m sure we all have notice, more some than others, how slow or inactive this board has become.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2006
Wed, 04-15-2009 - 8:36am
you know
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
Mon, 04-13-2009 - 11:07pm

Please don't hesitate here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2007
Mon, 04-13-2009 - 10:57pm
I think that there are a couple of reasons why I hesitate to discuss my personal problems online. The first one I told you about earlier, that I've been burned a few too many times on iVillage and other message boards, so I've shied away from doing it anymore. Another reason is because sometimes when I have problems and I type it out they sound petty and I feel like I shouldn't bother people with them. And another reason is because of the people at my last job. When someone discussed her problems someone else would chime in with a worse problem and them someone else would bring in another, even worse problem. "Yes, you have your problems, but MINE are much, much worse, so you have no room to complain." I really got sick and tired of hearing that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
Mon, 04-13-2009 - 10:28pm

You bring up some very good points.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2006
Mon, 04-13-2009 - 8:22am
i think you guys are doing a great job. i know that
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
Fri, 04-10-2009 - 1:38pm

Well, I'm a big hugger in person, so I will send a cyber hug out to you ((ruby)), for your reply and offer.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2009
Fri, 04-10-2009 - 10:20am

I might have posted this twice? Sorry if so! I'm really new here, and I don't exactly know what I'm doing :) but I am very interested in being a part of this board.

"Look for a lovely thing and you will find it, "

                    &nbs

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2007
Thu, 04-09-2009 - 11:21pm
I understand completely what you mean about people posting and then disappearing. I've seen it happen time and time again on the boards. And they will post about some really serious problems, like their husbands are having an affair or their teen is anorexic or they have lost their jobs and are about to lose their homes, etc. They can get dozens of replies, but they don't post anything after their initial post and just disappear. So you have no clue if what you said helped them or not. It's almost like they just want to use the boards to air their dirty laundry and go. And I've also seen people post the same question on several different boards, as if the advice they were given on one board wasn't what they wanted to hear, so they are going to try another board.

I certainly don't mind helping people with their problems. If I think that I have a solution or just can show them another way of seeing things, then I'll certainly do that. I've always been told that I was a good listener and people often tell me their problems without me prompting them to do so.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
Thu, 04-09-2009 - 6:33pm

Thank you sisterhoney. I especially thank you for your honesty. I am sorry that you have had some bad experiences on the site. That is troubling to hear and I must say that I am surprised.

I was just talking to Rain about venting. Please do not mistake my remark to Rain as being "I don't want anyone to vent". That was not my intent. What I am talking about is that often members will come to the board, vent and then disappear until they want to vent again, never offering anyone else any assistance. As Rain has said many times to folks here, sometimes getting involved in volunteering work or community activities which benefit others, can in fact benefit you as well. What I would like to see on the board is truly a "group", were we listen fully and talk/write with one another. You don't have to be perfect to be of help. Some of the smartest remarks I have heard have come from individuals that are considered ill, in a number of ways.

Also, sometimes people will come in, sounding really down and desperate. But what if no one ever checked in on the board to see what was going on....then the desperate person would have to suffer or go somewhere else. If no one visits the board, then what happens to the board?

I think we have had members here say, This is just a vent, thought, rambling, etc. and I don't really need anyone to respond. I remember "roxy" doing that before, not too long ago. So, vent away if you want to here. Please don't stop if it's helping you. But you also come up with some great responses to others too, so please don't stop that either ;o) I'm not trying to change your mind, just merely explaining my motives, I suppose....or perhaps I'm venting!!! LOL

Thanks again for being honest and posting.

dragonfly siggy

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
Thu, 04-09-2009 - 6:15pm

Good questions Rain! I fear that many folks come in....vent/purge...then disappear until they need to do it again. That of course, relieves the frustration for the moment, but it does not help accomplish anything permanently. Validation is important, we all need it, none the less, we still need to focus on the root once in a while. I think by building stronger support here, and tolerance, we can each rebuild our own self-esteem.

I'm hoping there are a lot of responses to this thread. I guess if there is not, that will tell us something too.... :o(

thanks

dragonfly siggy

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