I'm a newbie

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2007
I'm a newbie
12
Wed, 04-15-2009 - 1:31pm

I all

I believe it's the first time I'm posting on this board. I was just wondering how you all handle being around people who intimidate you?

I tend to get nervous and quiet around people who are smarter than I am, more knowledgeable, more successful...etc. It also really depends on their personalities and whether or not I feel I can relate or "click" with them. I feel as though I can't be myself...maybe b/c a part of me actually believes that I am on a "lower level" than they are, like I'm not as good as they are.

I really hate feeling this way. I observe other people and I notice that they clearly don't have the same problem as I do. It makes me wonder where we get our personalities from, and why we act the way we do.

Any thoughts, comments, suggestions? It would be appreciated. Thanks.

~Jennifer

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-26-2007
Sun, 04-26-2009 - 9:39am

Hey jackeev75

Thanks for your reply. As I think about it, I think the key is to just be yourself no matter how much different you are from whoever it is who's intimidating you. I think most people would respect you more, even if you have nothing in common. Also, you will probably respect yourself more in the long run. In my case, I feel that I have a sense of humor, and I can ask a lot questions that pop into my head, and I can ramble on and engage in conversations...I can do all that...but a lot of times I just hold back simply b/c I'm afraid what others would think about me, and I'm afraid of saying something stupid. There have been a lot of times where I ended up feeling like such a fool, and I guess I just want to avoid that feeling. When I find myself in situations like that, I remind myself to relax, because 98% of the time it's nothing to get worked up over. I also remind myself to just be "me." When I'm truly being myself and more open, I find that people like me more. I also feel the confidence start to build up and I realize that some things are a lot easier than they seem.

"Maybe it's because he's cute, but I'm much more intimidated by intelligence than looks."

I am the same way. Some people though seem to have it all! They have the brains, the success, the personality, the looks, the motivation, and the social life! All this together makes me feel that I am just a loser! (Big L on my forehead)! LoL. I know it's not true, but still...

Take care and good luck with everything.

Jen

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2006
Tue, 04-28-2009 - 9:41am

thanks for sharing the anecdotes :) i know what you mean about feeling intimidated around young professors, but they were in your shoes at one point not too long ago! sometimes when i feel intimidated i imagine the intimidator in their underwear and then i feel better. also, your friend in class does sound cute and maybe you can take a couple of pointers from her

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