I am so bitter..........

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2008
I am so bitter..........
4
Thu, 05-07-2009 - 11:14pm

I don't know if this is the right board to post this...........


I have become so bitter and aggravated in the last month or so. I really don't have any problems like some people do, but I have let the ones I have control me. The final straw was a relationship break up in which I feel totally insulted. I am actually appalled that this guy rejected me considering his history. This sounds bad but I low-ward my standards to go out with him. He has been married 3X, the 3rd wife came with an illegitimate kid and then she cheated on this guy like 3 times. I turned him down a year ago because we worked at the same place, but I explained that. We ran back into one another

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2008
Fri, 05-08-2009 - 12:03pm

Hi, just a couple questions about what you are experiencing. This guy that has a lot of baggage, why did you feel the need to lower your standards to be with him? It sounds like you have a lot to offer, why not stick with the same standards as you've had before?

I'm sorry you have lost two significant loves that way, it must have been incredibly difficult.

"If you don’t like something, change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it." - Mary Engelbreit.



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"The key to good decision making is not knowledge. It is understanding."
Malcolm Gladwell Blink

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2007
Fri, 05-08-2009 - 8:58pm

I suggest also the book - Women who love too much (Robin Norwood).....the title may not sound right for you but it didn't for me either....I didn't look at the title at all I picked up the book, I was in the relationship section and I opened it and this is the line I read - "Our own needs for love, attention, nuturing and security went unmet while we pretended to be more powerful and less fearful, more grownup and less needy than we really felt."


It is totally a good book for you....as it is for me....it explains alot of different upbringings (case studys) and you are bound to find yourself in there...how and why we pick the mates we pick....and it has helped me learn alot my personality and therefore be willing to change some of it....because now I know some of the causes.


And on another note...no one likes rejection...I don't care if you are rejected from a vagrant on the street...rejection hurts our EGO.....I also have a tape about EGOS....But, if you look at those things....and what another poster said.....you should probably be looking for someone that meets higher standards....so try and look at it like "he LOST out".....and everything happens for a reason...him dumping you leaves room for a better prospect!


Missy
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
Fri, 05-08-2009 - 9:02pm

Welcome skipastar.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2008
Sat, 05-16-2009 - 9:06pm
Thanks, your replies have been very helpful.