Accepting and loving me

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2009
Accepting and loving me
Fri, 05-29-2009 - 6:39pm

I am single, widowed for 8 years. I do have one grown, married child and two children in their late teens and one beautiful grandbaby.

I would love to start dating again. I have soooo many questions and if there were a class I would definitely sign up for it! With having so many questions I think I should start with what is probably the biggest concern. Its my own body image.

I don't mean to seem braggy but back in the day I was quite the hotty pototty. Obviously I am much older now and a good 40 lbs heavier. I'm trying to keep this short but I am working on the weight and have shed quite a few pounds. I've also accomplished some pretty big goals including yesterday I jogged the entire length of our local county park and back! I was so proud of myself.

Yet, I cannot get beyond this bad self image. I would say on a scale of 1-10 (1 being the lowest and 10 the best) my self image is about a 5 or 6 depending on my mood.

I just keep having negative self dialogue when I start really thinking about dating. It usually goes something like this: "ew, my body is so flabby and gross, what man is going to be attracted to me now?"

I already know that I am not going to be successful in the dating world if I do not get over this quick. Please give me some advice as to how to change my self image and find the beautiful qualities I still possess.

~I don't believe in coincidence, I believe in God and I am not lucky I am blessed!~
~I don't believe in coincidence, I believe in God and I am not lucky I am blessed!~
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
Sat, 05-30-2009 - 10:19am

Welcome again. I would utilize several boards on the ivillage site. Here is the main list that you can scan through for Health, Diet & Fitness:

Some that I would recommend would be:
Laugh Yourself Well
Your Well-Being: Ages ??

As you said, it sounds like your body image is what is in need of work, not really your self-esteem. Though sometimes, one can inadvertently affect the other.

It sounds like you have a quest. Enjoy the adventure and keep posting.

dragonfly siggy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2008
Sat, 05-30-2009 - 12:03pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2009
Sun, 05-31-2009 - 1:22am

My situation is relatively similar. I'm recently divorced and the thought of dating freaks me out...I have those same thoughts with myself. So I'm sending you some hugs and a huge pat on the back for all your hard work and difficult times you've gone through.

It's been nearly 17yrs since I've been on a date or been w/someone other than my ex. eek!