Shattered ego on the job

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2009
Shattered ego on the job
10
Sun, 06-28-2009 - 6:19pm


I'd like to post a question for everyone familiar with the Internet professional networking website Linkedin. I signed up with their services a couple of months ago knowing that Linkedin has quickly become the new Monster.com and more and more people use it in their job search. So I wanted to utilize the service even more by building up a new profile for myself in case I needed to use Linkedin further than for connections. Well, I am now in a position that I would like to start asking for the so called "endorsements" through Linkedin as my current job may be in jeopardy and I may be start looking for a new job soon. For those of you not familiar with the endorsement part of it, it's basically like asking your "connections" through this site for job recommendations. Task I've been dreading because of my low self-esteem, or the assumption that no previous boss of mine would like me enough to write me a recommendation.

But I finally did it. I got my balls together and I emailed my current boss with whom I always thought I had a good relationship with, asking him to write me a brief recommendation for Linkedin. I basically asked this by saying: "as intimidating as it is for me, can you please write me abrief recommendation for the job I've done for this company for the past year and a half? I hope that you think that I made even the slightest contribution".....

That was 6 days ago and not a word of response!

Before you start suggesting that perhaps he hasn't gotten my request yet, I know for a fact that he did because there was activity under his Linkedin account in the last 6 days, eg. he added new connections, updated his profile, etc.

This is my current boss, friends. I don;t see him very often because I'm a freelancer and only go into the office once every few weeks which makes this awkward situation just a tiny bit easier to deal with but I'm sure I will have to face this man sooner than later.

Please help because I have no idea what to do and how should I behave around this man once I see him or talk to him. Do I mention this to him in any way? Do I assume and accept that by not writing me a recommendation, he has decided not I am not worthy of one or at least not a positive one? My intuition tells me not to mention this "incident" to him ever again because his response or better yet, a lack thereof, speaks louder than words here. In such case, do I take this as a sign that perhaps I should try to move on to another job sooner than I thought I'd have to? I mean, no one fired me yet and no one has said anything about me not doing a good job but at teh same time, my job is not one that would provide me with a lot of feedback anyway. I do what I have to, I submit assignments on time and attend meetings.

I have suffered from a low self-esteem my whole life so brushing this incident off as if nothing ever happened, will be extremely difficult for me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2009
Mon, 06-29-2009 - 8:21am

IMO you absolutely do need to ask your boss about the reference

.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2006
Mon, 06-29-2009 - 3:38pm
i'm sure he is just thinking about what to say. if someone asked me to write them a recommendation, i'd take my time with it. don't worry!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2009
Mon, 06-29-2009 - 3:57pm
How long should I give it? Do I say something at some point? Should I just start looking for another job ASAP?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2006
Tue, 06-30-2009 - 9:15am
what's your timeline in your current job? are you doing contract work? i think
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2006
Tue, 06-30-2009 - 11:21am

Welcome petite_chounette to the self-esteem board.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2009
Thu, 07-02-2009 - 11:41am

Hi,


One of my favorite books is by Don Miguel Ruiz and it's called "The Four Agreements."

Kassandra

Think big, act small, love all the way through...

http://predivorceplaybook.blogspot.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2006
Thu, 07-02-2009 - 12:48pm

kassandra, welcome to the self-esteem board.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2009
Thu, 07-02-2009 - 1:33pm

Thanks for the welcome.

Kassandra

Think big, act small, love all the way through...

http://predivorceplaybook.blogspot.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-28-2009
Thu, 07-02-2009 - 4:14pm

Kassandra, I have heard of Four Agreements but never read it. No offense but I guess I've always grouped those type of books as psycho bubble category aka Who Moved my Cheese, etc. That's the cynic in me and perhaps the root cause of my low self esteem.

Now, I see your point in saying that my email asking for the recommendation may seemed a little to desperate and I like your way of asking much better. But it's too late for that now, is it?

Quick update: so now it's been over 2 weeks and I have not gotten a response to my request for recommendation from my boss. Don't you think that enough time has passed at this point? I guess I'm not getting it.

I've spoken with my boss about other things since I sent the request and I am just to scared to mention it. I'm afraid of the answer or even him saying "oh yeah, i'll get around to it" and even then, it may never happen.

One of my co-workers thinks that my boss may be reluctant to writing me a recommendation because his secretary doesn't like me and she's always in his ear about it. This woman and I had a couple of conversations in the past where it was very obvious that our personalities clashed but she decided to tell the world about it. Now I'm afraid that my boss may be influenced by it. Yes, I am making more assumptions, shame on me.
What do you think?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2009
Fri, 07-03-2009 - 3:51pm
The truth is the psychobabble works.

Kassandra

Think big, act small, love all the way through...

http://predivorceplaybook.blogspot.com