Is My Low-Self Esteem the Problem?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2009
Is My Low-Self Esteem the Problem?
Tue, 07-28-2009 - 7:05pm
I discovered recently that my husband was a member of an adult forum. He has been viewing porn posted by other members, posting his own porn and making comments about the women. I am really distressed about it. I have really low self-esteem, so I am wondering if this is why I am so bothered by it. Do you think my self-esteem is the problem or is it wrong that my husband is doing this? If it is my self-esteem, how do I fix it? Are there any books that will help?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2009
Tue, 07-28-2009 - 7:38pm

There's a great way for you to discover the answer to that question.


Think big, act small, love all the way through...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2006
Wed, 07-29-2009 - 2:08pm

kassandra has already given you a great starting point,

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2009
Thu, 07-30-2009 - 2:38am
Partly, it is from your self-esteem and the other half is from your husband's behavior. Men are visual creatures. That's why we used to see them ogling to sexy ladies and they love porn. They just love doing it. On to man's mind, they might see a woman that they admire but it doesn't mean that they love them. They can separate attraction and admiration from love. Like from a fling to a wife. If you are threatened by the idea that your husband like or is attracted to some women he sees in the adult group he is joining, then you have low self-esteem. You can read the e-book of Amy Twain which is the "Fabulous Self-Esteem" which is very uplifting. Actually I already have that one and it's really great. A fantastic self-help e-book. I have read so many self-improvement books but this one is kinda exceptional. You can download it in or you can go to to look for the e-book. ;-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
Thu, 07-30-2009 - 10:23am

Good morning waltzjmp and welcome to the self-esteem board.