really frustrated - feeling invisible

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2006
really frustrated - feeling invisible
4
Mon, 08-17-2009 - 5:15pm

I just need to vent.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2006
Mon, 08-17-2009 - 6:54pm

I should clarify something. I am NOT interested in getting married anytime soon but I am 28 and I'd like to know that being in a relationship/marriage is something I can look forward to in the future.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2009
Tue, 08-18-2009 - 2:20am
Oh, I think your family has favoritism. That's also the same with my family as well as I'm also 28 like you and still single. I also date but it seems that I'm not lucky to find the right guy for me. Sometimes I think if what's the problem with me. I know I'm nice but most guys that I met are not that good. Most of them are into sex thing. I don't understand why guys are so physical. Regarding with favoritism, what I received from my family are insults and criticisms which causes me to have low self-esteem. They favor my sister who they said is beautiful and talented. I don't care but what they are doing to me is unfair. So what I did was, I tried to improve myself and I did. Now, I have a good job, good friends and improved a lot better from my old self. I feel great especially while my beautiful sister failed her marriage and doesn't have any job to support her son. That incident has calmed me because it proved that they are really wrong in giving such worth to my sister.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2006
Tue, 08-18-2009 - 10:52am

thanks. I do agree that there is favortism going on in my family in my sister's favor. My parents have always favored my sister and it always comes back to my being visually impaired with a life-long condition for which there is absolutely no cure. All because of that, my parents decided long ago that I wouldn't be able to be the successful one and that the plan would be that my sister would get her Master's in Physical Therapy and support me.


Reality is that we both graduated from college, she switched programs behind our back and lied to all three of us. She took a year off and then went to another school to get her Master's. She was either forced to withdraw from the second school (her story) or as I suspect, she was academically dismissed b/c of her grades in lab practicals.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2009
Tue, 08-18-2009 - 10:55pm

Maybe your parents just like your sister more than you because they are proud of her because she is beautiful like the thinking of my family of me. And now, I'm the one who excelled and has a good life which is far more better than my sister. It's like life sympathized with me and let them see the irony. They underestimated my capacity and now they doesn't even think that I can be successful. I know they were ashamed of themselves on what I have got and become right now. I just don't care about them and I don't have any plans in pleasing my family. I was once a dumb before in trying to please them.

It seems that you are far more better than your sister who is the apple of their eye. Just make yourself worthwhile. Think that you cannot please people including your family. Good or bad, they still have something bad to say. SO, it's better to do what you want. Make yourself happy and don't join them in belittling yourself. Talk to yourself positively. Help yourself improve for the better. It's a good vengeance letting them see you being successful.