I feel like such a loser!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2009
I feel like such a loser!
9
Thu, 09-03-2009 - 1:14pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-03-2009
Thu, 09-03-2009 - 8:41pm
Have you talked to your husband about how you are feeling? It is very important that you open up to him because he is your husband and you need to feel like you can lean on him for support. It sounds to me like you are depressed..this seems to go hand in hand w/ low self esteem, which is why you think of yourself as a loser. I don't understand why you would call yourself a piece of ****. How can you say that about yourself? I'll bet your husband would be broken hearted if he knew you felt that way about yourself. Obviously your husband, who you say is a great guy, views you as a wonderful person and that's why he married you! You have many qualities and you know it. Someone must have treated you really badly to make you say such things about yourself. And advanced degrees and travel aren't that important, unless that's what you really want to achieve. Just because you know people who have achieved those things doesn't mean they are right for you! Do these friends have great husbands and good jobs, etc? They could be jealous of you. The way it sounds to me you have made a wonderful life for yourself and you have a lot to look forward to w/ wanting to start a family..there is nothing in the world more important than that, not degrees or travel or anything. Remember you are a child of God and He loves you. (((hugs)))
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
Tue, 09-08-2009 - 8:45pm

Negative self talk is the best way to remain negative about yourself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2006
Sat, 09-26-2009 - 1:37pm

If it makes you feel any better, I DO have an advanced degree...a J.D. (Law degree) and I have traveled internationally recently (India to visit family) and I feel like a loser as well. Why? Because in the grass is greener mindset, I see that other people including you, have things that

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2009
Mon, 09-28-2009 - 7:56am

great post! you really put things in perspective. you are right in that the grass always seems greener on the other side. why do you think that we, as humans, always want what others have?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-17-2006
Mon, 09-28-2009 - 10:12am

thanks! I think we always (and I'm very guilty of this) compare our lives with others. Thus, even if we're happy with the things we do have, we see what others have that we don't and focus too much on what we lack.


I'm going to try to make an effort to focus on what I do have and maybe eventually, won't miss what I don't have.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2008
Wed, 10-14-2009 - 4:46am

I can relate to your post. I often times don't feel happy. I've also felt like I've never been happy and am a loser. I feel like I can never finish anything or get anything right. I am trying to work on my self esteem and positive self talk. I think those combined will help me and you as well.

Christina

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2009
Fri, 10-16-2009 - 12:52pm


Just as a matter of perspective, I do have a new, freshly smelling, perfect little newborn at home and I wish I had a law degree as well. I get the grass is always greener attitude because I lived it for so long (I'm in my early 30s)... so here we are, in a beautiful new home with 2 Mercedez in the driveway and we're actively participate in a rat race because I thought that's what I wanted. I would like to blame the pace of life and our own American society for this constant feeling of wanting more. I'm not just referring to keeping up with the Joneses but the overall feeling in this country of not being good enough unless.... but the list never ends. We're suppose to have law degrees and be married with 2 kids by 30, own a home, travel, have many friends, etc. Do you know anyone who has it all in that order? I do, lol but honestly, I think I don't know them very well so as my friend says "you don't know what goes on behind the closed doors". What appears to look a certain way on paper, isn't always the way it seems. Does that make sense to you? My point is, look around and you'll see people with great careers and shi**y marriages, great marriages and no jobs, great hair and rotten jobs...
By the way, if you're Indian, I thought your culture had a more philosophical approach to life? Like it's all just the greedy American way...

How old are you, anyway? Unless you're in mid to late 30s, I'd say, you have enough time to meet someone to have a baby with, ha ha. Otherwise, you just need to become a little more proactive about finding a man. But again, look at me, I have my baby and a decent husband and Im perusing self esteem boards in my spare time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
Fri, 10-16-2009 - 7:06pm

LOL...loved your post just_aubrey!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2004
Mon, 10-19-2009 - 10:53pm

Appreciate who you are...not who your friends or acquaintences have or have become.