It doesn't go away overnight.....it takes about 5 years before you start feeling anything close to "Better"...and I'm talking "better" not "fixed".
thank you both for your responses.
he got that much from me while we were married the thought of giving him anymore of my time is incomprehensible. but from what you both are saying i will interpret it to mean its 5 years on me and not on him? would that be correct?
how do people get away with this and he's doing it to another woman...but she probably won't listen to me i'm just the ex.
i'm so angry and i'm truly not a hostile person.
just because you're not a hostile person doesn't mean you can't get angry. your anger is 100% justified.
i feel bad for the woman he's with now and i hope she figures him out soon. you could write her an anonymous letter or something. i think people get away with abuse because humans are social by nature and want to be part of a group, and want someone to lead them. it's how societies function. however, some people take the leadership idea a little too far and use it to manipulate or brainwash others. and most of us, unfortunately, will believe what we're told (i don't know why - for survival?). it's easier to go along with something than it is to come up with your own rules and stand up for yourself because you risk not being part of the "group". just my guess, anyway, and it might not be accurate.
i would interpret the 5 years as on you - you need to get back the time that you "lost" while you were with him.
There is so much I could say here. First of all, you are special and God wants you to feel good about yourself. You may need some professional help to deal with emotions and feelings from your prior marriage and how to keep these from affecting future relationships too much. Your friends may want to help and encourage you but sometimes it just takes a professional. Most communities have places you can go to see some guidance and advice.
Part of the mental game is to put the past in the past once you can understand the issues surrounding your first marriage and what Very important, don't hang with nay sayers or people that are always focusing on what is wrong. Try and cultivate friends that feel the "glass is half full rather than half empty". Pray and consider church as most faiths focus on hope. Seek God and he will guide you. I will pray for you every night for the next month.
Hi Free-how are you doing? I took your question to our expert on health, diet and wellness, Dr. Madelyn Fernstrom and here is the advice she has for you. http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-fbmadelyn/messages?msg=129.2
KarlaCommunity Moderator, iVillage.com