My experience with therapy so far.....

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2009
My experience with therapy so far.....
11
Tue, 12-22-2009 - 4:58pm

I saw my therapist today, sweet old man. Perhaps almost symbolic of the year ending, we did a brief summary of 2009 and I asked him what diagnosis he may have for me, after almost an entire year of not very intensive cognitive psychotherapy. His answer: Ummm, not sure. Some depression. Some mild case of schizoeffective disorder? Needless to say, he left me with no concrete answer. And hearing the latter explanation I freaked out. Schizo-what? He assured me it is NOT schizophrenia and he suspects a mild case anyway. Still, this is the first time I've heard something different than yor plain ole depression. He is also not a licensed psychotherapist but a psychologist. Not sure if that makes any difference.

I am sitting here in front of my computer and trying to make some sense out of this. Kinda hard when you're already struggling to think clearly. I am overwhelmed with this unofficial diagnosis. I briefly google the term and came up with so many serious articles on mental illness, I felt scared to death. You know how it is on the Internet, one article leads to another, pages are linked, links are shared. Next thing you know is that you're sitting in front of your computer researching the same thing for hours. And you get overwhelmed by it all. Does this means I am considered certifiable crazy? How do I go about my treatment if my guy cannot prescribe meds? He sort of left me with this and now I am trying to figure out how to get through the holidays if I will be thinking about this possible disorder I have.

What do you suggest that I do in trying to help myself feel more hopeful?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2009
Wed, 12-23-2009 - 12:58am

I am not familiar with your situation. But from what I read I would get a second or maybe third opinion. It is ok to search the internet BUT you will scare the crap out of yourself. You dont know their sources. BTW how long have you seen your therapist. Was this all in one visit. To tell you a little bit about myself. I suffer from extreme self inflicted self esteem. Which in turn leads to depression. I would be freaked out as well if they told me anything with schizo in it. BUT if it is and not saying it is. There are treatments available. Please dont worry (so easy said) until you speak to a couple more doctors. I would suggest finding a therapist that you click with and knows you quite well. :)

Hang in there :)

Time heals all wounds, unless you pick at them. --Shawn Alexander
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2009
Wed, 12-23-2009 - 1:15pm
i agree with i_believe: get a second or third opinion. googling will just drive you crazy. i looked up schizoaffective disorder, too, and it looks like it's a type of mood disorder - do your moods shift a lot?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
Fri, 12-25-2009 - 1:00pm

I am sorry that he scared you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2009
Tue, 12-29-2009 - 1:49am
Remember that all psychological/psychiatric diagnoses really should be viewed in terms of a continuum. That is, you can have either a really slight form of the disorder or a really serious form of the disorder. When I was taking a mental illness diagnosis class, whenever we went over a new disorder, people would say, "Uh oh, I have those symptoms! I think I have that disorder!" A lot of mental illness symptoms are things that seem pretty common behaviors, fears, etc., and I think if you really analyzed anyone, you could probably come to the conclusion that they have some sort of mental disorder. Also, the diagnosis of mental illness is really nebulous and subject to the personal interpretation of the counselor.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2009
Fri, 01-01-2010 - 4:29pm
Is it possible to convince yourself that you have a mental disorder?
Someone whose opinion I care about, said to me once that I'm a "psycho" and our friendship broke up because I was acting fairly immaturely.
All these years later I am starting to recall those words and obessing over whether they could be true. I think this is the culprit of my low self esteem. I am just confused about myself- if people have said those things to me, does that mean they're true?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2009
Tue, 01-05-2010 - 7:55am
do you truly, deep in your heart of hearts, think that you're psycho?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2009
Sun, 01-17-2010 - 6:48pm
U know, Im not sure how to answer that because my sense of worth is so low
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2009
Mon, 01-18-2010 - 1:18pm
okay, before the incident with your neighbors, would you have called yourself a psycho?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2009
Mon, 01-18-2010 - 4:33pm

Okay, I'm almost inclined to say "no"
But
"crazy" thoughts have been occupying my mind since such as "well, I thought I was doing ok mentally but perhaps that was just an illusion of mine"
see, the big sub-theme here is that I'm convinced that others perceive me in a completely different way that I perceive myself
meaning
I am crazy, I just don't realize it

am I a mess or is this a real cry for help?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2009
Tue, 01-19-2010 - 11:10am
now, i'm not a licensed professional or a doctor or anything, but in all honesty i think that this episode triggered some kind of anxiety in you. the constant questioning and worrying is a big sign; also, i have OCD tendencies so i know what it's like to go over and over something in your mind and to think that you're losing it when it's just your overactive brain. try googling "anxiety symptoms" and see if you can identify with them. this might bring you some relief.

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