I am alone

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2010
I am alone
8
Fri, 02-05-2010 - 10:46pm

I am all alone. I don't have any friends. I 've never had a boyfriend. (I'm in my thirties.) I am a very quiet person, but even quiet people have some friends. I have no one, so it must be something else about me that people don't like. I have tried talking to people, but still they don't like me. So, I don't know exactly what I am doing that is wrong. The funny thing is that people never tell me what I did which makes them stop saying "hello." I've accepted that I can't have friends and will never have anyone to go out with. (I only accepted this fact a few months ago so that I could stop

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
In reply to: alloy_j
Sat, 02-06-2010 - 11:57am

Actually, your problem is extremely common.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2009
In reply to: alloy_j
Mon, 02-08-2010 - 5:16pm

such good insight, as usual. Now that I know that you're 60 yo, it makes even more sense that you possess the kind of wisdom that we in our 20s and 30s wish we had. my grandmother used to say that people don't think about us as much as we think they do, sort of true.

I have the same "problem" as the original poster although mine is certainly a little more elaborate as it encompasses other "issues". However, I can attest to the fact that loneliness must be sign of the times hence so many people struggling with this issue. I mean- look at us- we seem to gravitate to online interactions a lot more than those "proper" relationships in actual physical settings. I know that is because we hope not to be judged as much by others.

A woman I know clean houses for a living and a few years back she told me that 6/10 homes have anti-depressants in their medicine cabinets and these homes belong to CEOs and CFOs of large corporations. Maybe it's perhaps it's actually that lonely at the top, as they say.

For me, I find that the most meaningful relationships I have in my life are the ones I've developed early in life, friends I met in second, eighth grade, college, etc. For some reason unknown to me, I can relate to them better than let's say co-workers and newly acquired acquaintances. I'd suggest you look into your own old relationships and assess if perhaps any of them are worth re-kindling? with facebook now, it should be a fairly easy process....

Hugs, Aubrey

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2010
In reply to: alloy_j
Tue, 02-09-2010 - 10:24pm
What you said about positive individuals is true. I try to
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
In reply to: alloy_j
Wed, 02-10-2010 - 9:42am

Thank you for your compliment.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
In reply to: alloy_j
Wed, 02-10-2010 - 9:46am

Perhaps you are focusing on being lonely, rather than the blessings that surround you?


<"I was actually afraid of what the responses to my post would be, so I put off reading them until now.">

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2009
In reply to: alloy_j
Wed, 02-10-2010 - 11:08am
i think everyone is alone at one time or another, if that's any consolation for you. the best thing you can do for yourself is to become
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2010
In reply to: alloy_j
Wed, 02-10-2010 - 4:42pm

re: This statement tells me that you put your sense of worth into other peoples hands.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2010
In reply to: alloy_j
Wed, 02-10-2010 - 4:46pm

I actually feel okay when I'm alone. It's just when I'm around people at work who get along so well with each and I feel left out, but after reading all your posts I'm starting to focus more on myself and that helps me feel better. thanks