Looking for Suggestions

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2010
Looking for Suggestions
Mon, 02-22-2010 - 8:48pm

Hello Everyone,

I'm new here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2009
Tue, 02-23-2010 - 2:27am
Could you and a group of friends read the book together and then explore how the ideas presented relate to each of you personally and your thought processes? You could then set goals or challenges for each week and report back to the group each week about how well you have done with your challenge. Just an idea . . . You could probably even do it with one friend. We could even do it here; we could read the book and then meet and discuss it. Hmmmm. Something to think about.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2010
Tue, 02-23-2010 - 2:18pm

I think i'd feel safer doing something like that in this setting.

Avatar for firstglimpse
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Tue, 02-23-2010 - 3:46pm

Me, personally, has found a lot of help with a podcast from zencast.org. They are teachings from a Buddhist Monastery, but keep it very religious friendly. Listening has just helped bring a whole new outlook on life. There are sometimes some visiting lecturer's & some I would not care to agree with, but most of them are done with a monk by the name of Gil.

It's sort of a way to connect with you inside, help rid self of guilt, help to keep the focus on the present rather than the past or future.

I think that is probably the biggest help with 'learned' behavior is learning to let go of the past. I don't know if you can 'undo' this learned behavior, until you do start forgiving others & yourself & let the past simply be the past.

They do focus a lot on bringing self to the present. Of course a lot on meditation as well, but I believe meditation does not have to be sitting in a quiet room for an hour. Maybe that is ideal for ones health, but not practical as a mother, wife, etc. I find I can meditate while cleaning the house, taking a walk, preparing for bed.

It is on these podcasts I heard this quote:

"The definition of forgiveness is giving up all hope for a better past." I think the quote actually came from Lily Tomlin - but wow, I like it.


Also, I have found these boards to help a lot with developing my ideas. I will come to iVillage to discuss what I've learned. Even if I don't get feedback, it somehow helps me formulate my floating thoughts into ideas.


"Only when we are sick of our sickness shall we cease to be sick."

~ Lao-Tzu, from The Tao Te Cheng
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2009
Wed, 02-24-2010 - 2:29pm
i'll read the book with you. did you buy it on amazon?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2010
Fri, 02-26-2010 - 1:39pm

A good suggestion is to write what it is you want in your life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
Sat, 02-27-2010 - 9:16pm

I did a search on the book you mentioned.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2009
Sat, 02-27-2010 - 9:21pm

"dysfunctional thought record"

n2ishn, you have given me some excellent feedback in the past but when I mentioned the "dysfunctional thought record" to my therapist, he didn't know what I was talking about, sadly.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
Sun, 02-28-2010 - 11:39am

LOL...perhaps he uses a different name for it.