I'm new here.
I think i'd feel safer doing something like that in this setting.
Me, personally, has found a lot of help with a podcast from zencast.org. They are teachings from a Buddhist Monastery, but keep it very religious friendly. Listening has just helped bring a whole new outlook on life. There are sometimes some visiting lecturer's & some I would not care to agree with, but most of them are done with a monk by the name of Gil.
It's sort of a way to connect with you inside, help rid self of guilt, help to keep the focus on the present rather than the past or future.
I think that is probably the biggest help with 'learned' behavior is learning to let go of the past. I don't know if you can 'undo' this learned behavior, until you do start forgiving others & yourself & let the past simply be the past.
They do focus a lot on bringing self to the present. Of course a lot on meditation as well, but I believe meditation does not have to be sitting in a quiet room for an hour. Maybe that is ideal for ones health, but not practical as a mother, wife, etc. I find I can meditate while cleaning the house, taking a walk, preparing for bed.
It is on these podcasts I heard this quote:
"The definition of forgiveness is giving up all hope for a better past." I think the quote actually came from Lily Tomlin - but wow, I like it.
Also, I have found these boards to help a lot with developing my ideas. I will come to iVillage to discuss what I've learned. Even if I don't get feedback, it somehow helps me formulate my floating thoughts into ideas.
A good suggestion is to write what it is you want in your life.
I did a search on the book you mentioned.
"dysfunctional thought record"
n2ishn, you have given me some excellent feedback in the past but when I mentioned the "dysfunctional thought record" to my therapist, he didn't know what I was talking about, sadly.
LOL...perhaps he uses a different name for it.