i can't handle office politics
Find a Conversation
|Wed, 04-14-2010 - 12:56pm|
I am an extremely insecure person in every facet of my life. I don't handle rejection or criticism very well if at all. A negative comment about my attitude, looks, work can send me into depression for weeks/months.
I feel grateful enough for my job and that it allows me to work from home because I don't need to interact with my co workers very often. I also have a very non-bossy boss who just sort of checks in with me every now and then. I recently found out that one of my co-workers was promoted to a higher position within the company, basically she took on some of my boss' responsibilities. There was no mass email, no announcement made to the rest of the employees, essentially the promotion happened in a semi unofficial, no fuss way where one day she just had a different signature in her email and that's how most of us found out. My problem with it is that I AM the most qualified person for this position even if that is only how I feel. Either way, this kills me as I've never been passed up for a promotion this way.
My point is, and I am just venting, that each time I deal with a situation like this is that I remind myself that I have never been able to play the office politics well. Somehow I am unable to befriend everyone (people like that exist) and I tend to keep to myself because I am afraid that people will judge me and talk behind my back. Because I know they do. I get very timid about work affairs but never show it. On the outside I play confident although I think some of my behavior gives away my insecurity. For example, I've been told that I apologize too much. Anyway, this thing with work.... I am obsessed with why I wasn't considered for this promotion although I know part of the answer and it happens to be something fairly practical so not directly related to me. But why then do I tell myself things like that no one likes me and there must be something wrong with me because I can't seem to figure out how to play this corporate game of getting ahead in business.
My therapist says that I should replace the negative thoughts in my head with positive ones. But how do I do that when I don't believe in the positive thoughts?