My mom needs help!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2009
My mom needs help!!!
Thu, 06-10-2010 - 10:45am

I don't know what to do anymore.
My mom is a stay at home wife and 15 years ago we moved to Holland from South Africa. The culture difference is a HUGE HUGE shock but its not so bad now. She has just never adjusted here.
She has no friends, no hobbies and my dad works away from home a lot.
I still live at home because out of guilt I jsut can not leave her alone.
All she does is watch re-runs on TV, and do washing. She doesn't go out. She blames my the dog, she doesnt want to leave the dog alone.

When someone does rarely come over or she calls family back home, all she can talk about is TV reruns, and the walk time tables for the dogs. People don't want to talk to her because she is BORING.
I have bought her magazines for 55 + years plus, I have bought books, I have bought hobby materials, cook books, DVDs but nothing helps.
All she does all day is sit and complain how horrible her life is.
My parents are very poor and she cant afford to go out and get her hair done and things like that.
She hates the way she looks and sometimes refuses to go out side because of it.
I told her many times to go see someone but she just has excuses.
It feels to me like she is already dead, she has no life, except dragging mine down. I am 30 and when I stay out for a weekend she guilt trips me so much that I never go out anymore either.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2009
Fri, 06-11-2010 - 9:10am

it sounds like your mom is depressed. it's probably due to

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2009
Sat, 06-12-2010 - 5:21am
Thank you for your reply
Its hard to adjust to culture shock in Holland because the Dutch law is everyone who moves here has to automatiacally accept the Dutch culture, learn its hisory and costoms etc. They don't make it easier and I think it isolates even more people that way because they are forcing it down their throats. I see many women from other countries who are too scared to to anything.
I will look into a specialist for her, thanks.
I will try to find someone with experience with older people.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2010
Sat, 06-12-2010 - 11:10am
I do believe she's clinically depressed.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2006
Sun, 06-13-2010 - 5:10pm
you're welcome. that is a tough law. why do they force dutch culture down people's throats?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2007
Mon, 06-14-2010 - 6:57pm

Is it possible "mom" could be experiencing menopause symptoms?