Belated Welcome, Shavtay2007
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Belated Welcome, Shavtay2007
| Tue, 03-20-2007 - 10:32am |
Hi Tziporah,
I am so sorry that this is such a belated welcome to you. I've been absent from the board for nearly a month - so many things have been happening in my life that it was difficult to also come here. The good news is that life has somewhat calmed down (but I'm still crossing my fingers and my toes), which means that I'm back on iVillage.
I am so very happy to see you here, participating and sharing in our conversations! I hope that we'll get to know each other better in the coming weeks.
Welcome again!
(PS: I love the sound of your name!)

Please visit these other great message boards:
Cranio-Facial Abnormalities
In Vitro (IVF)


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That's the thing exactly. As long as i was in real pain from the eye surgery, (i had the second one and it turned out okay), and i was taking antibiotics and pain-killers to help with the pain, i was drowsy enough that i didn't really feel anything emotionally. i mean, most of the time i was sleeping or drowsy enough to just lie in bed and not do too much more. but i've been off the antibiotics and pain killer since Monday, so i am totally awake. now, probably for the first time, i am feeling the full brunt of what it is like to be without the paxxil.
honestyly, i thought it would be an easy trip. wow--was i wrong!
i seem to be getting angry every day. yesterday was really a bad day. the printr wouldn't work and i went bolistic over it.
then, when someone suggested i type the file i needed on a different printr, (i have two in the house), i was willing enough. after laboring over the file, which is mostly set up in columns, i showed him what it looked like. he said it looked good, but then went ahead on his own and rearranged the whole thing. after that, he offered to do it every month. i am not interested in that--his typing it every month.
all the old feelings came back in a turrent, a flood. the feelings of not being independent--having to hae other people do work i should be able to do myself. then the resentment about paying other people. i don't mind doing that if they've worked and earned it--but when do i get paid for anything? the shame of that. the need to acknowledge i am dependent on others because of the blindness, which i hate. the anger over the simp[lest things not working like i want them too. or the way they should.
and the obsessive part--trying over and over to get the hang of the computer enough so that i could set this thing up in proper allignment in columns, make it look decent.
i think it was then that i fully realized the difference between being on meds and off them. i have been thinking about that a lot over the past few days, because i've been reading a book that discusses this area, among other things, but i really didn't understand it till yesterday. i mean, what happened yesterday was just the way i would have acted five or six years ago, before taking the meds. i would do something over and over and over again until i finally got it and after that i'd be satisfied, or angry and give up in a huff if i couldn't do what i was trying to do. that is just what happened yesterday when i was trying to type this thing.
if i had been on the meds it would have been different. i might have tried the machine, the printr, for five or ten minutes, and then said something like: "oh, well," and just resign myself to it and go do something else. if i got angry it was always more subdued, subtle, not so violent and aggressive. and i had worked myself out of obsessing. i mean, i'd obsess for a few minutes, ot an entire day.
it feels like all that the meds did was subdue all these tendencies, not get rid of them, which it felt like was happening. i figured, if i don't feel it, think it, or behave in this way then it means i've gotten over the problem. after all, wasn't that why i was in therapy? to learn how to cope better? now it feels in some way that i was deceived. all it did was subdue the tendencies, but it didn't get rid of anything.
i guess you could say in that way meds are a good thing. they help you function better, get along with people better, and so forth. but they don't solve any of the underlying tendencies. they just dull them, mask them. that's what i am beginning to think now.
and that is also why i don't really want to go back on them. i don't want to just mask them and put myself in this dull fog sensation--where there are no extremes of emotion, just this boring level plane. i want to solve the underlying emotional problems.
of course, the si behavior is up again--nails not so great. but, i omforted myself today, and thought: at least i am not haircutting or picking at my heels. i'm actually starting to see the hair grow in and like it, like the fact i don't have to cut it off.
right now my ripped-up cuticles are baring the brunt of it.
anyway, i guess i will have to admit all of this in therapy, but part of me is afraid to. i'm afraid he'll say to go back on the meds and i really don't want to.
my sleep has been better since i've been off them. i sleep less during the day and the sleep is deeper, if i do sleep. that's one thing that has changed for the better.
i am serious about doing the necessary cognitive work.
tziporah
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
every word in your last message is true and correct. i haven't studied Scriptures all last eek, although i wanted. to. and you're right about therapy. thanks for caring and supporting me. you are a real friend.
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
cl of the Self-Injury
i looked at the date of this message. only a week! wow! it feels much longer!
well, i have been slowly getting back into learning, not just Scriptures, but other religious things as well. the main thing is: i'm learning. and that's a good thing. i was really on a starvation diet--i've gotten back into it slowly but surely and that has helped.
so, you may ask, what leads me to write at this ungodly hour? it's about 2:50am? i should be sleeping, right? well, it seems my sleep comes in short intense episodes for the most part, unless i take a painkiller pill, which i do very occasionally when the pain in my nostrils gets bad. i still have the two drains in there--one in my right eye and one in the right nostril. sometimes a lot of mucus collects. then i go into fits of sneezes and it can be quite painful. otherwise, for the most part, no more pain and the swelling has gone down. so, when i take a painkiller i can sleep more.
right now, guess my mind is just overstimulated. thinking about a lot of things and it was just keeping me awake. plus, today is a Jewish fast day, which starts at about 4445am. so i figured, might as well eat and drink before it and then go back to sleep later on. so i am sitting here with my proverbial coffee. remember the spilled coffee? i listend to you, Amanda, so if it ever spills again, which I hope it won't, I can blame it all on you for telling me not to give that up! joke, laugh.
okay. what really did it, got me out of bed, was that i was just about to start messing up a cuticle again. got it?
last night i had a haircutting episode. after letting it grow in as long as it has been for quite awhile, maybe several years, i had cut some of it off last week. so last night i finished the job. felt better getting it all off, liked playing with the mass of hair that i had cut--felt like a ball of wool--you know the kind you get when you're knitting. sounds crazy, writing it down now, but at the time it felt good, relieving, and it wasn't hurting anybody. right?
well, it might have been hurting me emotionally, but that's another story. laugh.
well, i figured, by next week, when i have to go for my ritual immersion again, it will start growing in again. (note, as a religious Jew, i immerse myself in a ritual bath following my period).
so, i had some things i was thinking about, and then i started to pick at this ccuticle. actually, the last few weeks they've been healing. don't want to ruin that. want to hold onto it. knew i just had to get up and write here.
because of the period, my husband and i are sleeping in separate beds, which is part of the religious law surrounding this thing, so i didn't have to bother him or wake him up. he's gotten used to the fact that sometimes i just have to get up during the night and work at the computer for awhile. then, after i've done what i wanted to do, i relax and can go back to sleep.
so i guess this is a good strategy. when the urge comes over me, write here.
remember that, everybody, when the urge comes over you, write here on the si msb!
what am i thinking about?
tons of things. well, not tons, but enough.
i was thinking about a learning session i had with a friend yesterday. want to check out a source for her.
then, i was thinking about getting up my website. really hard. really getting me depressed. all the articles people are sharing with coaches nowadays have to do with how to keep a business going in this lousy economy that is here to stay--how to make coaching affordable. every time i get another email article about the economy i get more depressed, less confident about really being able to pull this off. and i want to.
i think i want to.
i was reflecting about that. i always wanted, as a goal, to have a religious household. i have that. my husband enjoys religious learning like i do. so i've achieved that. so what is the money thing all about? do i even have to be doing this? i don't want to fail. all these thoughts going around in my mind, depending on where i am at.
talked about this in therapy. talk about everything in therapy till i'm blue in the face, all talked out from talking. and that's all there is--more talking! never finished with talking!
sometimes i wish he would just do something else with me, like those innovative therapists who use all sorts of other exercises. i'm reading about one of those right now. he uses hypnotrances, psychodrama, etc. to be fair, it is sort of hard to do that thing on a phone line. for those who do not know yet, i have therapy over the phone since my t. moved to another country.
my first therapist was really into these kinds of things. this guy is just straight laced. real traditional old-fashioned theapist. none of these gimmicks or alternative methods--depending on how you look at it.
plus, therapy, as you can imagine, really trying to break through all the barriers: getting me to accept myself and others. getting me to believe i can really do this coaching thing. getting me to let go of the hurt i feel with my parents. all of it. session after session.
yesterday he focused on the anger again. said i needed to use cognitive therapy methods. he's really been pushing that one real hard--my need to change my thoughts. just over and over again, really drilling that one into me. if i could just do it!
a few hours after that and i read a headline of yet more bad news. economics. and the depression started again.
plus, i figured, i want to just finish getting this website going.
at that point i started to realize i am really much further along in coaching school than i had thought. i think i knew that, but i had thought. needed to see it again. except for two modules, one of which i can make a lot of headway on this month because of the time difference--easier hours for connecting overseas--and all i have left to do is the written stuff: term papers and exams. i'm that close!
plus, i decided to set myself a deadline. one of the website developpers called me up and said: "where are you? what's going on?" i told him that i want to get material to him by March 31. after that, it's Passover--just too much work in the house to do much of anything. but here it is March 9 and i still have not done very much.
keep obsessing about my bio, biography, which is supposed to be part of the website. should it be long, short, detailed, general, third person, first person? so many different choices. a real mindfield for OCD perfectionists like me!
i just decided i'm going to send in a draft and that's it.
probably most people don't even read the stupid thing. but you 've got to have one up on your site.
actually, i feel better after writing this.
tired, but better.
probbly will stay up until the fast comes in, then go back to sleep. get some work in.
the t. said, as far as how i'm handling meds, that they did help soften my reactions. i feel that they betrayed me in a way. without them, the anger is just as intense as it was before i ever started taking them. i had been working on controlling anger when i first started therapy--even before that. during the time i was on paxxil it seemed like my reactions were dulled. i told him yesterday: "i just feel like i was emotionally asleep." he said that that might have been the case with the anger, but it certainly was not the case with other things. there were other areasin which i have been making progress. at the time i didn't think too much about that, but it seems to fit. he should know. he's been with me the entire time i was on the paxxil. he is right, when i can sit back and objectively absorb what he is saying. i guess i agree with him. i guess! hell! i do agree with him. i wasn't working on anger, but i was certainly working on other things--like si, like starting this coaching thing. things like that.
so, he said, it is now time to start doing the hard work of working on the anger control issue and self-acceptance and acceptance of others. i guess i wasn't able to do that before, not ready to do that.
i feel more ready now.
after a really bad day, when i've had a lot of outbursts, or the anger has been intense, i feel like just going back on the meds. but, then, after i've calmed down and returned to myself, i don't feel like returning to them.
at first Shabtai would say i should go back to the psychiatrist. he's been really great with my nervous outbursts, talking about how it makes him feel--he just wants to stay away, gets "afraid" of me. that hurts. i don't ever want him to feel like that.
but i share with him what is going on in therapy, some of it, at any rate, and he's very suppportive. he's the best thing i've got. the smartest decision i ever made in my life was marrying him! i mean it.
i wish every woman could have the kind of husband i have. he's very open emotionally, very easy to comunicate with, very caring. but he's also logical, stable, steady. knows when to apply wisdom, not emotionallity. he is also very kind and loving.
thinking about him, i feel anchored. i don't ever want to hurt him, certainly not with my anger, certainly not to make him not want to be here, or call me up or just be afraid of dealing with me.
well, the urge has passed for the time being.
thanks for sticking with me and reading my long posts.
Tziporah
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
the last few days have been rough, difficult, but manageable.
Thursday, in therapy, we talked about an anger response i had had. he said i had handled it successfully. to hear that i have done something successful from him, i have to really work hard! he is not the kind who just praises. you have to earn it. which is probably a good thing.
still, he asked me to do an exercise, think of alternative thoughts to the situation. i said' I can't do it. and he said i was sounding like a child, when i was a mature woman. wow! that hurt.
Friday, got up late. sleep cycle totally off. Shabtai is also sick, which is just adding onto the crazy hours. sleeping a lot during the day, up most of the night.
got a call from this long-term case i am working with. i've written about it before. she had a bad fight with her husband, who is off for an extended business trip on Saturday night. all her anger, which is mostly justified, came out. she's stuck with two kids who are both mentally ill. right now, the younger one is the real hassle. his first grade teacher is off on maternity leave and the substitute ccan't handle him. calls her, the mother, a couple of times a week to come and fetch him. i said, as did all the other professionals, not to give into this. the kid's got to stay in schol, even if he's unhappy. once you start letting them stay home, it is very difficult to get them back into it.
she agrees.
plus, she wants, and needs, a vacation. hasn't had one for a year. burned-out with the kids.
burned-out from endless laundry and all the rest of it.
plus, Passover coming up. okay, i know you guys don't know about that too much, but if you have any Jewish friends, especially women, ask them what it means! tons of special cleaning and preparation!
all this, of course, with her husband out of the country! got the idea?
it put me into a depressive funk. felt helpless. sympathetic and helpless and angry at her husband who is a -------.
last week he told her that he's responsible for the work and she's responsible for the house. meaning, even if there are heavy garbage bags he won't lift a hand to help.
i said, that was just like the Arab villagers you sometimes see on back roads here--women carrying heavy loads, buckets of water on their heads, etc., while their men sit in front of the tent playing backgammon.this is the 21st centutyr, but you still see that kind of thing.
don't forget, in Saudi Arabia, women still aren't allowed to have a driving license! that's a fact.
i suggested, only half-jokingly, that she tell him that he's treating her like an Arab.
thought it would get him to rethink.
he responded, "well, you're dark like one." she is mixed black-white descent. racist!
so you can see why i have very little sympathy for the guy, although i'm trying hard to work on that.
realize he is probably just overwhelmed \. wasn't counting on marriage being like this, so he just shuts himself up in his office. it's her problem, her fault, not mine. after all, she's bipolar. she's the one who caused the kids to be born with mental illnesses and all that that means. he's clean.
except, of course, that he's got some things hidden in his family's background closet! if you know what i mean.
so, i'm left feeling: what can i do? after three years of active work with this woman, what has really been accomplished? asked myself for the ten thousandth time if the kids wouldn't be better off somewhere else? if she wouldn't be bettr without the kids?
it all has to do with the husband/father, who is really absent, physically and emotionally. he's the missing link in this. if he was less arrogrant, more available, willing to go through the work of opening himself up, go for therapy, it would be a different situation entirely. except all the professionals involved say that is veryunlikely, given the way he is.
i decided i'll talk to one of the people handling her case. hope he'll keep it confidential. i just feel like i need to talk to him and he's sympathetic at least. just not sure if he'll really keep it confidential.
well, that will happen later today. will talk to her first to see how she's doing.
so, after handling this little crisis call, went back to Sabbath preparations. fortunately, it was a light prep, since i had a lot of food in the freezer and just had to make some side dishes and salads and the like. zipped through it.
then, i get this coaching call from someone who is hearing my teleclasses. i don't think she really gets the fact i live in Israel, not the U.S., even though i have a U.S. line. well, it was 12pm here, 6am there, so it was a decent enough hour for her to call. decided not to bother her with the fact that i wasn't actualy in the U.S.
she starts in to telling me about a family mess--her husband won't take his meds, family issues with the kids, she's hearingimpaired. that old feeling--i'm getting sucked into all these mental illness cases, came up again.
please, please, please! don't take this wrong--anyone here reading this who may be involved with mental illness. i am not intolerant of it. it's just that, this was the very reason i left my last job in marriage counseling. couldn't handle the divorce and spousal abuse anymore. really wore me out emotionally. thought coaching would be different, with more optimistic, positive minded people, emotionally healthy and stable people. and here comes this call! that old feeling of getting sucked in again returned.
i will write to the coordinator of the teleclass line about it.
some of the women who have called me up are mentally ill. i can tell it from their voices, the tone of the voice, their reactions. or they have other very serious family issues. really need therapy, not a life coach. perhaps that is inevitable. but it was something i wanted to get away from. just fuels my depression, which i do not need.
i am not a therapist! don't want to be put in that role either.
this is not what i thought it was going to be like.
seems like everyone on the teleclass call has a therapist or is in some 12-step program or other program. am i to talk? i am also in therapy. well, i don't think i'm mentally ill, that is the difference.
i don't have bipolar, skizophrenia, a husband who won't take his medicine, a racist husband, and kids who can't control their bowels and wet in the bed, even though tehy are in elementary school.
i'm not blaming them. just tired of all of this kind of thing.
where are all the mental health professionals who supposedly are trained for this?
i know i'm gong off into tangents. just getting it out of my system.
well, at the time of this phone call, i just acknowledged that old feeling of being sucked in again and then let it go.
had a good enough Sabbath till early Saturday morning. Sabbath starts Friday night at sunset.
woke up at 2am. couldn't sleep. would have written on the computer, except that on the Sabbath, according to Orthodox Jewish law, am not allowed to write. instead, read the entire book of Psalms, which took a few hours. i could have read it faster, but went at my own pace. which was okay. it was comforting. it is supposed to be comforting. felt good i could read through all of it.
think, after writing this, will go hear a teleclass on the call from a Torah teacher i like.
anyway, after that, fell into a very deep sleep. we, my husband and i, basically slept from 9am-2pm! can you imagine it. but it was so healing, restorative.
i felt good i had done that, read Psalms.
well, now, it started up again. 2am Sunday morning and the sleep just won't come. started examining my cuticles. each finger, or almost all of them, have some sores on them. can't even figure out how half of them got there.
put on nylong gloves after putting oliveoil on my fingers and decided i'd get up and write here. nothing like a little support group.
it helps. it helps. it really does. even if Amanda is the only one who writes back regularly, which i appreciate immensely, it helps. got to get it out.
i figured out it's a lot of the pre-Passover tension mixed in with all the issues i've written about here.
relly want to get my cuticles in shape before my ritual immersion on Friday night.
don't want to get sucked into this depression again.
don't want to go back on the pills again.
will talk about it in therapy. i'm willing to do that now.
will try to figure out how to solve the problems.
feel tired now. probably writing helped--got the tension out of my system.
thanks.
again, anyone involved in mental illness, please do not take this message the wrong way.
Tziporah
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
Tziporah,
You are allowed to vent as much as you like. When you work in the counselling and coaching fields sometimes cases can really get to you and you need someone to talk to. I debrief with my supervisor or another senior staff at work if one of my sessions is too much. I don't mind at all that you come here to talk. It seems to have really affected you personally and something you are very passionate about. Now that you've got it out I hope that helps and are you able to step back a bit from it now? I congratulate you on how well you
it's another one of those early morning sessions again--at least i made it till 3am instead of 2am!
i was thinking about my last anger episode which i had a few hours ago. thinking about looking for a message board that deals with anger. can you recommend any on ivillage? i thought about venting, but i don't just want it to be a place where people can just vent ad infinity without anything constructive coming out of it. i'll check that board out and see if it works. i find if i don't read some book on anger for a day or two i have an episode. aftr i do read something about anger it seems to calm it for awhile.
i also was lying in bed and starting to bite my cuticles again. got up and put olive ooil on my hands and then put them in the nylon gloves. these are thinner gloves than the ones i usuall wear. this allows me to read the brille display on my computer. the other ones made doing that very difficult.
olive oil has certainly made my hands much softer.
i was also thinking about therapy. you are right, of course, that he is trying to get me to think differently. i don't think he was trying to shock me per se. it's been quite awhile since he's put me throughone of those sessions where he pins me against the wall and then just mercilessly drills. i don't think i've had a session like that for over a year now. i've been a good girl--cooperating, letting him do the work.
he just wanted me to get out of that child-complaining mode, which is probbly why he said it--also knowing how much that kind of remark hurts. he knows how to "hurt" in order to heal.
just like what the eye surgeon said at the end of the last operation. most of it, i felt ery little, as i was deeply sedated. but right before the end, after having put a plastic drain in my eye, he had to put one of those things, the plastic drain, up my nostrils. agony! i really let out a groan. he said, "well, it wouldn't be surgery if it didn't hurt a bit, would it?" the eye surgeon is from Dublin and he's got such a nice manner about him that it is very hard to be angry with him for anything. well, a remark like that, and i sort of melted.
well, my therapy isn't that type, but i guesss you could apply the same principle: it wouldn't be therapy if it didn't hurt a bit, would it?
that was what was going on. mostly, towards the end of the sesions now i'llhave some really deep pain and then the session's over.
he's now going deeper. iknow that. that was what i was thinking about. he's linking all the underlying emotional responses: the anger, the depression, the boredom, the general dissatisfaction. he sees my anger as a kind of addiction, just like my teaching is a kind of addiction, needing that excitement, that energy. because without it, i'm just bored. and the boredom is deep.
and he talks about enjoying the process, not just focusing on the end point, in this regard, enjoying the coaching school and the tasks, not just focusing on graduating.
the dissatisfaction withmany of my friendships and the relationship i havewith my parents.
life seems joyless a lot of the time.
i guess all of these things were also part of the underlying depression, but when that hit, i was in too much despair. looking at it now, i can see it was worthwhile taking the meds during the first difficult years of therapy. a lot of therapists and psychiatrists say that the antidepressants take just enough of the edge off to make therapy possible. well, i was in that kind of situation for seen years. i think i've come along enough in therapy not to need that anymore.
this was what i was thinking really as i was lying in bed. he's probably made all of these links/connections before, but it was probably the first time i couldhearit. i didn't even feel any pain, morelike i was beyond the pointof pain, on a deeper level beyond pain. i guess the pain came later when i started to pick at my nails and got up, when i had that anger episode. but during the treatment, i felt no pain, just open and soft enough to let what he was trying to tell me penetrate through. i could feel myself going to a new level with this therapist.
at least he is trying to heal me, trying to suggest alternative ways, help me see what life could be like without the anger, without the boredom, unhappiness and dissatisfaction. thinking about it, i would have to admit i've been bored for extended periodsof my life.
i did some clerical work lat night, filling out forms for my attendance record sheet, the coaching log i have to turn in for school. no joy really doing it. just needing to do it. later, i realized just how obsessive it felt, ocd like.
well, Amanda, getting up and turning on the compter and seeing i had a message from you--it really filled me with joy. imean, that you still care enough to write and are always so encouraging. it really gave me a mentallift when i needed it.
i did talk to one of the people handling this heavy case i wrote about. as i expected, he was very sympathetic, thanked me for my feedback, took what i had to say into consideration. he's really good at giving me the suport i need. he considers me akey player in the interdisciplinary team.
well, they have a critical meeting coming up on Sunday--the parents, the on site staff-meaning, the social workers, the school psychologists, this guy, the psychotherapists--and the parents, of course. he said my input was timely.
i felt bettr after that, after getting it out.
also, more hopeful in a strange kind of way. they are workingon trying to find appropriate school placements for each of her two kids, which is not an easy task, and she is scheduled tohave theyounger kid evaluated by a psychiatrist soon.
when i first started working with this woman, she was bipolar, lying around in bed all day, or going through regular hospitalizations. the kids' problems were not being attended to at all. there was nomaid in the house and she was having to do everything herself. her husband was threating divorce.
since then, things have changed. after the first yer, she has not needed ANY hospitalization. there are now two cars, whereas there was only one car before,which her husband would take, while she had to schlep everywhere on busses. she first had a maid twice a week and now has one three times a week and they are now considering adding more help in the house--they meaning social services.
thekids have been evaluated by child developent teams, a very lengthy, bureaucratic process, and the older kid is on meds. even if he does not take them regularly, because she forgets to give them to him, he gets them sometimes. the kids' physicalhealth is now getting attended to, more orless,including dental and eye care. and finally,last but not least, the kids are in weekly therapy, each one with his own therapist and both at a center that is relatively close to her home. she also has gone on one major vaction toseeher parents abroad--although she could do with anothr vacation, for sure. more than that, she is also starting to work on her own obesity issues, and after trying unsuccessfully to use the traditional diet/exercise routine, her husband is now open to her having suction surgery--you know, the kind where they close up the intestines, or whateer.
i have been actively involved in all of that, talking tohr day in, day out, een when she's been angry andyelled at me.
i have never received a dime for any of it.
i think her husband still wishes i would disappear, but i also think he knows i'm not going away any time soon. laugh.
in all of this, all the other mental health professionals have come and gone. i have been the only one to stick it out through thick and thin.
to her credit, she is much more asertive now, caries out all the things she has to do, even though it is extremely hard emotionally and physically. i admire that in her.
i guess that is why this guyconsiders me part of the interdisciplinary team.
writing this little summary has been very good, as a matter of fat, good for me. i can take pride in what i've beenable to accomplish with her.
i don't think i would ever, will eer, handle another case like this again. it is just too drainingmentally and emotionally.
there is a long way ahead, a lot of work to do, but ther is a certain light t the end of the tunnel. finally, this family is going to get the help they need and deserve.
Tziporah
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
i ran a search on the ivillage msb and it turns out that there is no msb specifically geared towards anger control. there are a lot of things here: depression, anxiety, phobias, etc., but nothing specifically on anger. i was a bit surprised, but not too much.
what came up were a lot of entries about anger in relation to something else, like:
anger with a spouse
anger at family members
anger over some life situation
anger over news events or articles
and so on
but nothing specifically geared towards anger control, which is what i'm really looking for.
anger is as much as an emotion as any other, like depression.
i guess you could say that other emotions, like loneliness, also get lost in the shuffle.
or boredom.
i guess there can't be a msb for every single emotion.
yet, i think, there are a lot of people who have real trouble controlling their anger, like me.
i would write the ivillage team, but the last time i tried using the contact form, i was unable to complete the form. they have this thing where you are supposed to copy in an ecrypted letter/number code. i couldn't do it and they had no audio alternative.
i wrote to customer service about it, as well, as talked about it on the visual impairment msb, but i don't think anything came of it.
maybe they've put one in since then.
anyway, i guess i'll go back to google and look for an msb somewhere else.
in the meantime, gloves are off and i bit a cuticle. a little upset i couldn't find what i was looking for.
tziporah
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
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