Belated Welcome, Shavtay2007

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Belated Welcome, Shavtay2007
1100
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 10:32am

Hi Tziporah,


I am so sorry that this is such a belated welcome to you. I've been absent from the board for nearly a month - so many things have been happening in my life that it was difficult to also come here. The good news is that life has somewhat calmed down (but I'm still crossing my fingers and my toes), which means that I'm back on iVillage.


I am so very happy to see you here, participating and sharing in our conversations! I hope that we'll get to know each other better in the coming weeks.


Welcome again!


(PS: I love the sound of your name!)


Please visit these other great message boards:
Cranio-Facial Abnormalities
In Vitro (IVF)



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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
Tue, 12-13-2011 - 12:58am
Hi Karen, Glad you got a therapy session. I hope it will ease the pressure and stress. you've been through a lot, so be easy on yourself. i know you'd tell me the same thing, if it was a reverse situation and i was where you are. I'm functioning. Sleep cycle totally out of sync. Sleep a lot during the day and then toss and turn at night. Still managing to get a lot done--or at least, the important things done. This exercise of keeping a daily schedule really lets me see how much time I sleep, how much time I work, how much time I do other things, etc. still haven't started exercising yet. somehow, that's still very hard for me to do. Fingers? well, so-so. right hand in better shape than the left hand. went to that circumcision celebration on Sunday. there were a few people I talked to. sat at a table with other women who were also not talking too much to anyone, so I wasn't the only one in that position. glad I overcame my initial impulse not to go and went. it was good to get out into the sun. tired. feel like going back to sleep. will probably do some work first. there's a funeral today for someone who was an important member in our synagogue. may go--partly to honor him, partly to just get out again. i know it's important to do that--get out of the house. Tziporah
Tziporah
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
Avatar for nawleansdarlin
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-1999
Tue, 12-13-2011 - 12:52pm

Hi Tziporah,

I'm so stressed out today that I am a mess.

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Avatar for nawleansdarlin
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-1999
Tue, 12-13-2011 - 9:33pm

Hi Tziporah,

I feel so much better after my therapy session.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
Wed, 12-14-2011 - 11:50am
Hi Karen, I'm so glad that therapy was helpful and gave you some perspective and practical options to consider. Your worries are legitimate--especially your husband's MS and the long-term prospects for his job and for you finding one--if that is in your plans. As for me, after much swinging back-and-fourth, whether to go or not to go, I ended up going to this funeral. Mostly, because I realized that a lot of people would be there and it would probably look odd if I wasn't in attendance--as this was the funeral of a well-known person in the community. Some people were surprised that I was indeed there. I mean--people are already used to me not showing up for a lot of community events. I wasn't insulted by their comments--just acknowledged them. The ceremony took about an hour-and-a-half. In fact, because I had a lot of things to do yesterday--Tuesday--the day of this funeral--I didn't sleep at all in the morning--which is something I've gotten into the habit of doing. So, by five o'clock in the afternoon, after coming home, eating lunch, and giving my class, I was very tired and fell into a deep sleep for about three hours. then I got up and spent the evening reading. that was okay, except I then couldn't fall asleep again most of the night. which meant that this morning I ended up sleeping for four hours, and took another nap in the afternoon when Shabtai went to take his nap--I like being with him--which means I'm sleeping way too much. but then, I don't have that much to do. and that's my ongoing problem. too much time, too little to do, and the chores I should do--except for the necessities which have to be done--like cooking and cleaning the kitchen, do very little of the deeper chores, such as clutter control. I know I should get out of the house more and Tuesday provided that chance. but that doesn't happen every day. even making that decision to go to the funeral was really hard. it was so tempting to just stay home in my nightgown. though, of course, after I had made the effort, I felt better within myself. today I could have gone with Shabtai to the clinic where he was to have an ultrasound done on his knee. in fact, he would have liked me to come and said as much. still, somehow, I couldn't bring myself to go with him and fell asleep soon after he left. if I had gone with him, even if I would have gone to sleep after coming back, it would have been for less time. so I know the cause of this ongoing boredom is the fact that I'm awake at night, which forces me to sleep during the day. but also that it's due to boredom. and I don't know how to solve that. i've talked about it in therapy. he said I should get a job. right! as if they're just floating down from the sky waiting to be snatched up. fingers in so-so shape. still picking at them sometimes during the day and at night when lying awake in bed. taking my meds regularly. still haven't started to exercise yet, although I still think about it. Tziporah
Tziporah
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
Avatar for nawleansdarlin
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-1999
Fri, 12-16-2011 - 12:35am

Hi Tziporah,

I understand the ongoing boredom quite well.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
Sun, 12-18-2011 - 1:23am
Hi Karen, I take it as a compliment that you think I'm the only one who really understands what you're going through. I feel the same way. I think we really match in many ways. I have gotten a lot from each CL that's been here. Poppy and I used to have great discussions on tons of things besides si--like the fact that she's Muslim and I'm Jewish. It was really interesting. Anyway, I'm glad you've got a handle on things, that you found a good therapist--bonus: walking distance, as you said, from home. Last night, after the guests who were here had left, I also just wanted to get into bed with Shabtai. sometimes we do that just to relax and it's really nice. lol. well, right hand is healing, while left hand is still messy. actually, 2nd and 5th fingerof left hand healing, 1st finger, so-so, and 3rd and 4th fingers messy. on the right hand, 1st finger so-so while others are healing. so it's not great, but getting better. you and i are opposites when it comes to weight. you need to gain and i need to lose. Shabtai has now started on abstaining from sugar and anything sugary--that contains it--no more ice cream, no more cake, cookies, etc. it seems that his doctor and one of his physical therapists told him that sugar could be the cause of his recurring foot inflamations. when he gets them, he gets a high fever--which is dangerous for transplant recipients, and his foot gets red and inflamed, which means he has to stay at home in bed for a few days and on antibiotics. he's heard this before dozens of times, but this time has really taken it seriously. the alternative is to get an antibiotic injection every month, which he would like to avoid. so, as a result, he's started tolose weight slowly, which is okay with me--slow and safe. so, i'm also trying to avoid the sugary stuff. occasionally i do have a piece of cake, but i've actually started to lose a little weight also, and people are noticing it. so that makes me feel good. maybe by the time my folks come next year i'll have really shed some pounds. i've been struggling with thisfor years. i can't believe how committed Shabtai is to doing this, but he really is, and he's really firm on sticking to thisno-sugar thing. it can be a struggle to put on weight, just as much as it is to take it off, so you have my moral support. i actually like all the foods you have to eat, so i wouldn't have a problem. i'm saying that, because you said you feel like you're in "prison" with this diet. are you allowed to eat fruits and veggies and meat? or is that off-limits? as far as boredom, well, it's a chronic problem with me. my t. has suggested volunteering, and that's where i draw a blank. i sometimes read stuff from the Gutenberg Project, and they have options there for volunteers. that would interest me, but then it would just keep me even more glued to the computer than I already am, so i'm not sure if that's really something I should be doing. still, when my t. says to volunteer for something, I draw a blank. nothing really interests me. and as far as finding a job--well, totally blank on that one as well. slept better last night. didn't think I would, because I was a bit agitated before I went to sleep. I had been trying to get linked into something on the internet and couldn't do it. finally quit in frustration. but I did fall asleep--surprise. should start exercising again, but still don't really feel inspired to do so. i'm now trying to work according to a schedule, so that I get everything I need to get done completed. i could see why a reception job would be a good job--a lot of contact with people. if that's what you like doing, then do it. going to rest a bit. got a doctor's appointment today with Shabtai. we're both anxious about it--we want to know what's really going on with his knee. every physio we have seen has a different story. I also know what you mean about getting familiar with MS. before Shabtai had his kidney failure, I didn't know where the kidney was in the body, let alone what its functions is. Well, you learn quickly when your spouse has a medical problem. lol. Karen, you've been going through a lot, so I could see why you had a nervous breakdown. thankfully, you were able to control it and get help. it means you are stronger now than you were the previous time. Tziporah
Tziporah
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
Avatar for nawleansdarlin
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-1999
Mon, 12-19-2011 - 3:42pm

Hi Tziporah!

It is good to hear from you and so many questions.

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Avatar for nawleansdarlin
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-1999
Thu, 12-22-2011 - 8:02pm

Happy Hanukkah, Tziporah.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
Wed, 01-04-2012 - 12:55am
Hi Karen, Thanks for your holiday message. A belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and yours. they finally figured out Shabtai's problem at physical therapy--one of the muscles in his thigh above his knee isn't strong enough and that's why he feels off-balance when he tries going up and down steps. now that they've figured that out, the therapy is more specifically targetted toward this problem and we're starting to see some improvement. slow gradual improvement. Shabtai is very motivated to succeed and his physio said that was very positive. she's a good therapist, so we're lucky in that respect. we see the same person each time we go. as for me, right now fingers are pretty messy. sore fingers on both hands. yes, there have been times when both hands have been totally healed. when i finally get to that point, i think--this time it's going to be different, better, that i'm finally going to break through and keep them okay ONCE-AND-FOR-ALL! of course, that's my downfall, because usually in a day or two after i've gotten to that point, something triggers a restart and i slowly decline. then i hate myself. of course, when my hands are a mess, i feel really ashamed and embarrassed--especially in public. sometimes i think i should stop therapy--don't have that much to talk about. then something will happen and i realize i do have a lot to talk about. lol. so i'm staying with it. the changes now are slower and perhaps the work is deeper, or more subtle. funny, yesterday i had a dream in which i had gone back to my first therapist, who i really liked and respected a lot. i like and respect all my therapists--otherwise, i couldn't work with them, but this one was really special. anyway, in this dream he tells me there are two therapists he wants me to consider seeing. one is a woman social worker who lives close by and the other is a man who lives some distance away. interestingly enough, the male therapist has the same name as my own t. my therapist also has a Hebrew name, which is the name I address him with, but on his call machine he uses his English name--he lives in Canada when we converse over the phone. I met him when he was still in Israel, and of course, while he was here, he used his Hebrew name. anyway, in the dream, the woman is very talkative and the man totally ignores me--just leaves without even saying a word. i then tell my first therapist that i wouldn't choose him because he totally disregarded the fact i was blind--just leaving and not letting me know he was doing that. then i started to ask the social worker why i should choose her. after all, i am already seeing a therapist i've been with for ten years. why should i suddenly go elsewhere? won't I have to go through the whole rigamarole all over again? she says that one session of review should take care of it. i don't know how that dream came up, but it did. i'm trying to figure it out, what it means. anyway, my hands are pretty messy and i'm not even trying to make them better right now. taking it day by day. have had a pretty relaxing week, reading a lot, which i am enjoying right now. still not exercising at all. still don't feel like it. maybe it's good to take a little vacation, as long as i don't get lazy about it. anyway, i'm meeting my obligations, so i guess i'm doing okay. Tziporah
Tziporah
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
Avatar for nawleansdarlin
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-1999
Wed, 01-04-2012 - 11:02am

Hi Tziporah,

I went two days straight without any anxiety.

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