Belated Welcome, Shavtay2007

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Belated Welcome, Shavtay2007
1100
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 10:32am

Hi Tziporah,


I am so sorry that this is such a belated welcome to you. I've been absent from the board for nearly a month - so many things have been happening in my life that it was difficult to also come here. The good news is that life has somewhat calmed down (but I'm still crossing my fingers and my toes), which means that I'm back on iVillage.


I am so very happy to see you here, participating and sharing in our conversations! I hope that we'll get to know each other better in the coming weeks.


Welcome again!


(PS: I love the sound of your name!)


Please visit these other great message boards:
Cranio-Facial Abnormalities
In Vitro (IVF)



Avatar for nawleansdarlin
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-1999
Sun, 02-19-2012 - 9:14pm

Hi Tziporah!

I'm so glad you came before the board closed down.

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Avatar for cmkarla
Administrator
Registered: 01-03-2001
Wed, 02-22-2012 - 11:24am

Hi Tziporah,

I'm Karla, the community moderator, and I just wanted to let you know that your thread has been successfully moved. :-)

Karla
Community ModeratoriVillage.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
Mon, 03-12-2012 - 8:08am
Thanks for letting me know. I'm back now, after a break. Tziporah
Tziporah
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
Wed, 03-14-2012 - 3:59pm
Hi Everyone, My name is Tziporah. My long-running thread: "belated welcome" has been going since 2007. I used to write on the self-injury board until it closed. When I get anxious/depressed/worried, I harm myself by picking at my fingers until they bleed--not a classic form of si, but one nonetheless. Since Karen, the cl of that board, moved here, she graciously was able to get my thread transferred as well. I hope others will also share with me, and I will also try to share my thoughts on other threads as well. Briefly, just before the si msb closed, I was facing a lot of important issues and feeling quite anxious about all of them. My sister, whom I haven't seen in more than ten years, was about to pay a visit; my husband had a lot of medical issues to deal with; and I had just stopped long-term therapy with a therapist I had worked with since 2001. Well, here's the update from that point on. My sister's visit, as you might suspect/expect, turned out much better than I thought it would. Most of the anxiety was overexaggerated, something my therapist says is usually the case. Orf course there were some tense moments, particularly when she had comments to make about my housekeeping. That is a very sensitive point because my mother always criticizes my housekeeping. At least my sister had the good sense to prelude her remarks with something like: "This is only a suggestion--not a criticism." Still, I found myself thinking she was/is just like my mother. Sometimes she would act like I was a kid who didn't know anything. Once we had a scuffle and she left in a huff. (She was sleeping in my mother-in-law's vacant apartment, something we had arranged beforehand so she and my husband and I could have private time.) Of course, after she left I began hating myself--I always do this. The visit starts well, then I "lose it", blow up, have a fight, and then hate myself for it. Why do I always revert to this pattern? Fortunately, my sister said we should "kiss and make up", which we both did. Otherwise, we had a very nice visit. I thought she'd be bored, because my lifestyle, and that of my sister, are quite different. In the end, if she was bored, she didn't show it. We also had a big family meal with my husband's family which was quite enjoyable. On the medical front, there are a lot of issues involved, but this week we finally found an open-minded doctor who is willing to consider some short-term and long-term options. I don't have the time to go into all of it now, but we're feeling much more hopeful than previously. My husband has found a physiotherapist that specializes in medical issues related to his problem, he's now considering a new orthopedic device that should help him walk unaided, and the doctor waws willing to consider surgery in the future if some of the problems with his feet can be solved. His feet swell up quite a bit and the skin is very irritated--these things would make surgery more complicated. Finally, my cuticles. a real bloody mess. I'm disgusted with myself but continue to pickat all of them anyway. They haven't been this bad for quite a long time. Well, just wanted all of you to know I'm back on the board and hopefully will have a chance soon to get more involved. Tziporah
Tziporah
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
Avatar for nawleansdarlin
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-1999
Thu, 03-15-2012 - 2:02pm

I'm thrilled you are back Tziporah!

I'm glad to hear that your sister's visit went well.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
Sun, 03-18-2012 - 1:40pm
Hi Karen, Sounds like we're going through similar things--the medical bureaucracy. In my case, it involves getting payment for this new kind of physical therapy Shabtai just started. Even if we do get payment for it, which we probably will get, they only allow for a certain number of sessions and that's it. Just like psychotherapy--12 sessions and that's all. Hardly enough to make more than a dent. Shabtai's feet were neglected for so long, they are quite swoolen and will need more than just a few sessions. It's scandalous, but not uncommon, how many doctors and hospital personnel made note of his feet and their poor state of affairs, but failed to recommend anything. Finally, last week, we found a doctor who actually made sound recommendations. But this new kind of physical therapy, which attempts to open the blocked lymph nodes--which is causing is feet to swell--was advised by the orthopedic supplier who is constructing this walkingdevice. he just happens to be medically savvy and knowledgeable. Besides the therapy itself, which is costly, there is also the special dressing that needs to be put on his legs--some kind of plastic layered thing which is supposed to keep slight pressure on the feet--so that after the therapy the legs won't swell again. Of course, that involves more approval slips from the medical people. Plus, we're hoping the insurance will cover the cost for this orthopedic device--not cheap either. Saving grace--my dad said he'll help us out--but he's done so much for us already, I don't want to have to ask him for more. If there is no other way, we will, of course. I talked to the social security system here to see if we could get some help as well. Of course, everything requires interviews, medical certification from doctors, months of waiting, etc. So, you have my understanding. Karen--surprised to hear you are thinking of going back to New Orrleans. I thought you liked Dallas, especially the fact that there's a great hospital that treats MS in your area. Of course, things change, and it's always nice to be with family, especially when there are medical complications. If you do move, will this complicate your being able to get government assistance? Your mil's surgery--not surprised they're sending her home even though they don't know why she's bleeding. As Shabtai's physical therapist explains to us over and over again: "the medical system doesn't want to pay for anything, and if they have to pay for hospitalization/insurance/therapy, etc., they make it for as short as time, or as few sessions as possible--not always in the best interest of the patient." Why am I picking at my cuticles? Good question. Don't have an easy answer. But this is the thought that comes to mind--when I'm busy with Shabtai, running around to the clinics with him, or hassling for his reimbursements--which is something I generally handle myself--I'm busy. What will happen when all of this busyness ends? Also, very anxious about just how much this business is really going to cost us? Everything is just plain expensive--and that's because it's specialized therapy, specialized treatment aidss and accessories, etc. I told somebody today that to be sick you've got to be rich. Also, hoping that this custom-made device will really be a good solution for him. Soomething he'll be able to use. Not a bust like the previous device. This one is much more expensive, so the loss, if------- I think that's the first time Ivoiced this fear to anyone. I know you're busy. Write when you can.
Tziporah
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
Avatar for nawleansdarlin
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-1999
Sun, 03-18-2012 - 11:05pm
Hi Tziporah, I just wanted to check in with you. My mom arrived today with my aunt, her best friend since they were kids. They grew up together, went to the same schools, they call eachother once a week still. My aunt lost her husband suddenly a month ago. He was in an accident 30 years ago and lost both his legs. He had 30 years of complications and won a lot of money in a law suit. It was the only way they could afford his treatments. My aunt is pretty independent and definitely has the gypsy spirit. She really can't still for long. I saw them both today but my mom wants to see me alone tomorrow. I hope that is good. You do have to be rich to be really ill. I understand the stress you are under. Being busy is a good thing for me too these days. Maybe we should take up darts or pillow punching. Good luck on that new equipment. They make these things sound like magic. It's late and I'm off to bed. Karen

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
Tue, 03-20-2012 - 10:35am
Hi Karen, I don't know about darts or punching pillows, but I was ready to pound some tables this morning. Shabtai's physio said he was denied coverage for his treatment from the sick fund. So I was getting ready to see his general doc, rather the replacement for his general doc--the regular doc is on vacation and someone is subbing for him. that was yesterday. today when we went for his therapy, the physio told us she had just received word that he's been given 12 sessions. then we'll have to reapply. by then our regular family doc should be back--he's very good actually and very familiar with my husband's medical history. in the meantime, I got a fax from another doctor supporting our request for this kind of treatment. each session is about $75, all of which we've been paying up till now. Also, he'll need special dresings for his feet and they aren't cheap either. about $300. and we'll only get some of that back for this item. about 80 per cent ack. shouldn't complain, but I feel like the money is slipping through our fingers. As far as this new device, Shabtai is now starting to voice some concerns about it--will it really work? I keep saying: "I hope we didn't shell out xxxxxx amount of money for nothing." believe me, it ain't cheap. I guess that's our biggest worry right now, but I was hoping Shabtai wouldn't voice his fears--the same ones I have--that this machine/device will be a useless extravagant expense. I was surprised when he finally admitted it. Why can't I tell him I'm also anxious? because I want to bolster his confidence that it will indeed be useful. Cuticles a mess. Not all of them. but some pretty bad. Good luck with your mom. let me know how it goes when you have the time. Tziporah
Tziporah
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
Avatar for nawleansdarlin
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-1999
Fri, 03-23-2012 - 7:53pm

Hi Tziporah,

Sending you huge hugs.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
Mon, 03-26-2012 - 7:28am
Hi Karen, We really are in the same boat--or very similar boats--both traveling on the same sea, so to speak. Getting shots every day--that reminds me of when I did IVF--those shots were killers. Every day there were at least two of them. From what I remember, shots in the stomach are actually not that painful. Shots in your behind, arms, thighs, everywhere else, are much worse. Anyway, having to go through it every day is no fun, that's for sure. I'm assuming, from your message, this is an ongoing thing. Right? Well, a lot of treatments are like that. Take, for example, dialysis. Three hours on the machine with needles stuck into your veins. Shabtai went through that till he got his transplant. Thankfully, his current therapy isn't painful, but it is expensive! He's getting what is called: lymphedemic drainage therapy, a kind of massage treatment that is supposed to cause the excess water in his legs to go up towards the heart and then get released from the body. It takes about an hour to do. Plus, he has to wear these special dressings that are supposed to keep the bloating from returning after the therapy ends. It's actually a layered kind of thing. First comes a fishnet-like stocking. On top of that there is a puffy sort of sponge--but it's not really a sponge. It reminds me of those special plastic bags that things are packed in--the one with all those little balls to protect the packed item. On top of that comes a phone rubber kind of material. On top of that comes a soft kind of gauze. Each layer of material is wrapped around the leg from the foot up to the knee. Anyway, when it's not hot out, it's not a big hassle, but one tends to feel warm after wearing it for awhile. As for this new machine, we're still waiting for it to arrive. Supposedly, it's going to come before Passover. You probably know, Passover is a big thing in the Jewish community--everyone gets together. Shabtai said if someone won't take him up to his sister's in the wheelchair, he'd rather just stay at home. Trying to rise up above the money mess, but it's very hard. A lot of money being paid for everything and reimbursements, when they come, will be total for some things, partial for others. Went to the sick fund today. They said our first payment will come in at least a month. And our application for coverage for this new device won't even be processed until May, and then it will have to undergo consideration before approval. Meanwhile, we are trying to get in increase in social security, and of course that can take a few months, and might or might not be approved. Shabtai going between moods of anger, depression and despair. I can totally see where your husband is coming from. Work is so basic to the self-image of a man. Just like motherhood is central to a woman. It defines their self-image. As for myself, I feel ashamed that I can't make ends meet, really can't work, have to ask my parents for help, especially when they've helped so much already. Plus this therapy Shabtai's getting--you only get a certain amount of treatments and then you have to re-apply all over again. So many things have changed: Shabtai's accident, his father's death, other things in the comunity--everyone is going through a hard time it seems. Shabtai's rabbi is also seriously ill. Everything is just falling apart. I love the internet, but that's getting expensive too. Ditto for the cell phone. Although, to be honest, Shabtai uses the cell much more than I do and it costs us more than the internet. How then, in this state of affairs, can I share my doubts/anxieties about this new machine with him?--Will it work or not? Will it be just one more money guzzler or will it really work and give him a fighting chance at independence? Not to mention his hope of eventually undergoing an operation? In many ways, it feels very much like the days when he was on dialysis. Waiting for release, redemption. Fingers are so-so. Glad I can write to you. Wouldn't be able to share this with anyone here. Shabtai feels bad he has to let me hear him go through his anger/depression. I tell him: "that's what I'm here for." Only thing that's really helping me right is reciting Psalms. Karen, from what you said, I can see why you want to move back to New Orleans. Probably a smart move. Going for yet another job feels like chasing the wind and I can see why your husband wanted it and why you opposed it. Nothing's perfect. Just doing the best we can--one day at a time. Feeling no connection with my former friends. Feel "dead" a lot of the time. Just staying at home with Shabtai. His regular study groups are on vacation for Passover--a month long. I love being at home with him. Tziporah
Tziporah
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com