Belated Welcome, Shavtay2007

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Belated Welcome, Shavtay2007
1100
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 10:32am

Hi Tziporah,


I am so sorry that this is such a belated welcome to you. I've been absent from the board for nearly a month - so many things have been happening in my life that it was difficult to also come here. The good news is that life has somewhat calmed down (but I'm still crossing my fingers and my toes), which means that I'm back on iVillage.


I am so very happy to see you here, participating and sharing in our conversations! I hope that we'll get to know each other better in the coming weeks.


Welcome again!


(PS: I love the sound of your name!)


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Cranio-Facial Abnormalities
In Vitro (IVF)



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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 09-12-2007 - 12:00pm

I know that Rosh Hashana celebrations start today, so I wanted to send you my best wishes for the holidays. May the year to come be filled with lots of good things as well as healing.

I have to catch up with your posts and will do so in a few days when you are back.

You are in my thoughts and prayers, Tziporah.

Hugs,


Please visit these other great message boards:
Interracial and Interfaith Relationships



iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2005
Wed, 09-12-2007 - 3:23pm
I'm glad you are at a point where you are ready to deal with these things Tziporah. Happy Rosh Hasahana. Talk to you soon.

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Amanda

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
Tue, 09-18-2007 - 12:16am
thanks for the encouragement.
Tziporah
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
Tue, 09-18-2007 - 12:42am
riumphs. after a lot of struggle and anguish at not getting it, i finally figured out to use this board with the new options. i like simplicity. the old way was much better. Tziporah
thanks for the encouragement. i know you like triumphs. after struggling for days, i finally figured out how to write on this board. to be honest, the old way was much easier. i like simplicity--not having to wade through tons of options i don't want or need.
anyway, in therapy i'm working on the heavy stuff. a lot of the time i'm tense and anxious. i have a lot of pai in my shoulders and neck. a lot of stress and anxiety. during the holiday break, i rested--did a lot of relaxation. but since being back at home, i've been very tense. i've bitten my nails again and mostly resisted cutting my hair. i still have a lot of doubts and negative thoughts--trying to combat them, challenge them. also trying to get more relaxed by going into the alpha state. another therapy brek coming again because of more holidays. it's just not the right time for a break. i hate this on-again, off-again rhythm. even though it's hard, the steady flow is better. this on-again, off-again thing just adds tensions. i find talking about the issues in therapy helps, even though it's painful. then i think about what we've discussed and i try to come to some clarity and conclusions about it. i'm so tense right now. Tziporah
Tziporah
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2005
Tue, 09-18-2007 - 12:12pm

((((Tziporah))))


I'm sorry to

Amanda

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 09-18-2007 - 1:03pm

What browser do you use? I was going to suggest using Mozilla Firefox, but then again, changing browsers would be more of a complication especially if you are getting used to the new format.

Before I forget. Remember the article about the Dutch guy who devised a cure for nail biting? What if you went to the dentist to get a mouth guard? My dentist wanted to fit me with a mouth guard to sleep with at night (because I grind my teeth, and I know that I've been doing so a lot lately because of stress). I don't know if that'll work for you. Do you have a problem with the dentist?

You were talking about a coach who is also a yoga instructor? Have you started with him yet? Have you decided that this is a safe option for you to discover (the yoga, I mean). That might help with the tension in the shoulder and neck. It took me a few months, but the yoga stretches is what eventually relieved me of very tense neck and shoulders. It had been painful for decades. I think it all kind of happened at the same time. Yoga helped me to release the tension, and also some surplus pain I was carrying inside. After that, I was finally able to work on my traumatic past.

Is there a way we can help you short of sending the massage lady to you?

Will your therapist be there when your parents are visiting? Have you thought of what you can do when you need to get away from the tension?

Hugs,


Please visit these other great message boards:
Interracial and Interfaith Relationships



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
Thu, 09-20-2007 - 11:27pm
well, i finally figured it out. big sigh. this whole message board thing was not easy for me. it brought up a flood of emotions. before the Rosh Hashanah break it was the old format, fun and familiar. i come back after a few days and boom--a whole new format with a lot of extras i don't want or need and the inability to get into it to write. you have no idea how much time i spent trying to figure it out--my normal procedure--hours. and i bit my nails along the way and felt extra tension in my shoulders and neck. anxiety. was this going to work or be another failed attempt? my therapist worked on this one, just like he does on everything else. he asked, "how much time are you going to expend negative energy on things? why can't you just ask for help?" more dissection into the meaning of that, as you can imagine. i don't particularly like having to ask for help, admit defeat, admit failure. it's all tied up in a lot of underlying stuff i don't want to go into now. anyway, i finally admitted i wasn't getting anywhere, not on this msb or in another endeavor i was working on. i admitted to myself i needed the help and wrote the customer service on ivillage. they replied quickly and sent some options which were not on the ivillage tour guide page. i tried them and--magic, it works! lesson: i could have saved myself all this anger and agony and si if i had done this a lot earlier.
so much for pride.
i had to laugh when you said my massage lady is a she and my yoga coachis a he. you got it backwards. my coach is a she and the massage lady is my physio--a he. i'm reading a lot about alternative healing techniques like emotional freedom technique (eft) and have heard about cranial electrostimulation therapy (ces) which is supposed to change the electrotransmitters in the brain. also about going into alpha states. i am more interested in trying these, than going back to the physio. if it gets bad enough, though, i may do that. i'm feeling more stress now. deeper therapy. parents coming soon.
i may consider the mouth guard. but it's not just that i bite my cuticles--which i do, of course, but i also pick at them with my other fingernails. the mouth guard won't help there. i need the gloves.
i'm not afraid of the dentist--too much treatment with root canal and crowns to be afraid of that anymore. i'm a pro at sitting in the chair, whether it's the dentist chair, gynecology chair, therapy chair... get the idea?
during the holiday break, i did a lot of relaxation and i let my cuticles heal. then, this week, with all the anxiety, i made them a mess again. now that i've figured out some of the solutions to the problems that caused the anxiety, i feel better and am probably starting on another upturn swing. i hope so.
it's not that my therapist is on break. he isn't. it's just that the Jewish holidays come out on days we have meetings. he's also observant. so there's little that can be done about it. but don't worry. he's making the most of the sessions we do have--and so am i--which is probably more crucial. and, of course, once this period is over, it will be the regular schedule. he makes insights and comments and i have to struggle with almost every one. it's very hard work. still, i've decided to stop playing around and really work on the most sensitive topics. i can't avoid them forever. Tziporah
thanks for the encouragement. i know you like triumphs. after struggling for days, i finally figured out how to write on this board. to be honest, the old way was much easier. i like simplicity--not having to wade through tons of options i don't want or need.
anyway, in therapy i'm working on the heavy stuff. a lot of the time i'm tense and anxious. i have a lot of pai in my shoulders and neck. a lot of stress and anxiety. during the holiday break, i rested--did a lot of relaxation. but since being back at home, i've been very tense. i've bitten my nails again and mostly resisted cutting my hair. i still have a lot of doubts and negative thoughts--trying to combat them, challenge them. also trying to get more relaxed by going into the alpha state. another therapy brek coming again because of more holidays. it's just not the right time for a break. i hate this on-again, off-again rhythm. even though it's hard, the steady flow is better. this on-again, off-again thing just adds tensions. i find talking about the issues in therapy helps, even though it's painful. then i think about what we've discussed and i try to come to some clarity and conclusions about it. i'm so tense right now. Tziporah
Tziporah
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-02-2005
Fri, 09-21-2007 - 12:21am

Sorry to hear of all the anxiety you've been going through and the problems adjusting to the new board features.


I'm glad you had a little chance to heal before the anxiety came back and you started at your cuticles again.


For me therapy is not ideal either. I came back from holidays to find that my pdoc no longer worked there. I've tried her cell and her Richmond Hill office and she hasn't called me. So I made an appointment with the tdoc that I was seeing at school before I started seeing her. There are two problems with this. One, I'm not as comfortable with her and two, I only get to see her once a month. I only saw her yesterday and already I'm having issues. I could go to Richmond Hill to see my old pdoc that I love, but it would be a long and axiety provoking bus and train ride, still at this point the anxiety and depression are threatening to drag me down so I feel like I might not have the choice.


Sorry to go on about me. I'm glad things with your therapist will get back to a regular routine after holidays.


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Amanda

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sat, 09-22-2007 - 7:24am

Tziporah, do you write in WordPad or NotePad then copy and paste> Because there's a bit, a the very end of your posts, that is actually an old post of your and that sticks to your new posts.

Dear friend, I know you know this, and that your resistance to asking for help comes from your difficulty in accepting the fact that you are visually impaired, but remind yourself that *everyone* stumbles across problems especially if these are technological ones. Dear friend, I find it incredibly amazing how you do manage to navigate on the sites. Whoever told you or made you feel less than intelligent or accomplished or able because you had lost your sight simply just does not understand and appreciate you. And I have an inkling that you might not appreciate in full all of your accomplishments. Tziporah, you are one of the most interesting and intriguing persons that I have ever met online. You know so many things, and you have a way about talking to people!

It's not shameful to ask for help. It never was, it never is. It doesn't deduct points from what you are as a person. It doesn't mean defeat or failure. It just means that you don't know yet how to do something, or that you don't have certain information in order to be able to proceed on your own, or that you just need some direction. You are placing such high standards for yourself. High standards are good - I approve. But when they are impossibly high, and when we are too stubborn in not asking for help, then it works against us instead of with us. Know what I mean?

Did I say the massage lady was a she and the coach a he? Maybe! LOL! My friend's mom does EFT. She suggested it to me years ago but she was in England and I was in Italy.

Today at belly dancing class I realized that not only was I tired (late night out last night and not such great sleep) but I was keeping a lot of tension in my neck and shoulders. Result: it was painful to do any kind of arm movements. And when I do snake arms my left arm looks completely out of place with the rest of my body, as though it didn't belong. Sigh. So for the nest two weeks I am going to practice my snake arms and I an also going to do a bit of yoga to relax myself and let go of the tension and sadness and fear that I pick up at the radiation therapy clinic. At least my knees were holding up this week.

Oh, I wanted to describe the survivor sigs should you happen to read that thread. Is a very pretty signature in two sizes. In the middle, in a soft shade of purple, are the words "I am a survivor". On the top left, there's the word "hope" in gold. On the top right, there's "courage" in light green. On the bottom left, there's "strength" in light bluish purple. On the bottom right there's "determination" in light blue. There's a star fish kind of drawing just above the words "I am a survivor". I don't want you to miss out on anything.

Lots of hugs, Tziporah.



iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
Sun, 09-23-2007 - 4:43am
it's after Yom Kippur now. again, i went to a friend's for the day and it was good to get away. quiet, rested, slept, went to prayers. came back feeling better.
my thoughts about your therapist: and i think most professionals would agree on this: if you have issues with a therapist, for whatever reason, and whether the reason is sound or silly, don't get involved with them. therapy is hard enough, especially with the normal therapy principles of transference, resistance, and the areas of work themselves, without having to add on a problem over "issues". my therapy situation isn't ideal either. i have to call overseas--an expense--and i have to get up early in the morning, 4:30, 5:30, and it's hard to have therapy right after you wake up. but i stick with it, because even though he's a ---, i mean, he's aggressive and makes me work for every bit of it, i get results. so, even though it's inconvenient, go with the t. who's going to give you the best results, not a second choice that's not what you need. i think i told you my t. works in Richmond Hill. if you are still interested, i can ask him if he's taking on new cases. like i said, he makes me work hard, but if i had to refer someone to a t., i would present him as a referral. Tziporah
thanks for the encouragement. i know you like triumphs. after struggling for days, i finally figured out how to write on this board. to be honest, the old way was much easier. i like simplicity--not having to wade through tons of options i don't want or need.
anyway, in therapy i'm working on the heavy stuff. a lot of the time i'm tense and anxious. i have a lot of pai in my shoulders and neck. a lot of stress and anxiety. during the holiday break, i rested--did a lot of relaxation. but since being back at home, i've been very tense. i've bitten my nails again and mostly resisted cutting my hair. i still have a lot of doubts and negative thoughts--trying to combat them, challenge them. also trying to get more relaxed by going into the alpha state. another therapy brek coming again because of more holidays. it's just not the right time for a break. i hate this on-again, off-again rhythm. even though it's hard, the steady flow is better. this on-again, off-again thing just adds tensions. i find talking about the issues in therapy helps, even though it's painful. then i think about what we've discussed and i try to come to some clarity and conclusions about it. i'm so tense right now. Tziporah
Tziporah
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com

Pages