Belated Welcome, Shavtay2007
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Belated Welcome, Shavtay2007
| Tue, 03-20-2007 - 10:32am |
Hi Tziporah,
I am so sorry that this is such a belated welcome to you. I've been absent from the board for nearly a month - so many things have been happening in my life that it was difficult to also come here. The good news is that life has somewhat calmed down (but I'm still crossing my fingers and my toes), which means that I'm back on iVillage.
I am so very happy to see you here, participating and sharing in our conversations! I hope that we'll get to know each other better in the coming weeks.
Welcome again!
(PS: I love the sound of your name!)

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Trying to regain my strength. I am feeling a little better about the visit. It has forced me to start doing the things I find the hardest--organizing among them. I t. said that although I still had not met all the therapeutic goals for the visit, there had been some goals that had been met under difficult circumstances. It was the best I could do. Considering.
Tziporah
Ps. as for skype, you can block those annoying people by going into the "do not disturb" mode. Or try "invisible".
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
While
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
cl of the Self-Injury
Amanda, I had another session yesterday. It's clear from the therapy discussions that this visit raised a lot of issues that still need to be worked on: issues of why my parents and I still have problems in our relationship, my need for their approval, their need for control over me, etc. He said that was the work I would need to do between now and then--their next visit, getting over my need for their approval. He said I still had trouble standing up to authority. True, there was some progress, but it was clear trying to always compromise for the sake of peace hadn't worked. In fact, it just got me into more complicated scenarios--such as not outright saying I didn't want to start up with doing the office now, although I would do it later. result? everything sort of snowballed and I found myself involved in a very complicated project that still has a way to go. the rennovations are done, but the sorting job is massive. I am also very tired physically and emotionally. a week after they've left and I still don't feel like I've gotten over the exhaustion. It was a hard evaluation to hear from the therapist, but I think he is right.
my psychiatrist said I could try going down to mg25 from mg30 on paxxel, a victory, but I am not sure if this is the right time. maybe better to wait until I am over the exhaustion.
mty nail-biting is up again. not a total mess, but some fingers are sore and I keep picking at them.
still, looking on the good side, finally, at long last, some of this clutter that has been laying around for years is finally getting sorted out.
Tziporah
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
Hello, again,
I looked at the date of the previous two messages. Maybe I needed a break from this board for awhile. Still, it was nice coming back and recognizing some of the names. Like coming back to a familiar house. Just settling in on the sofa for a chat.
Seeing familiar faces, and some new ones, here as well. Some catching up to do with what everyone has been up to.
As you will note, I didn't waste any time putting my two cents in--I have already written two messages today. Laugh. At least I hope the two cents are worth something--especially now when money is tight. Laugh.
Seriously---
The office is up and running--the new office. A lot of sorting still to be done, but I have already done quite a lot. Over a thousand cassettes have been sorted. New shelves have been added in another room to accomodate them.
I am now ready to start converting some of the tapes to CD-ROM disks, a very long-term project, but one which will ultimately give me even more space.
I did relax during the Jewish holidays here in Oct. I needed that tremendously--very exhausted mentally, emotionally and physically from the visit right before the holidays.
I had a break from therapy during the holidays and now the regular routine has started again. Back to work.
I have also been making steady progress through coaching school and have even started to tackle the business modules. Remember how daunted I was by this one?
Well, I took a local business coach. I have now instituted a U.S. phone line. My local coach is also helping me set up a website.
Plugging away at the classwork and making good progress on it. My goal for graduating in June looks very feasible. Only one barrier has to be overcome--and it has not been an easy one for me--getting clients from outside the coaching school. Within the school itself I have been able to get clients and carry them through the minimum twelve sessions that are required. But in order to graduate I need two external clients--and I can't seem to find them. Any ideas?
My nail-biting is on-again, off-again. When I get anxious I do it.
At this point, my hands aren't terrible and not great. So-so.
As far as the haircutting, I can now go a few weeks without doing it. Then, when the hair is just starting to grow in, and I promise myself this time I will let it grow, I suddenly get this overwhelming urge to cut it off. Instead of fighting it, which is torture, I just do it. That happened again this past Monday. Now that it is short again, no problem. Sound familiar? Well, at least this time I let it grow out a little longer than any of the previous times.
I have also settled in with the reduced dose of mg25 paxxel. Last time I wrote I was just starting with that new dose. The first few weeks brought the unpleasant side effects of vivid dreams, but that hs quieted down. I sleep a little more than before, feel a tinge more depressed, but I want to stick with this dose--not go back up to mg30. For that, going back up to the previous dose, would be a failure. As long as it isn't too bad, I'll stick with it at this dose.
I am a bit depressed about the ability for me to make my coaching into a business success, especially in light of the recent money crisis. No one seems to be paying for much of anything right now. Yet there are some successful coaches making good money.
It isn't just the money, it's the need to prove to myself I can really earn money, have a business, make it succeed.
I have been thinking a lot about what money means to me--how much I need to live on, how it fits into my definition of spirituallity. I realize I could not do some of the things I do, like having many guests for the Sabbath, if I did not have a certain amount. So wanting money is not necessarily bad.
I have invested so much in so manyprojects, been told a thousand times I really have the intelligence and talen to make whatever I was involved in work. I do not say this to be conceited. It's just that, having been told this so often by my parents, teachers, and now the trainers and fellow students at coaching school, how come I can't pull it off?
I know it takes time to grow a business. It's just this one barrier I cannot seem to get over--yet, yet--as my first therapist would say. not get over, but not get over yet.
After being away for so long, I realize how much I still need the support of this board. So, I guess for the forseeable future, you'll be hearing more from me. Laugh.
Tziporah
I think Fran's story has several important lessons that we, as patients, can sometimes forget and need to remember.
First and foremost, that are therapists also have their own personal lives. Most are devoted and dedicated and try to do their best. Like the rest of us, unforseen events occur and in most instances they do try to notify those people for whom appointments have been scheduled.
I think the receptionist also learned that it is important for her to be accurate in conveying important messages such as these.
After this mishap, I believe your t. will be more careful in making sure her messages really do get through in the way she requests.
It is unfortunate that you, Fran, had to be the person in the middle of this mix-up. Hopefully, as a result of what happened, people at your clinic will be more on their toes.
It does sound like your t. went the extra mile on your behalf. Instead of giving her a hard time, perhaps a thank you for her efforts and her calling you at home would help. It will make her feel good. What's more, it will show you that you can acknowledge people for the good things they do, not only give them a hard time for their slip-ups.
One way to build up trust in people, and a necessary exercise after we have been hurt by lies, is to start acknowledging people for the good things they do.
If you are lucky enough to have this kind of compassionate, responsible t., and she sounds like one from what you have said, hold onto her for dear life. Good therapists at this level are hard to find and worth holding onto. Giving them a thank-you for their difficult job can really make their day.
On the holidays, I always inquire if my therapist had a good holiday. If something good has happened, like the birth in the family, or if something unfortunate has happened, like a funeral, and he has told me about it, I try to express my best wishes or condolences. It is common courtesy. Wouldn't we want this kind of thing for ourselves?
Tziporah
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
Congratulations on your new office - yay! I still have to figure out something for mine but it's progressing.
It's nearly always daunting when we get to a new phase - well, it is for me. I can't tell you the huge anxiety that I go through as I have to start or finish components on a project I am working on. When I am like this, I have to prod, pull and cajole myself like I would a 5 year old in order to take the next step. Not a huge one, but a tiny one. And once that is done, I remind myself that that wasn't as painful as I imagined it would be, and I prod, pull and cajole myself to the next step. I do give myself little rewards here and there, too - yes, bribery will get me somewhere lol.
Wanting money isn't bad. There is nothing wrong with that. There's a difference between wanting to pull in money into our lives and being greedy. We all have rents or mortgages, there are utilities to pay, and food to buy. From time to time we need to replace our clothes, etc. All of these need money. And earning money in exchange for our work or for the services we render to others is only fair.
Have you ever asked yourself why it would be bad if you started to earn good money for the work you would do? Why do you think you have resistance to this?
Talk to you soon, dear friend! It's so nice to read you ~ I can actually hear your voice as I read your post.
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