Belated Welcome, Shavtay2007
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Belated Welcome, Shavtay2007
| Tue, 03-20-2007 - 10:32am |
Hi Tziporah,
I am so sorry that this is such a belated welcome to you. I've been absent from the board for nearly a month - so many things have been happening in my life that it was difficult to also come here. The good news is that life has somewhat calmed down (but I'm still crossing my fingers and my toes), which means that I'm back on iVillage.
I am so very happy to see you here, participating and sharing in our conversations! I hope that we'll get to know each other better in the coming weeks.
Welcome again!
(PS: I love the sound of your name!)

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I just realized that two weeks have already past and we have not yet talked. I hope that you and your husband are find.
Today I saw a banner for Spiritual EFT - they were offering a course, I think. There were also a couple of websites that I saw here offering EFT sessions. I will wait until I read a bit more on EFT to actually go for a session with someone.
Sending you and your husband lots of good thoughts,
~ Poppy
and Everyone Else, of course,
Thanks, Poppy, for your encouraging private email. I hope I erased the mess of that message that was inadvertently carried over. Apologies to Fran about that. It was a mistake.
I hope you now see my new signature, which gives my website and blog addresses. That has been the latest development, getting a domain for my website. I am now working with a local coach to get my web up and running. So I will need a few weeks, but just having a webpage is a big step forward for me.
Thanks, Poppy, for your tips about how to get external clients.
I am also taking extra credit courses from my coaching school.
I had a tremendous win this week. I am taking a special course which teaches participants how to run teleclasses. As part of our work, we have to present a full hour teleclass with a mentor/trainer listening in. We had a chance to prepare beforehand and we had agreed on the class I would give. When it came time for the actual teleclass, it turned out we had made a mistake. The class I was supposed to give was for next week. The mentor/teacher asked if I would like to try giving the class anyway, spontaneously, and I agreed. So, unprepared, I jumped in and swam with it. Afterwards, she gaive me a very favorable critique with some constructive advice for improvement. Bottom line: out of 0-10, I scored 8!
That made my day! my week!
I've been working hard in therapy. He is really working on trying to get me to see myself as successful, instead of seeing myself as "flawed". He contends that when I am able to do this, the nail-biting will stop. He seaid, I "pick on myself emotionally by putting myself down and physically by picking at my cuticles". It is actually starting to make some sense. But it still very hard for me to talk positively about myself for even five minutes without regressing to the negative things. Okay, I am smart, but...
I have also been having a lot of pain in my eyes which is due to the narrowing of the tear ducts. I will probably need an outpatient procedure, but getting into the medical system and getting everything set up is a slow process. Sometimes, I take painkillers or just lie down and rest when it gets intolerable.
So, I have been busy, some good things and some not-so-good, like the eye problems, and that is why I have been writing less here.
Still, I am thinking of everyone here and missing you. Hoping all is well with everyone.
Thanks for all your thoughtful comments. There are no easy answers. Life is a challenge and I am trying to grow and use nail-biting and my other si tactics less often. This time I went for a week before I got anxious and bit my cuticles.
Oh, Poppy, I like what yu said in your private email about acknowledging that my new hair style is short short, instead of killing myself over trying to let it grow out and faulting myself every time I have a relapse urge to cut it again. Your approach makes much more sense. Thanks again.
Tziporah
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
Hi Tziporah!
I was so encouraged to read your post, it sounds like you're doing REALLY well with your work on the coaching business and your own work!
www.rainbowinspirations.co.uk
http://rainbowinspired.livejournal.com/
Yes, the message that you were carrying in your signature is gone, and you have your new signature. Yay!
I'm sorry to read about your eye problems. Hopefully the bureaucratic process will proceed quickly so that you can get the surgery asap. It must be painful! Do you have to use eye drops often?
Congratulations on getting such a great grade for your spontaneous teleclass! Wow! Yay! See, you DID do it. One more thing to put on Tziporah List of Successes, or Why Tzip is Perfect As She Is. I know that you have to feel and see yourself as successful, but it you ever need reminding, tell us okay. I can whip up a whole list for you.
I like short-short hair: cool during the hot summer, easy to wash and maintain. No bad hair day. No scarf hair if you are covering up, too. It's win-win for you!
Lots of hugs. I hope that you have a good Shabbath.
What an encouraging post. It sounds like you are making so much progress! Congratulations.
I was one of those people who thought about their flaws not their good qualities. Well I guess I still am to a lesser extent. I was a "ya, but" person, as in "ya this sweater is pretty, but I look fat today" or something that says I am not responsible for the thing I am being complimented on (like well I didn't even pick this sweater out). I didn't even realize it until, in high school, my guidance counsellor pointed it out, and said "can you just say thank you?" So I still find myself debating my compliments some times, but I also catch myself and stop and say thank you more and more. I can't say for certain what has made the difference, just practicing self awareness.
Keep up all the good work. I should really get on skype one of these days so we can have a call!
cl of the Self-Injury
Maybe we can even have a conference call on Skype...
((((hugs)))) Am glad you are back, Amanda. I hope you are okay! How is your friend?
cl of the Self-Injury
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!
According to my reckoning, it has been over a year since you last wrote here, if not longer.
You gave me the surprise of the day when I saw your post.
I can relate--especially the part about loving yourself vs. hating yourself.
Sounds like our therapists, each in their own way, are working on the same mindsets.
Tziporah
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
That would be really cool--having a three-way link between Amanda, you and me. I just hope my skype will cooperate. Actually, I was talking to someone yesterday and she said that skype in the Middle East is problematic. I have talked with others who have skype problems in Israel. This person said that in Egypt, her relative lives in Alexandria, there is also a skype problem. What is more, this person said that skype is actually banned in Abudabi.
So, if skype would cooperate, that would be great. Otherwise, there is always an option of trying to connet via landline--especially now that I have a U.S. line.
Anyway, Amanda, if you are interested, then perhaps the three of us can think of a time and date for a short three-way call.
Tziporah
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
What is cye?
One of these new email expressions I can't figure out.
I want to explain about the thing of "being flawed". This is not a new concept to me. My very first therapist, who I was quite resistant to, because I was forced to go when I was a teen, wrote me about my therapy with her many years after the fact, when I reconnected with her as an adult. She said that even back then I considered myself "flawed". I was "defective", because I was blind. I attributed all of my difficulties to blindness--if I could only see, I wouldn't be flunking in math, need special tutors for language, would be able to make friends more easily, get a job that actually paid more than a token goodwill gesture of a salary, etc. I could attribute everything to that blindness, which was, of course, the greatest flaw of all--not of my own making, but a defect that caused all the others.
I really did not understand this kind of analysis. Then, last week, my therapist happened to bring up the topic again, seeing myself as flawed. He also had used the word from time to time without my really connecting to it.
This time, however, he started using the same kind of logic. If I hadn't been "flawed", I would have had children. If I hadn't been "flawed", I would be sailing through coaching school and having a thriving business. If not for being "flawed", I would be a superorganizer and smart dresser, like my mother. I would never make a mistake, I'd be perfect--all, of course, except for this "flaw", which led me to feel "flawed". I cannot explain why, at this moment, it suddenly made perfect sense, but it did, and it explained a lot of things.
I am not sure if this kind of thinking parallels your own. Perhaps it does, but then again, maybe not.
Basically, the thinking is: because of some root cause, some major factor that resulted in a major defect or flaw, everything else has been "flawed", or, I have been "flawed" ever since.
The correction for the problem is, of course, to erase the "flaw". If I could somehow just get rid of this "flaw", then I would be perfect--I would be an instant business success, I would always get everything right the first time, I would be-----perfect!
What Chris talked about, being perfect now, is also an interesting concept. In coaching school, there is a whole course module on perfectionism. The alternative perspective that the writer of this module suggests is: I do not have to do something to be perfect in the future. I do not have to change an unpleasant or unhappy situation into something more perfect. Rather that what ishappening now is perfect just as it is, perfect for my growth, perfect for where I need to be right now. This is a very radical view and not an easy one to accept at first glance. It follows along the same lines of: there is ultimately no such thing as a mistake because it was meant to happen this way. This is not a fatalistic view. It means, instead, that what we conceive of as "mistakes" are really "learning experiences" and therefore meant to occur.
Tziporah
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
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