Belated Welcome, Shavtay2007
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Belated Welcome, Shavtay2007
| Tue, 03-20-2007 - 10:32am |
Hi Tziporah,
I am so sorry that this is such a belated welcome to you. I've been absent from the board for nearly a month - so many things have been happening in my life that it was difficult to also come here. The good news is that life has somewhat calmed down (but I'm still crossing my fingers and my toes), which means that I'm back on iVillage.
I am so very happy to see you here, participating and sharing in our conversations! I hope that we'll get to know each other better in the coming weeks.
Welcome again!
(PS: I love the sound of your name!)

Please visit these other great message boards:
Cranio-Facial Abnormalities
In Vitro (IVF)


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also, have a good week. hopefully, better than last week.
Tziporah
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
Hi Tziporah, It is nice when you can wake up and hear the birds singing their happy morning song.
About to go to sleep, but had the computer on and decided to see if you wrote back. i'm glad you did.
picked at a finger today and then stopped it. then went haywire on the right index. the only one tht is really rippted up now. must have been stressed about therapy. it was hard. i cried. and he said i'm still not doing what he wants--replacing the negative thoughts with the positive ones, the insecure anxious thoughts with the secure thoughts. he says i must be getting a pay-off, otherwise i wouldn't be doing it session after session. i'm just so tied up with somany phobias and anxieties connected with myself and my husband. we don't have children, and that's part of it.
anyway, tired and sore from therapy.
your mom sounds just like mine. and the way you need to get to know someone before you can open up--just like me. the only exception to that is my husband. right away i could tell him anything. and he was the same as well. that is one of the reasons i married him.
Tziporah
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
Hi Tziporah, I'm about to go bed now.
I've been working at the computer most of the day. Actually a good thing--I have gotten a lot done. Shabtai is in the north of the country on a trip with the members of his religious learning group--all males. shucks. they're having such a good time. i'm jealous. laugh. he keeps calling on the cell and telling me what they're doing.
they went on a tour of a nature park and he said there was a seat just for me beside him.
well, with him away, i have been undisturbed and have gontten a tremendous amount of necessary work done. so, i guess that's consolation.
still, wrecked my right hand fingers again. and i know why. partly because i have to type a lot of material tonight. tomorrow i have to have this stuff ready for my teleclass and tomorrow i will be out most of the morning. so i'm feeling the time pressure. i finally decided to stop, even though all the material is not ready. i realized i have enough to manage for tomorrow.
also, it's because i'm still working through the therapy session yesterday.
actually, there is a method for changing insecure thoughts to insecure thoughts. it is called Recovery Inc. it can be found on the web. it uses a four-step process. i actually trained in the method as a leader a few years ago and my therapist also did as well. he has been encouraging me to get into it. one of the teleclasses i am leading is dedicated to practicing this method. i have to clarify. it isn't exactly the Recovery Inc., but an adaptation of it which was designed by an Orthodox Jewish psychologist. but it is 95 per cent the same.
anyway, on this telephone line that i speak on, they have classes in this method every day. right now i'm leading a group once a week. yesterday in therapy i asked my t. how could lead a group when i have so much difficulty in changing my insecure thoughts to secure thoughts. he said that is precisely why i should be leading it--to get the practice.
so, today i heard a session of this group. the examples were preceded by reading from one of the books that the psychologist who adapted this program wrote. the part that was read had to do with handling anxieties. i could recognize myself in it. i guess it triggered anxiety.
so, except for the fourth finger, all the right hand is messed up again.
maybe it has to get worse before it can get better.
Tziporah
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
"maybe it has to get worse before it can get better."
I can totally relate to what you wrote. You talk about it in therapy and it still doesn't help much. Oh--how many times have i talked about everything in therapy and it still doesn't help much! not everything, of course--but a lot of things.
the mind is so funny, our emotions are so funny. logic just doesn't apply. you know the abuser is dead, that more than likely the repairmen and the mechanic are nice enough fellows, and they're just doing their job. but still, suddenly, he's there all over again.
i should be able to get over a lot of the anxieties--after all, i'm an intelligent adult. and yet, somehow i'm suddenly paralyzed by all the things i was told and about my inabilities as a blind person and all the other negative experiences, and suddenly i'm that "little girl" again.
i have just started reading Phil Mc"graw's (Dr. Phil), book, Personal Matters. ifocuses on this very issue--clearning away the outer and inner messages that have been limitting us, or--as he puts it--has caused us to move away from our authentic self. i am findiing it very stimulating reading.
a lot of good psychological exercises in there. a lot of truth.
i also like working under the wire. nothing like the stress of a deadline to get me moving. but sometimes i underestimate how long a project will take and then i have to work against the clock.
anyway, i gae the class today. by the time i stopped last night, i had more than enough material. even if i were not to finish the project, i'd have enough. but i intend to finish preparing the material. each time i give this class i become a bit more confident. today was a very good class.
i had to go to the dentist today. just a bi-annual teeth cleaning. i took a painkiller before leaving. i have very sensitive gums and have a lot of pain when going through the procedure. the hygienist puts on some kind of cream that is supposed to anesthetize the gums. sometimes it works, sometimes not. today, except for a few seconds, there was really nothing painful. i guess the pain killer worked. anyway, afterwards, she said i was a "hero". that made me feel really good.
you are also a hero for going to that new garage. i love that story about the female mechanics. i bet they're all feminists! laugh. just the kind of thing that was the rage when i was growing up. remember Josephine the female plumber on TV?
anyway, nonetheless, on the way to the dentist i was anxious and picked at my nails. had to cover my hands with tissues. then it passed. still, i was disgusted withmyself for engaging in this habit.
Tziporah
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
Hi, Tziporah, I did it!!! I went to the garage and it wasn't nearly as bad as I had imagined it and I knew it wouldn't be.
your story with the garage--my t. would call it a case of anticipatory anxiety that didn't materialize. "not nearly as bad as you thought it would be."
don't worry--i have anticipatory anxiety all the time and 99.5 it turns out just like your garage incident did--not nearly as bad as i anticipated, after working myself up into a tizzy beforehand.
i laughed when i read your comment on the car smelling like the garage. well, what do you expect after it sat there for 2 weeks?
anyway, you are stronger for having done it. and it was smart to take your nephew along just in case. often, haing a backup relieves the tension. like the wedding last week i might have written about. i really didn't want to go, but forced myself. my backup--having cab money to go home early if i wanted to. just knowing i had the option helped. in the same way, knowing your nephew was there tohelp in case you needed help probably reduced the tension.
i've neer watched Dr. Phil on TV. but i do like his writings.
how do you get gift certificates for amazon.com. i wouldn't mind having some. lol. i am a book addict.
anyway, i am familiar with the tapes-in-the-head idea. it is based on cognitive theory. you don't just rip them out. yank. at first, it might be only possible to lower the volume on them. but at the same time you're lowering the volume on the negative tape, you're supposed to be putting in what is called a positive-power tape to counterbalance it and turning the volume up on that positive power tape. eventually, the negative tape is so outdated that you just throw it in the trash bin where it belongs. of course it isn't easy to do. it's a process. also, it helps to start with minor incidents and eents before going for the big guns.
a victory for you going to that garage. celebrate it.
Tziporah
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
Hi Tziporah!
I went back to working with the Sociology professor today.
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