Belated Welcome, Shavtay2007

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Belated Welcome, Shavtay2007
1100
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 10:32am

Hi Tziporah,


I am so sorry that this is such a belated welcome to you. I've been absent from the board for nearly a month - so many things have been happening in my life that it was difficult to also come here. The good news is that life has somewhat calmed down (but I'm still crossing my fingers and my toes), which means that I'm back on iVillage.


I am so very happy to see you here, participating and sharing in our conversations! I hope that we'll get to know each other better in the coming weeks.


Welcome again!


(PS: I love the sound of your name!)


Please visit these other great message boards:
Cranio-Facial Abnormalities
In Vitro (IVF)



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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Mon, 06-07-2010 - 9:36am

Well.... I'm glad you didn't develope a sinus infection, and at least now you know you're better.

Avatar for cl_nawleansdarlin
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 06-07-2010 - 2:47pm

Hello Tziporah,


Actually, it was a bit of a relief that I didn’t have to work too hard on this board last week.

 

Avatar for cl_nawleansdarlin
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 06-07-2010 - 2:48pm

Yep, I am feeling much better now.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
Wed, 06-09-2010 - 3:24am

Hello, Karen,
Thanks for your supportive email.
You're right. I am busier. I don't know if things are in a hierarchy, but I am definitely getting things done--a lot of things done.
In therapy on Monday, I addressed the issue about why it is, that after three or four days, the anxiety starts up. I told him that's the reason I need therapy twice a week--sort of like a medication that relieves the anxiety.
He said that it wasn't a question of needing therapy twice a week. Rather, once again--and it always seems to come down to this--it is a case of finding alternatives to the insecure thoughts. Therapy brings the thoughts to the surace. But, after I've talked them out, he then goes onto the next step--trying to challenge the anxious, insecure thoughts and to defuse them. Sometimes I am aware of the insecure thoughts, sometimes not. It's his goal, my goal, that I get to the point where I can do this myself. Then I can get to the point where I would need therapy only once a week.
Then, hopefully, ultimtely, I would be able to stop biting my fingers.

The reason people are opposed to the elevator is because some neighbors think it will spoil the view, or the air circulation, or interfere with other things, like the drainage system, air conditioner leads, and the like. Some of these considerations are valid, but there are ways to circumvent them. Our building has only four floors, so some people think that if we need an eleator so much, the best thing to do would be to move elsewhere, not build an elevator here.

I didn't know you stutter, and I'm glad you have overcome that. I also didn't know you are a survivor of rape. Interesting how many people on this self-injury board have gone through that.
Tziporah

web: www.life-ladders-coaching.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
Tziporah
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
Avatar for cl_nawleansdarlin
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 06-11-2010 - 9:35pm

Hi Tziporah!


I thought I mentioned that I am survivor of rape or rather incest.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
Sat, 06-12-2010 - 10:37pm

Hello, Karen,
You know me so well!
I used to say this about Poppy. She also seemed to always know just what I needed to hear at any moment. How many times did Itell her that she knew me so well?
Ask Poppy. laugh.
I don't know how you both do it. But you do. laugh.

Over the last half-hour I've started to have a really bad anxiety attack. Bit my right fifth finger and made it bleed. Felt disgusted at how it bled. That was just when I was getting up. Now, while writing this, did that again. It's early morning here. Chewing on a piece of skin while I am writing this. Somehow feels relaxing.
i know I should put a bandaid on the finger.

Just the usual thoughts--the doubts. Is this really what I should be doing?--the business idea I have, I mean.
Will it sell?

Well, I'm going to tell you what I thought and I'd like your feedback. I thought of modeling something on my own life experience. This is what this business coach recommends. So I sat down and looked at my life. What has been the common denominator since my marriage? It is: having to cope with childlessness and having to design my life around all the unexpected adversities that have occurred. So, I thought, helping women after they face adversity get back on their feet.
What do you think about this idea?

Well, the worst part of the anxiety attack has passed. I don't know why it is, but I always seem to get them Sunday morning. Maybe I do know why. It's because it's the start of the week. That would make sense. If my therapist was here, he'd say, for the umpteenth time, "Challenge the insecure thought."

I guess I can do this. It's the first structured program I've really come into contact with, and I've made a real commitment to it.
The head trainer also said, in his last training call on Friday, if it doesn't work, no harm done. Just try something else. It helped to hear that.

I've increased my learning considerably and feel better having done that.

Last week, a very well-known rabbi passed away here. The funeral was carried live on the radio. One of the rabbis who eulogized said that everyone should take upon themselves something that would improve the spiritual faccuum left by this rabbi's passing. I thought about not watching movies anymore. I don't know if I can keep this commitment forever, but in the meantime, I have stuck to it. It was really hurting me spiritually, although there was some relaxation in it as a diversion, like you said.

The other important thing that happened was that my two sisters and I connected with our parents for a teleconference Happy Anniversary call. It was their 60th. It was my idea to try doing this, as we are scattered in different places. It almost looked as if we weren't going to be able to pull it off, as it was hard implementing the conference connections. But we did it! This was probably the first time the entire immediate family were all talking to each other at the same time in quite a few years. My parents were genuinely surprised. I'm writing this, because without therapy, without the improvement that therapy has brought about in my relationship to my parents, I couldn't have done this, let only think about doing this.

Therapy is painful, but through the pain comes healing. At present, not all the sessions are painful. Sometimes they are, sometimes not. Last session I felt the pain strongly for a couple of hours. It used to be every session was painful. That has subsided and passed.

Thanks for your response in the last message about all the other topics you wrote about. You're right. Such terrible events do change a person permanently. I can certainly say that about the night Shabtai was hospitalized with his first kidney failure attack. I walked in as an innocent bride. Walked out of the ER several hours later having aged! I knew my childhood was over forever. That's the night I really became an adult! People think I define my life by my blindness. More often than not, that night was the defining moment. Everything that has happened since then has been defined by that occurrence of his kidney failure.
Tziporah

web: www.life-ladders-coaching.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
Tziporah
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2001
Sun, 06-13-2010 - 11:18pm

Hi Tziporah and Karen!

I took piano lessons for 10 years. My mother tried to start me earlier, but it didn't work out. My first teacher was nice, but I can't remember why we didn't continue with her. My second teacher was super, and I loved her very much.

My father played both classical violin and flute, so we now have a violin and a flute at home. My younger brother played the violin, but I doubt he has played since college. My shoulders tense up easily, so playing either violin or flute was painful.

It nice that you and your husband play together! One of my fondest memories was us playing and singing together as a family.

Well, the business coach is a friend and one of the business partners. It's quite convenient. So he gave us the tools we need to do monitor our marketing strategies, revenues, etc. Tomorrow I am to work on scripts and Standard Operating Procedures so that we can train out technicians accordingly. The learning curve is steep, but eventually we'll get there!

Tziporah, you sound very busy with your teleclasses. Are these as a coach or for religious classes?

I am sorry to hear that both your father-in-law and your mother are having health issues. Are your parents coming to visit this fall?

I've had no news of Amanda, either. I emailed her, but I've not gotten any replies. I am worried because it's not like her to totally disappear like this. I hope that she is okay, too. She is a very interesting young woman!

Karen - I hope that this finds you well. I have been in pain this past week. Everything was aching - tooth, jaw, cheeks, ear, head. At first I thought it was a toothache, but last Friday my dentist said everything looked fine and healthy and the X-Ray came out clean. It might be an earache or a sinus infection, but I'm not really congested (though I've never had a sinus infection.) The pain has gone down, I've not had to take a painkiller this morning even though I was woken up by discomfort at 3 am. I might go see the ENT specialist this evening.

Take care everyone!













iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
Mon, 06-14-2010 - 5:14am

Hi Poppy,
I'm sorry to hear about your aching face.I hope you are pain free real soon.
I'm also going to try contacting Amanda via email or on skype or whatever. I have to look for her email address, but I know I have it.
Skype would probably be quicker. I'm almost sure Ihave her on my skype contact list.

Maybe she just got tired of coming here to write. I hope that's all it is. But it is worrying, because even though we'd rather not think about it, a lot of people with si problems have other serious mental health issues as well. It's easy to forget that fact sometimes.

I'm glad you found a good business coach. What business are you talking about in your post? I can't figure that out.

Besides piano, I also learned to play accordion here. With my back problems, lower back especially, but also sometimes neck and shoulders, I play much less than I used to. I didn't know it could be hard playing the violin or flute if you have shoulder pain. Actually, I can see how it could affect violin playing, as you're standing and holding the bow with one hand and the violin in the other hand. That can get tiring. But please explain to me how shoulder pain connects with flute playing.

Glad to see you back on ivillage.

Tziporah

web: www.life-ladders-coaching.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
Tziporah
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
Avatar for cl_nawleansdarlin
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 06-15-2010 - 2:09pm

Hi Tziporah,


Well, I thought about your idea and I think it is an excellent one.

 

Avatar for cl_nawleansdarlin
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 06-15-2010 - 2:10pm

Poppy!

 

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