Belated Welcome, Shavtay2007

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Belated Welcome, Shavtay2007
1100
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 10:32am

Hi Tziporah,


I am so sorry that this is such a belated welcome to you. I've been absent from the board for nearly a month - so many things have been happening in my life that it was difficult to also come here. The good news is that life has somewhat calmed down (but I'm still crossing my fingers and my toes), which means that I'm back on iVillage.


I am so very happy to see you here, participating and sharing in our conversations! I hope that we'll get to know each other better in the coming weeks.


Welcome again!


(PS: I love the sound of your name!)


Please visit these other great message boards:
Cranio-Facial Abnormalities
In Vitro (IVF)



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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Wed, 01-05-2011 - 3:57pm
You are so right about a good cry.... Karen, if you need a shoulder, you know we're here for you.

Tziporah, I'm sorry you're still feeling stressed and indecisive about things. Sounds like you still have a little homework from your therapist to work on.

Avatar for nawleansdarlin
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-1999
Wed, 01-05-2011 - 9:30pm

Thanks Tziporah and Amy.

I know a good cry can be cleansing but right now it would just open the flood gates to deep depression.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
Thu, 01-06-2011 - 6:04am
Hello, Karen, Feeling very frustrated right now. I'm biting my fingers and chewing on a piece of skin as I right this. don't really care. I've been doing this habit most of my life and my fingers have survived till now, so I figure they always will. Maybe because your son is so big, someone thinks they can take him on and bully him around. As far as your mom with her cancer--I certainly hope not for both of your sakes. that would definitely complicate things for you. Tziporah
Tziporah
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
Thu, 01-06-2011 - 6:13am
Hello, Amy, A LITTLE homework? How about a LOT of homework! Definitely more like it. Tziporah
Tziporah
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Thu, 01-06-2011 - 9:56am
(((Karen))) Yes, if the cancer is back, your mom will need you. Maybe this was a bigger reason why you had to move back in with her.

I hope your DS is able to work out the bullying issues. Poor kid.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Thu, 01-06-2011 - 10:05am
LOL, are you getting to work then?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
Thu, 01-06-2011 - 4:25pm
Hi Karen, I agree with everything Amy said in her message. I have thought a lot about the bullying thing with your son. Tonight on the news there was a local story about a fifteen-year-old kid who committed suicide two days ago because he couldn't take the bullying anymore. They had a short clip with his mourning parents. The reporter had said the boy was taunted, beat up, humiliated on facebook, etc., etc. According to the reporter: "all the kids in school knew about it. all the teachers knew about it. his homeroom teacher knew about it." it seems everybody knew about it and nobody did anything! Responsible adults. Tell me about it. i just find that incredible. if i were that kid's parents, i would demand those teachers get fired! Of course, post-mortum, the ministry of education is going to set up a committee of inquiry. Little comfort, I suspect, for the grieving parents. No comfort for the guy who's dead. But if it will bring some justice, so be it. If it will bring the problem out into the open, then his death will not have been in vain. I sure hope those offending kids get what they deserve. noticeably absent, of course, was whether or not the kid's parents knew about it. i know that teenagers rarely go to their parents, and if they do, it's only after all other options have been exhausted. Karen, I know you're going through a hard time with so many things on your plate: your husband in another state of the country, your mom possibly facing cancer, your own money troubles, etc. after hearing this news clip, I thought, "if I was in your position, what would I do?" Karen, to be honest, this is what I came up with: I'd first have a serious talk with my son. I'd tell him I want to go to the school principal to discuss the matter, but wanted himn to know I was doing this before I did so, so that nothing would be done behind his back. And that it wasn't because I don't believe he can't take care of himself. I know he can. But school should be safe for everyone, and it doesn't matter if you're a fourth grade kid or in your senior year. Bullying is bullying at any age. It hurts all those involved. and it's a violation of his rights to safety in school. and it's a serious thing if teachers know about it and turn a blind eye. I don't expect kids in class to step forward. but I do expect teachers to be responsible adults. and that is why I want to go to the principal with this matter. You can come with me if you wish. I'd explain that these kinds of things have to be dealt with at a schoolwide level, and if his problems with bullying can become the catalyst for change, then it will all be worthwhile. Especially because your son has depression problems, or has a.d.d. problems--I forget which--he needs your practical help. he's emotionally vulnerable. but even if these problems weren't present, every child is entitled to have his parent/s stand up for him. You might even tell him about this incident with the fifteen-year-old boy. No parent should have to ask him/her/self: "why didn't I know? why didn't I take action?" Maybe the parents of this unfortunate fifteen-year-old really didn't know, (although I find that hard to believe--there must have been some warning signs), but the fact is, Karen, you DO know. He's still got half a year to go there and that's a long time to endure abuse. And that's what bulying is--plain and simple, pure abuse. It would be much easier if your husband was around, but he isn't. A lot of single parents have to deal with things. I know you can do this. I really hope you'll take this matter seriously. I know it's frightening to have to face this alone. But just as you believe in me, I believe in your abilities, too. Tziporah
Tziporah
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
Thu, 01-06-2011 - 4:35pm
Amy--a very good question. Well, I have to get to work. It's just so hard! Hard work. and hard getting down to work. and hard to keep on working when there are so many obstacles and difficulties. I also agree with your previous message and what you said to Karen. I wrote a long post back to her. I hope she steps in to help her son. I hope she can deal with all the things going on in her life. Not easy, to be sure. Tziporah
Tziporah
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Thu, 01-06-2011 - 4:45pm
I read your reply to Karen and agree 100% (plus, it was really well written and thought out)! Even though her son is nearly an adult, it's important for both of them that she still advocates for him.

I find that when I dread doing the work, it's a lot harder to get started on it. But, often, once I get started the task is much easier than what I'd anticipated. Do you agree?

Avatar for nawleansdarlin
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-1999
Thu, 01-06-2011 - 7:15pm

Thanks Tziporah,

I hope my mom is okay too.

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