Belated Welcome, Shavtay2007

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Belated Welcome, Shavtay2007
1100
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 10:32am

Hi Tziporah,


I am so sorry that this is such a belated welcome to you. I've been absent from the board for nearly a month - so many things have been happening in my life that it was difficult to also come here. The good news is that life has somewhat calmed down (but I'm still crossing my fingers and my toes), which means that I'm back on iVillage.


I am so very happy to see you here, participating and sharing in our conversations! I hope that we'll get to know each other better in the coming weeks.


Welcome again!


(PS: I love the sound of your name!)


Please visit these other great message boards:
Cranio-Facial Abnormalities
In Vitro (IVF)



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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Mon, 01-24-2011 - 12:54pm
Karen - I'm LOLing about you teaching that bully a lesson. Sometimes I thiink that's the only way they will learn. Too funny.

Chapstick or any lip balm is what keeps me from biting my lips too. It's gross to get that stuff all over my teeth. Bleh!

Avatar for nawleansdarlin
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-1999
Mon, 01-24-2011 - 12:55pm

It is gross, Amy.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Mon, 01-24-2011 - 1:06pm
Ugh, I remember those. We'd bite the tops off, drink the sugar water and then chew on the bottles for 10 minutes or so. Bleh!

Avatar for nawleansdarlin
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-1999
Tue, 01-25-2011 - 7:41pm

LOL!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
Wed, 01-26-2011 - 7:36am
Hi Karen and Amy, I can't even imagine eating that wax gook. Yucks. Really gross. But I guess eating my own skin is no less gross--probably worse. Going through a real cuticle-biting stage. Also, rough skin on my heels and picked at that. One piece of skin was really long. Finally, cut it off with scissors. Depressed because of the money situation. Having to put out a lot of money for the various therapies my mil needs--not all of them covered by health insurance, and even those that are, you have to pay in cash and then get reimbursed. developping my website, but still having doubts if it will be a moneymaker. the only thing consoling me now is that on the BBC news the other day, they said twenty percent of the work force in Spain, four million people, are out of work. Incredible. I consoled myself for not living in Spain. Just this low-grade depression that just won't lift. Went out yesterday and today--went over to help out with my mil. it felt good getting out. i felt better afterwards. my t. says i should go out more--even if I have nowhere to go--there doesn't have to be a purpose--just get out. I can't conceive of doing that, just going out with nowhere to go. I never imagined having to be in a situation where I would be having to count every penny. I grew up in a house where there was always enough. If there was money-counting, we never saw it. I never thought I'd be in this position. I think that's what's depressing me right now. Tziporah
Tziporah
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Wed, 01-26-2011 - 9:31am
20%? Wow, I'm glad none of us are currently living in Spain as well. I can't imagine thta many people out of work. :(

I think your therapist is on to something, you probably should get out more. Even if it's just for a walk.

Counting every penny.... it's hard, I know (believe me), but I do think things will get better.

Avatar for nawleansdarlin
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-1999
Wed, 01-26-2011 - 3:17pm

Hi Tziporah,

Oh Honey, I am counting the pennies I don't even have yet.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
Wed, 01-26-2011 - 4:17pm
Hi Karen, I just turned on my computer and saw your message--that it was just posted. Maybe you're still around. Anyway, the dry heel thing. I never used to have it. Maybe it comes with menopause or something--because I'm in that phase of life and it is now really bad. But then again, my husband also has it. He went to a foot doctor who gave him a special foot cream. Also, he found that when he wears orthopedic shoes--not cheap--it seems to make the problem less intense. For myself, I'm in the house most of the time and walk around in crocks with no stockings or socks on--just barefoot. They say that bathing in an olive oil bath is supposed to be very good. Just fill a nice warm bathtub and pour in some olive oil. Olive oil is a mainstay here in the Middle East--Mediterrean region, so I always have some on hand. I tried this a few minutes ago and it worked--at least it made my skin feel nice, smooth and silky. How about vaseline? I tried coating my heels with it and then putting my feet in socks. Maybe putting your feet in plastic gloves. I used to do that with my hands. Would put hand cream on them and then put my hands in those gloves and sleep with them on. Maybe do that with the feet, put them in hand cream and then in socks--but you need a lot of cream. Now on to the money topic. I feel funny talking to you about it. You're in opverty, so to speak, and if you had what I have had until now, you'd say, and rightly so,that I am well off. That's what makes this so hard. I have enough right now for my immediate needs, but a lot of my financial cushion was drained away over the years--most of it for medical expenses: when Shabtai had his transplant, the costly infertility treatments, ten plus years of psychotherapy, and now this elevator. Now we got this new thing with having to pay for Shabtai's mother's therapies. I talked to my sister-in-law about it. She said eventually medical insurance will start kicking in, but that won't be for some time yet. She's also shelling out money--about a thousand dollars right now for the Philippino women that are with her parents. Their (Shabtai and his sisters) father needs care because he is senile and totally out of it. His mother needs care because of the stroke. So now there are two Philippino women there full-time, one for each parent. What hurts most is that the cost for the therapies I'm now putting out is equivalent to the money I would put out to have girls over as Sabbath guests. The exact amount! I got called away. Karen, you might have moved on meantime. Anyway, about two years ago, our rabbi said we should stop having guests for the Sabbath because it was draining our finances. We just couldn't bring ourselves to do it. After the financial crisis, though, we had no choice. Karen, last night three girls called asking to come for the weekend. Today another girl called. Till now, I would tell them that I couldn't because I was in the middle of house repairs and didn't know when we'd be done. That was true--it had to do with the elevator. But we have that date now. Now, of late, Shabtai says, "tell them, next year." But I don't even know if that will happen. I always had ambivalence about having the sem girls for the week end. sometimes I liked it, sometimes they annoyed me. but from a mental health perspective, it was very good. it forced me to out every Sabbath to synagogue and it meant the house was full of people. Now, on the Sabbath, I've stopped going to synagogue. Often, I just sleep most of the day, except when I get up for the meals. I keep telling myself I'll change that, but I don't. Now I went out yesterday and today to be with my mil when she had her therapy. I did feel better after that--getting out did help. I felt useful and needed. After the therapy, I chatted with the Philippino women. Tonight I had to give one of my teleclasses. The discussion was on using the strategy of shouting "stop" to oneself, or having someone shout "stop" and stopping the negative thoughts or bad habit. All the time I was doing this, I was biting my cuticles and they bled. You got that picture? I felt like such a fraud, a phony--couldn't practice what I was teaching. Good thing they couldn't see me. But then, if they could have seen me, I wouldn't have been doing that. Well, that's what smacks of it--not being able to have the girls for Sabbath, and now putting out the same exact amount for this necessity. It feels like a punishment in a way. In some weird way my mind says, "maybe if you had kept having the girls, you wouldn't have had to pay for this therapy stuff." But I know that's dumb. It just makes no sense. One has nothing to do with the other. And, of course, as nice as having guests are, it's not a necessity, and these therapies are definitely necessary. Most of the time, when I'm not sleeping, I'm lying in bed while Shabtai sleeps, or lying in bed dozing off to some program on the radio. Just can't seem to get started. Still trying to believe this website will make money. Just not convinced yet. Of course there are deep issues still to be dealt with in therapy. Could you explain what you meant in your previous message about "blurting it all out in therapy"? I really didn't understand what you were saying. I went back to some really old entries on this msb that I never read--which might have been uup before I started here. I really liked the topic about whether talking about si increases doing it. I think I'm going to go back and read some of those. I also found an old entry from 2008 by the then cl. Amanda. "For every single thing that's going wrong, find two things that are going right." I think it's a good idea to go back occasionally and browse through the older emails.
Tziporah
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
Wed, 01-26-2011 - 5:06pm
Hi Amy, I comfoted myself after hearing about the 20% unemployment rate in Spain by reminding myself that I'm one of the 70% of unemployed people in the blind population. As a leading consumer advocate of the blind once said: "no minority would tolerate that kind of figure." He's right, but that's the reality. A lot of well-educated blind people with no job. That's also part of my money thing. Everyone in my family is well educated and very successful job-wise.. My husband said the other day, "if you were getting paid for all the teleclasses you give, you'd consider yourself a success. Because it's on a volunteer line, it counts as nothing." Honestly, Amy, (laugh), I don't need my t. My husband says almost everything he says--same words, same sentiments, everything. My dh thinks that because my t. says it I hear it better. sometimes yes, but often not true. no matter who is saying it, it doesn't sink in. As for going out more, as for my t. being unto something, right again. he is. of course he is. that's why he's a therapist. that's why I stay with him. if I could just magically put into practice all the things he's suggested, I'd be in Seventh Heaven. most times I feel like I put very little of what he says into practice. the longer the therapy continues, the deepr the work, and the work is now at uprooting the really deep-seated stuff, which is extremely hard. I find it hard to go out. Just have nothing to talk about with the people here. can't relate to them. bored by hearing the same old familiar stories for the hundredth time. yesterday on the BBC someone said that blogging is changing the way we socialize. people now feel more comfortable making friends on message boards than interacting in real life. when she said that, I thought of myself. True, I'd never meet, let alone, probably never interact with the people here in real life, but find it very easy to do so online. it's less threatening, easier. no special challenges--which I do have as a blind person in social settings. more about that another time. it's late. thanks for emailing back. Tziporah
Tziporah
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
Avatar for nawleansdarlin
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-1999
Thu, 01-27-2011 - 4:04pm

Hi Tziporah,

What I meant by blurting it all out in therapy is this.

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