Belated Welcome, Shavtay2007

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Belated Welcome, Shavtay2007
1100
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 10:32am

Hi Tziporah,


I am so sorry that this is such a belated welcome to you. I've been absent from the board for nearly a month - so many things have been happening in my life that it was difficult to also come here. The good news is that life has somewhat calmed down (but I'm still crossing my fingers and my toes), which means that I'm back on iVillage.


I am so very happy to see you here, participating and sharing in our conversations! I hope that we'll get to know each other better in the coming weeks.


Welcome again!


(PS: I love the sound of your name!)


Please visit these other great message boards:
Cranio-Facial Abnormalities
In Vitro (IVF)



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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Wed, 02-09-2011 - 4:38pm
Good girl! ;) A for effort is right.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
Wed, 02-09-2011 - 4:59pm
Hi Karen, So sorry to here about your eye infection. I know how gross they can be. Gucky and painful. I'm glad you're on the mend. I guess getting obsessed is average--thanks for sharing that with me--especially when it's big newsworthy stuff like 9/11, O.J. Simpson, and the Oklahoma Bombing. I think the O.J. thing comes under the "personal interest" kind of thing, the way some people are addicted to soap operas. The drama. The sensationalism. Why are you ashamed about the O.J. Simpson obsession? I'm sure there were millions who also were that way. Other things, like the 9/11 thing are in a different class, I think, because these things do concern--or potentially have the ability--to concern our survival. I guess, since Israel is right next door to Egypt, and there is a lot of concern about Iran, and what will happen if an extreme Islamic group comes to power in Egypt, it could be said that this is one of those survival instances. People here are really worried about the future of the Peace Accord struck up between Israel and Egypt. Just like the Iran Revolution brought in extremism, which is a real threat, people are afraid an Iran-like regime will take over and basically rid the peace agreement of any content. I've spent less time listening to the news, but it's still very much on my mind. Still having trouble getting up to do things in the evening. Low energy. Why do I hate myself? Well, first and foremost, for still engaging in my cuticle-biting. For not having a financially viable business yet. For gaining weight and not being able to be disciplined enough to either lose the weight or stop biting my nails. Should I continue? As my t. says, "I'm an expert at hating myself." As for my sisters, why do I compare myself to them? they have achieved everything I find so hard: very well off financially, good figures, great jobs, very successful. That's really it in a nutshell. True, as my t. likes to say, my values and lifestyle and those of my parents and sisters ae ery different. They also made easier choices--staying in the U.S. cONCEIVABLY, IF i HAD DONE THAT, i COULD BE DOING THE SAME KIND OF THINGS AND ACHIEVING THE SAME KIND OF THINGS AS THEY. bOTTOM LINE: i NEVER ENVISIONED MYSELF AS BEING OVERWEIGHT IN my mid-fifties. OOOPS. wrote most of this in caps. Sorry about that. Don't get me wrong. I'm really happy for my sisters and their good fortune. AI love them and want only the best for them. They have good marriages, lving husband, grown children who have remained out of trouble and are themselves becoming productive young adults. They've worked hard for what they have. My sisters haven't escaped unscathed. My older sister was at the scene of the 9/11 World TTrade Center. she was shopping in a plaza, (she worked in the American Express building next to the Twin Towers). so she wasn't directly involved. but she saw horrible things and I'm sure that's left its impact. she doesn't talk about it to us, but I know Amex offered counseling to its employees. My other sister only has one child. I'm not sure if that was by choice or not. Both were hurt in their own ways by my parents, jjust as I was. So I know it's not been a bed of roses without the thorns for them either. Still, the comparisons. Karen--what do you think I've been working on in therapy for the last ten years? A lot of it has been about these very issues. The other part has been about learning to redirect my thoughts, think more secure thoughts, overcoming the depression and its affects. Tziporah
Tziporah
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
Avatar for nawleansdarlin
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-1999
Wed, 02-09-2011 - 7:15pm

Tziporah,

You made me laugh.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
Thu, 02-10-2011 - 12:30am
Hi Karen, I made you laugh? Ha ha--you made me laugh in return, when you said you think your brother's an idiot. I'm so tempted to ask you why you think that? Well, you're right of course. It really makes no sense. When I first read your message, I thought you were going to say that you don't compare yourself to your brother because he's male and your female. I guess what I really hate myself for--and I thought about this after I wrote my email to you--is because I really want to change, but somehow don't have the motivation or self-discipline to translate thoughts and words into concrete action. This is something else we've been working on in therapy. My t. told me to go out every day this week. Did I do it? No. Only when I had to go out did I actually go out. Still more comfortable staying in the house in a warm, lazy kind of way, although I know it really isn't good for me to do that. Why can't I be self-disciplined enough to stop biting my fingers? That's what I really hate, I think. Wanting to, but not being able to actually do it.
Tziporah
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
Avatar for nawleansdarlin
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-1999
Thu, 02-10-2011 - 9:20pm

Hi Tziporah,

I'm glad I made you laugh.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
Sat, 02-12-2011 - 4:00pm
Hi Karen, Amy, and anyone else reading this, Karen: Seems to me like his wife's the idiot for staying with him. Or, maybe it's just a case of idiot meeting idiot. lol. Thank G-d I'm not married to an idiot, and I don't think you are either. Amy and Karen: Well, what's new with me? I'm still trying to get through to my psych.doc, and, believe it or not, her voicemail has been full for the last three days, which means I can't leave a message een if I would want to. I'm now at the point of being fed up with her lack of response. Two weeks ago I left my initial message, and you'd think she'd call back by now. Maybe she's on vacation. I know she has a secretary. Well, I started to reread the book, "Prozac Backlash", by Joseph Glenmullen. He's a Harvard psychiatry professor. He's written other books since this one. Basically, he talks about the side-effects of the SSRI antidepressants and other alternatives to it. Sometimes he advocates drug use, but is very cautious about it. Well, I didn't find anything referring to slurring of speech, but I did find some things related to other side effects. Well, I've been on this stuff for almost a decade already. Well, I checked out his website: http://www.glenmullen.com and I found a link to another website: CCHR Citizens Commission on Human Rights. They are very anti-psychiatry. Anyway, I found a link that lists their groups around the world. They have a branch in Israel. I think I'll call them tomorrow, Sunday, (which is a working day here), to see if I can get a referral to another doctor--maybe someone who can help me get off this stuff, or at least someone who is more aware of the side effects--hopefully someone who answers their phone quciker than my psych.doc. I was suposed to have therapy at a different time on Thursday. I called the therapist's office, as he told me to do. The office was closed. Tried his cell. Left a voice message. Then went to sleep. Actually glad to have a week off from therapy. I asked him to call me back. He hasn't yet. I'll try him Monday. Still a bit nervous and depressed, but managing. Tziporah
Tziporah
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
Avatar for nawleansdarlin
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-1999
Sun, 02-13-2011 - 3:22pm

Hi Tziporah!

I'm not sure why my brother's wife stays with him.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Mon, 02-14-2011 - 1:58pm
I can't believe you still haven't been able to get through to your p-doc. Maybe a referral to another doc is needed. Goodness.

Interesting about that book. I do think it's a good idea to be cautious about antidepressants and not just hand them out willy-nilly as it seems many doctors do.

I hope today was a good day for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
Thu, 02-17-2011 - 4:31am
Hi Amy, Still no reply from this doc or her secretary. Real jerks, I'm beginning to think, and definitely unresponsive. Looking for a new doc. hasn't been easy either. I called this consumer group and just get their voicemail. Will send them an email. Haven'tdone much all week. Well, have done things--just not business-related. Watching stuff on the internet a lot. Spent the last few days watching footage on the Kennedy assasinations. I remember them because I was growing up then. I think anyone who lived then couldn't forget them, even if they wanted to. Anyway, Tuesday night and almost all of yesterday spent a lot of time watching footage on the controversy surrounding RFK's assasination. Basically, who really did it? Then, today I decided to watch the footage of JFK's funeral. I remember it as a kid, but since I was only 8 at the time, I didn't really get the whole thing. But I was old enough to recall it. I found this youtube footage of it. It actually took about 2-3 hours to watch the whole thing. It's all there: his lying in state, the procession to the church, the mass, the burial. That's when I cried, when they got to the burial part. I don't know why--but I feel like watching other famous funerals. Maybe it's because I remember them as a kid. I always have found weddings and funerals of famous people interesting. I recall: the funerals of Churchill, both JFK and RFK, and Martin Luther King. I also watched the weddings of the two daughters of LBJ, Princess Ann and then heard on the BBC the wedding of Princess Diana and later her funeral. I guess it's an "interesting" diversion. Well, as far as my meds go, still reading: Prozac Backlash. Really want to get off this stuff--I've been on it 10 years. I'm afraid if I don't get off I'll be dependent on it forever. Also some decisions I have to make about my business and coaching. Still in a quandary. Have therapy tonight following a week off because we couldn't connect. Probably need it. Just have no structure. Wasting good precious time. Tziporah
Tziporah
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Thu, 02-17-2011 - 9:21am
I hope your therapy goes (went? I'm not sure what the time difference is) well tonight. You have been busy watching all of those famous events.

I'm frustrated for you that your P-doc still hasn't returned your calls. What a jerk is right! I hope that you can find a new doc who has a completely different manner and is quick to respond to patient needs.

How are your fingers?

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