Belated Welcome, Shavtay2007

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Belated Welcome, Shavtay2007
1100
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 10:32am

Hi Tziporah,


I am so sorry that this is such a belated welcome to you. I've been absent from the board for nearly a month - so many things have been happening in my life that it was difficult to also come here. The good news is that life has somewhat calmed down (but I'm still crossing my fingers and my toes), which means that I'm back on iVillage.


I am so very happy to see you here, participating and sharing in our conversations! I hope that we'll get to know each other better in the coming weeks.


Welcome again!


(PS: I love the sound of your name!)


Please visit these other great message boards:
Cranio-Facial Abnormalities
In Vitro (IVF)



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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Fri, 03-11-2011 - 9:53am
1st... I grew up Catholic as well and NEVER wanted to be a nun... maybe because I went to a strict Catholic elementary school and those nuns were mean. ;)

Second.... printers in a union. You guys are so funny, but it does seem SO true, doesn't it? LOL

Lastly.... It seems your therapist has really hit the nail on the head. Thankfulness is sometimes a hard concept to grasp. And sometimes, even when it's the closest it's ever been, it's still hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. (((hug)))

Avatar for nawleansdarlin
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-1999
Fri, 03-11-2011 - 4:44pm

Hi Tziporah!

I'm glad you found my rant on printers funny.

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Avatar for nawleansdarlin
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-1999
Fri, 03-11-2011 - 4:47pm

Amy, Never?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
Sat, 03-12-2011 - 11:12pm
Hi Karen and Amy, Much simpler writing to you both at the same time. I hope both of you don't mind. Mean nun in schools--well, I've heard stories about that. I guess it's very hard to fight a nun--you just have to submit to them as a student-i think that is what makes their meanness all the harder. in regular schools there are also mean teachers. in our day, my day, you couldn't do much about them either. but in the current climate, people can complain. i guess that is true, except if you're in a class taught by nuns. i also think part of it is that the nuns who are mean consider it part of the doctrine--part of the "suffering" that must be borne and endured, so they don't feel any compunction about having their students being treated to their meanness. or, it could just be that there are some nuns who are psychologically "off" and are nasty as a result of their psychological problems and the cover of the convent gives them the right to be mean. to be fair, i have also heard of a lot of people who were helped by nuns in school. the story of Babe Ruth is one case in point. maybe it's just a matter of luck--where you happen to end up. and don't think this is just a Catholic thing. i've heard of preaechers/evangelists who beat the living daylights out of their kids--M. Scott Peck writes about this whole thing in his book, the Road Less Traveled--how some people turned away from religion because of the things they experienced at the hands of "religious" people--and how others came back to religion. every faith, including mine, have both compassionate and cruel religious teachers who are also clergy. as for word 2010, Karen, I understood you were telling me that it worked for you, but that i didn't HAVE to upgrade to it. my problems came when i was trying to set up tables. as a blind user, i cannot click on the ribbon. to get around the "mouse" i use the keyboard shortcuts. if you can tell me the keyboard shortcuts for setting up tables, i'll consider giving it another whirl. you're right, of course, about the elevator. i knew it was coming. but--NOW IT IS REALLY COMING! not somewhere far off, a couple of weeks or months away. i'm angry that my dh is putting the whole thing of clearing out the room on my head. i asked him to at least come into the room and take a look at its total disarray. he wouldn't even do that! that got me mad. i've started saying "it's your elevator", again. truth be told, last night when i was schlepping that accordion up and down three flights, i realized i wouldn't have minded having it! i had a bad cold by the time it was time to go to that presentation thing Saturday night. how did it go? well, my fingers miraculously healed considerably--much better now. my cough and cold were still present, but G-d helped out, and i could do a decent presentation considering--sang with the accordion and talked. there were about 25 women there. none of them really looked like prospects for ongoing coaching, but i did get 300 Shekels for the effort--about 75-80 dollars. that's a start. before i left, i told Shabtai how i felt--angry. i knew they were going to ask the same questions they always do. i knew i'd have to talk about blindness-particularly my blindness--which i hate. anyway, inspiration helped. in the Jewish calendar, Sunday is the date on which Moses was born and died. so i focused my talk on the life of the Biblical Moses--how he overcame many obstacles. according to the Biblical account, he had a speech defect, was raised in Pharaoh's palace--separated from his family, almost didn't survive--thrown into the Nile, etc. and when it came time for him to accept the Divine call, he rebeled. the famous words in Ex. 3., "who makes one blind or seeing, unable to talk or to speak...is it not G-d?" so i used that as my context and i was happy with how it turned out. here and there i sprinkled in tidbits about myself and concentrated on the application of coaching to accepting what is and building on it--just like Moses did. well, you'd think after an hour-plus of content like that, the questions from the audience would have some substance. instead, it was back to: "how did you meet your husband? is he also blind?" "do you associate with blind people/clubs?" "how do you cook?" it was just so frustrating. like no matter what i do, i can't get beyond that. my t. had suggested, tell them that's not what this presentation is all about. no matter how i tried to do that, it was like hitting a wall. you're both right. my t. has hit the nail on the head. someone is waiting for me to call them back long distance in the U.S. 6am here--11pm there. so i'm going to have to leave it for now. Karen--counting down to March 22 with you. we'll celebrate when you have your own internet again. Tziporah
Tziporah
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
Avatar for nawleansdarlin
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-1999
Sun, 03-13-2011 - 3:19pm

Hi Tziporah,

I don't mind at all if you type one message to everyone who responded.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
Mon, 03-14-2011 - 12:02am
Hi Karen, Glad you wrote back. Feeling sore emotionally--which, btw, hasn't been good for my fingers either. tried bandaging them all yesterday--looking worse than Saturday. well, before i tell you what's going on here, will quickly answer your post. the thing about authority figures and their power--that's exactly what M. Scott Peck was addressing in The Road Less Traveled--the part that i mentioned previously--where some people left religion because of the harsh treatment they experienced at the hands of religious clergy/parents. and, on the other hand, how others felt empty and found religion to be an answer. btw, Peck's views on Christian theology are not exactly mainstream. for example, in one of his later books, he openly says he doesn't believe in the Resurrection. i think most Christians would take issue with that. as far as your background goes--diverse is what i would describe it as. i assume that what you mean by gypsy is Romany. am i correct? on the BBC world service they had a program about the Romany culture and religion in January. they also had some other talk show like programs about it--this was at the time when it was an issue in Europe. your idea about explaining who you are is a good one. i could see how people might find it hard identifying who you are because of your racial mix. i'[m reminded of the story of an American Indian who also had ancestry from Portugal who converted to Judaism and who married an American Jewess--she's white--and their kids definitely don't look typical. my question: did people really ask you questions about your cultural background or not? was your explanation of it sufficient? i do agree that ignorance surrounding gypsies is about as prevalent as ignorance about blindness--very pronounced. as far as Prussia goes--the country doesn't even exist anymore, so i could see how a lot of people would totally not know what that is--unless they were steeped in history. when i read your message, my first reaction was: "your right, i could do that, explain it up front. my therapist says i should. but it won't make a difference. even if i go on to other topics, that's what they'll remain focused on." besides which, what am i going to tell them? how it happened? how i went to school? how i got married? by the time i get done with that, i'll have talked for an hour. and i suspect, they'll just want to know more. and the truth is, i don't feel like i have to share my private history with the whole world. that's one of the things i didn't like about having guests for the Sabbath. every week it was the same drill of questions. a lot of it is painful--especially the childhood part. when i tell them i'm a twin, they want to know about my relationship with her as it applied to my being blind and she being sighted. i mention school and they want to know all about it--mostly i remember the discrimination i experienced. i told my t. it is like the experience of this glamorous businesswoman who became a member of the Israel Parliament. on the day she was sworn in, the reporters and media were all over her, making very offensive comments about her sexuallity: "now there will be a fragrant aroma in the Parliament chamber." finally, in exasperation, she said: "will you stop looking at me and listen to what i have to say?" i could so easily identify with her frustration. instead of concentrating on the content of what she had to say, all they could see was her feminine sex appeal. she was reduced to that single characteristic. i discussed this incident with my therapist. he said i should do the same thing. say something like: "yes, i'm blind. but there's more to me than that." i guess, what hurt me the most was that after all the effort i put in \to it, and i wasn't feeling so great---remember? all i was reduced to was this blindness thing. yesterday Shabtai and i had another fight about money. apayment has to be made to the electric company for them to install the electricity components for the elevator. the fight was about where the money should come from--which part of our account. my part, his part, etc. i tld him outright that i am not sure i'll ever be a money-earner and to stop depending on me. every time he raises the issue of money, all the negative programming i've gotten about it comes back--that as a blind person i'll always need the help of others. something i heard from significant others when i was growing up and even as a young adult. i thought i could get this business up and running. maybe i was too naive. so far, i haven't been generating very much. that was the main thought. then there was this underlying thought. what's money anyway? after all, at the end of the day we're all going to die and it won't matter one iota. this thought was triggered by a tragic occurrence--maybe you heard about it--but then again--maybe not. last Friday night, terrorists broke into a house and murdered the parents and three of their children while they were sleeping. two of the younger children, who must have woken up from the commotion, hid and were thus saved. the oldest child, only 12, had been out of the house and when she came back she discovered the mess. this incident happened at about 11pm local time and she had been taking friends home to other houses after a Friday night get-together. well, as you can imagine, the local media was swamped with it. the event was roundly condemned. the sight of the coffins of the parents and their three slain children, including a new baby, was flashed all over the place and many questions of how it could happen were raised. this terroristhad been wandering around in the settlement where this incident occurred for more than two hours. and although the security fence gave two alert signals, nobody responded! the thought of being murdered in your sleep like that. then, they broadcast the funeral live. i didn't hear it because Shabtai had just come in for lunch and i know how he hates hearing that kind of thing. my feeling today--this morning? very much like the description in the first chapter of the book of Job, barely recovering from one tragedy and then being struck with another. first the events in Tunice, then Egypt, then Libya--which has been much worse than either of the first two--then the earthquake/sunami in Japan, and then this local barbarism. so what is all that money worth anyway? except, you can't function without it. i hate how everything has been reduced to questions of money. i never thought i'd be living that kind of existence. Shabtai believes we will reover. his faith is like that, very strong. for my part, i'm not so sure. he says' G-d has always helped us. he will again. sometimes, most of the time, i doubt it.Tziporah
Tziporah
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
Avatar for nawleansdarlin
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-1999
Mon, 03-14-2011 - 8:10am

Hi Tziporah,

It is unfortunate that we are reduced to being ambassadors for what others can see of us.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Mon, 03-14-2011 - 9:48am

Not even when I saw The Sound of Music for the first time, lol. It just was never something I saw myself doing. LOL

We did have a couple of nicer nuns, but the ones I remember most were the mean ones.... the one who suffocated an old and dieing hamster in front of a class because he was going to die anyway sticks out in my mind. I'm sure many of the kids I went to school with thought the principal was pretty mean too (she punished my cousin for kissing her boyfriend at school in 6th grade, lol) but she was always really nice to me..

Yes, must be nice to forget how old you are. ;)

We didn't have enough nuns to go around either, so we also had regular teachers...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Mon, 03-14-2011 - 9:54am
Tziporah, you're right about the religious thing... there are mean/nice people/pasters/nuns/etc in every religion.

As for your speech about Moses, it sounds wonderful. I'm sorry that people kept bringing it back to asking you questions personally. That had to be so frustrating. (((hug)))

Avatar for nawleansdarlin
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-1999
Tue, 03-15-2011 - 8:04am

There are three teachers in my life that stick out as being really wonderful teachers.

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