Belated Welcome, Shavtay2007

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Belated Welcome, Shavtay2007
1100
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 10:32am

Hi Tziporah,


I am so sorry that this is such a belated welcome to you. I've been absent from the board for nearly a month - so many things have been happening in my life that it was difficult to also come here. The good news is that life has somewhat calmed down (but I'm still crossing my fingers and my toes), which means that I'm back on iVillage.


I am so very happy to see you here, participating and sharing in our conversations! I hope that we'll get to know each other better in the coming weeks.


Welcome again!


(PS: I love the sound of your name!)


Please visit these other great message boards:
Cranio-Facial Abnormalities
In Vitro (IVF)



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Avatar for nawleansdarlin
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-1999
Tue, 03-22-2011 - 5:43pm

Hi Tziporah,

"i can't tell my mother and father what i feel. if i do mention the things that they say that hurt me, they deny it. like--i must be imagining it, it's all in my head, etc. Tziporah"

My mother denied it the first time I told her that she was being very negative and after I told her and she denied it, I started to point it out.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
Wed, 03-23-2011 - 1:56am
Hi Karen, This is going to be a quickie because I have a lot to do. Sounds like your mother and mine are a perfect match. Everything yours does mine does too. except--perhaps--for the disapproving face. of course i have never seen it--not able to--but i doubt that would be my mother's style. still: "it's all in your head"--that refrain I've heard quite often. after awhile, just decided not to point anything out anymore because that's the response i'd get. as for your mother and the disapproving face: have you tried this technique? nextime she puts on one of those faces, have her look at herself in a mirror. this technique actually comes from a life coach. a lot of people really have no idea what they look like until they look themselves in the face via a mirror. the alternative is recording a person when they start their "thing" and then play it back. you can't argue with evidence like that. as far as make-up, your mom is just like mine, as i already wrote. i'm also like you. just that i don't think of make-up as a mask. just an unnecessary bother. thanks for sharing this. it helps to know i'm not the only one with this kind of thing. Tziporah
Tziporah
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
Avatar for nawleansdarlin
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-1999
Wed, 03-23-2011 - 6:46am

Hi Tziporah,

I'm immune to my mother's dissapointing face now.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
Wed, 03-23-2011 - 7:02am
Hi Karen, I can understand both you and your mother's positions regarding the gypsies. I'm probably in between you and your mother when it comes to blindness--knowing there's a need to talk about it, that it's necessary, and just wanting to distance myself from it because of the painful childhood discrimination. i had a talk with this business coach who's trying to help me out. he suggested that instead of giving a technical "how-i-cook?" explanation, instead turn it into a coaching kind of question: "how do you think you would do it if you were in such a situation?" tonight I have an interview for an article in a Hebrew weekly magazine that has good circulation around Israel. The journalist saw the flier announcing the previous coaching talk I gave--the one I did a few weeks back. She's coming with a photographer. Well, great timing, you might say. Today the people showed up to start breaking the wall in the room which is going to be connected to the elevator door. Either nothing is going on, or everything is happening all at once. Have a headache. I've been really nervous and snappy since decreasing the meds. I'm afraid if I tell my psych.doc about it, she'll put me on more stuff and I really don't want that. Tziporah
Tziporah
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Wed, 03-23-2011 - 11:25am
"My mother has another thing she does. The face of disapproval. She doesn't have to say anything. She has a face for it."

Karen - I think ALL mom's have the face of disapproval. lol

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Wed, 03-23-2011 - 11:29am
shavtay2007 wrote:
Either nothing is going on, or everything is happening all at once. Have a headache.

Isn't that always the way?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
Thu, 03-24-2011 - 4:21am
Hi Amy, You got it right--both things: your comment to Karen about mother's faces and about headaches when there's pressure. Yesterday I got quite nervous. The elevator people were supposed to start work at 7am--normal for this part of the world. Here people get up early and start work between 7--8am and are finished by 3-4pm. partly due to the heat in the summer months, but also because a lot of places take a 1-4pm break--the Mediterrean siesta and then re-open from 4-7pm. of course there are some businesses, especially in places like Tel Aviv that work the Western 9-5//8-4 shift. but in construction companies, it's typical to start at 7am and go straight through a long day. So, there was no sign of them. plus, it was raining enough so that i thought they wouldn't show up at all, using the rain as their excuse. we then heard they were going to come between 9-10am. late, but still acceptable, considering they were supposed to have come on Monday. well, that time came and went. i got more and more nervous as 9:00 became 9:15' 9:30, 9:45, 10:00. i had another bolistic attack. well, they did show up--at 10:45. but that's not why i'm writing this. i'm writing this because this morning Shabtai again brought up the fact that money's tight. so i said' "if that's the case, i'll stop therapy." he said, "no way after that nervous fit you had yesterday." i guess i'll write the psych.doc about it and talk to my t. about it. anyway, i said, "what can my therapist do about it?" but i see i really need to talk to him about it. i still don't want to talk to the psych.doc about it, but i will. i'm afraid she's going to start messing up my meds again and i really don't want that. to me, it feels like these meds are the "legal" side of drugs. like--you can take the illegal ones to regulate your mood, or you can take the legal ones--the meds--to regulate it. i know the counterargument: the brain is like any other organ in the body and sometimes meds are needed to regulate the brain, just like meds are needed to regulate other organs. but it still feels different somehow. what do you ladies think? there was another bus bombing in Jerusalem yesterday. ijust found out that one of the injured was a seminary girl. it happened at a main bus depo. i'm sure this isn't going to increase my or my husband's feelings of security about taking busses. everyone is just hoping it's not an upsurge in violence around here. things have not been good here in that department--a lot of major cities in the southern part of the country getting missile attacks. i'm not talking about outlying settlements in the middle of nowhere, but concentrated city areas. i'm mentioning it because if my coaching takes off here, which i hope it will, and i have to travel, and there's that violence... as far as the newspaper interview went, it was quite good. very in-depth: about 2 hours. there was a journalist and a photographer. they came to the appartment and photographed my husband and me together , plus photos of me alone in my office and the living room. i tried to stress that blindness is one of many characteristics and that my life has had many challenges in it--my husband's illness, for example, and not just the blindness thing. i tried to show how these experiences shape my coaching. afterwards, i wrote a summary of it to this coach who is advising me and he said it sounded okay. only thing is: the journalist says it's not the paper's policy to allow people to see articles before they go to press. that makes me a little nervous, because it's very easy to get the details and the slant--the just if what you want to say--wrong. Tziporah
Tziporah
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Thu, 03-24-2011 - 9:48am
Tziporah, I hope the elevator construction men were able to give a good reason for their late arrival, or are they just working on a different schedule than you expected?

I think money is tight for everyone, everywhere, these days. It seems like I and everyone I know are constantly making cutbacks wherever we can. Hopefully your consulting business will take off soon and it won't be so much of an issue. I'm really glad the interview went well and I'm excited for the final outcome for you. :)

As for your safety while traveling.... maybe a little fatalistic thinking on my part, but if it's not your time to go, then I believe travel by bus, taxi or whatever won't be an issue. I know it's sometimes hard to trust in G-d in these matters, but maybe the reminder will help. ;)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
Thu, 03-24-2011 - 1:41pm
Hi Amy, elevator schedule--call it "Israeli time." when we were in the U.S., we needed a repairman and I told Shabtai they'd show up at the time they were expected. Shabtai said, "oh, you're saying that because you're American." well, they did come on time. after that, Shabtai said, "if they would imitate that kind of work ethic here in Israel, the country would be very different."--positively so. I don't know how it is now, but that's the way it was twenty years ago when this incident occurred. as for safety on the busses, today I got an email from someone who said one of the injured people was a girl from a seminary--the kind of girls i used to have for Sabbath. so, that didn't exactly boost my confidence. it could have been me--it was that kind of central locale. as for money--you're right. eeryone is pulling back, which is why getting my business up and running is even harder than usual. what else? just before therapy, i went into the office to put on the heater and call the t. up. suddenly,m there was a blow-out, sounded like a baloon when it bursts. all the power went off. i couldn't find the fuse connection and of course went bolistic. again. two of Shabtai's friends came up, after twenty minutes of trying to locate someone who could help. the first guy couldn't figure it out because everything looked normal from the electric connections. the second guy, who knows more about electric stuff, opened the box and found that a wire had come lose. he put the wire back in place and the power was restored. this little "event" took about 45 minutes, so my therapy was a washout. Shabtai said to call him and at least explain what happened. i tried calling and got his voicemail. now, while writing this, he called back and said he can reschedule me. so in about 35 minutes i have a session. nails all bitten up. a mess. i don't know what it is. maybe the meds. still haven't contacted the doc. Tziporah
Tziporah
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Thu, 03-24-2011 - 2:00pm
Oh no! I'm glad they finally figured out that it was a wire and got that fixed. I'm sure your T will understand though, some things just can't be helped. I hope your session goes well.

You'd better contact the doc, she can help you or explain what is going on with regard to the meds.

I hope the seminary girl will be alright and that she wasn't too badly injured. Those things must be very frightening and knowing that you have no control over things like that. (((hug)))

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