Belated Welcome, Shavtay2007

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Belated Welcome, Shavtay2007
1100
Tue, 03-20-2007 - 10:32am

Hi Tziporah,


I am so sorry that this is such a belated welcome to you. I've been absent from the board for nearly a month - so many things have been happening in my life that it was difficult to also come here. The good news is that life has somewhat calmed down (but I'm still crossing my fingers and my toes), which means that I'm back on iVillage.


I am so very happy to see you here, participating and sharing in our conversations! I hope that we'll get to know each other better in the coming weeks.


Welcome again!


(PS: I love the sound of your name!)


Please visit these other great message boards:
Cranio-Facial Abnormalities
In Vitro (IVF)



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Avatar for nawleansdarlin
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-1999
Thu, 03-24-2011 - 4:56pm

Hi Tziporah,

I can't even imagine how scared I would be if I lived in a place where people blew up busses.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
Thu, 03-24-2011 - 11:58pm
Hi Amy/Karen, It's early morning now. things are always better in the morning. Karen--do you have the internet back at home yet? hope you do. Dying in an explosion is no fun--but probably those who do never have the chance to feel the pain because the death is instantaneous. well, writing this, perhaps it's not. nobody's ever come back to tell us. i think being injured in a bomb and surviving it is much worse. in the meantime, i'm just not talking about it with Shabtai. right now it's not relevant because there is really nowhere i have to go. Amy--you're right about needing to trust G-d. i'm great at teahing spiritual things, much more challenging at practicing what i preach. lol. as far as how long it takes to build something--i suspect most of the European countries take their sweet time about most things. look at how long it took NATO to agree on how to deal with Libya. if they had done what they're doing now three weeks earlier, it would have been so much easier--they had such an open field then. now thyu're facing a much more difficult task because the government forces had a lot of time to reclaim rebel positions and entrench themselves. i was talking to a technician who was here on Wednesday. he said it took him 2 years to get the addition of one room to his house approved and built. another friend of ours said it took him 3 years to get his house approved and built. so, i guess that is the norm. after i wrote you all, i had therapy. i told him about my being out of control and about my feelings about taking the meds. as far as being out of ontrol goes, he said it could be a side-effect of not having enough meds. recall that i went down from mg20 to mg10 of paxxil. he said to give it another week and then if there wasn't any improvement, contact the doc. i figure: if it was really critical, he would have said to do so right away. he's not the kind of therapist who avoids medical intervention. . he said i had to try to figure out what my thoughts are at the moment of my going bolistic. i told him that it happens so fast i don't even know what i'm thinking. one minute--one second, it's okay and the next second, i'm exploding. he stuck to his cognitive line of thinking and said that there are thoughts and i have to try to get into them--find out what they are. Karen--you're right about the one-minute breathing and the what-is-the-worst-that-could-happen strategies. thing is, though, when you really need them, you forget. the worst that would have happened in all these situations is that there would have been a delay but that eventually each problem would be fixed. he said it is true that both elicit and legal drugs control mood, except that the meds are very targetted. he also said to share my feelings about the meds with the psych.doc. i don't because i'm sure she'll just give me the standard party line--they're not the same thing. which, btw, is what my t. also did. this week i was much better about doing the exercise routine. i told him i had also made an appointment to see a dietician. he asked if my exercising had anything to do with it. i told him it was a combination of factors: the realization that my parents will be coming again and i don't want to go through being criticized for being fat again, having to face my own failure at not having succeeded yet again, (next time it will be better--i'll be thinner), the nauseated feeling i had at looking at all those Purim goodies, and probably--yes, beginning to feel better about my body. i haven't had any backpain since exercising regularly. and, as he also said, realizing that i can be disciplined. it's funny, because in high school i actually was very disciplined about a lot of things. as a musician you have to be disciplined. i was in a lot of choirs then--regional, all-state, at music camp, and school. the really good conductors were those music teachers who were tough and demanding--very disciplined. ditto for those teachers who gave private lessons. without daily practice, you can't get anywhere. i also saw that the top phys-ed teachers were also very disciplined. in high school we had one gym teacher who was a dancer. she was extremely disciplined. i admired her a lot. back then i was doing yoga daily. very disciplined as well. then, when i entered seminary and left music behind, the discipline unraveled. so, when i told my t. this, he said: "it is true that right now you are not disciplined about a lot of things. but this exercise routine is one thing, a step, that shows you can be disciplined. and it was this realization, that you can be disciplined, and that you enjoy feeling good about your body, that allowed you to make the independent decision about contacting a dietician. one thing leads to another." i couldn't disagree with that. late in the evening, we had another power blow-out. this time, Shabtai was there when it happened. that kept me from going off the handle. they'll have to do some rewiring with the electricity in the office. that's whee these mishaps occurred. just so much electrical stuff here--it's on overload. fingers not in great shape at all--especially my left hand. Tziporah
Tziporah
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Fri, 03-25-2011 - 12:04pm
Tziporah, why is it that practicing what we preach is always harder than just saying it? lol It's not an easy thing, that's for certain!

You're right, if it was critical, your therapist would have had you contact the doctor right away, rather than saying wait another week and see how you adjust. Interesting thoughts he has about discipline and you know I totally see his point. And, if the exercise is helping to reduce/eliminate your back pain, then it's a good thing to be disciplined about. I, myself, need to do so as well. So maybe we can do that together.

Avatar for nawleansdarlin
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-1999
Mon, 03-28-2011 - 7:30am

Hello Tziporah,

It is very early morning where I am.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Wed, 03-30-2011 - 9:19am
Oh Tziporah.... I know you're busy with the elevator stuff, but it's been almost a week since we've heard from you and we miss you!

Avatar for nawleansdarlin
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-1999
Thu, 03-31-2011 - 3:14pm

Tziporah,

Getting a little worried about you now.

Karen

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
Thu, 03-31-2011 - 4:51pm
Hi Everyone, A busy, stressful, but productive week. I'll try to write more tomorrow. Just know, while I'm writing this, I'm chewing on some skin from my cuticles---which have gotten bad again. A lot of stress here for me right now. Money stress. Tziporah
Tziporah
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com
Avatar for nawleansdarlin
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-1999
Thu, 03-31-2011 - 11:34pm

Hi Tziporah,

I'm glad you checked in.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Mon, 04-04-2011 - 9:24am
(((Tziporah))) I'm sorry you're feeling the stress this past week, but be nice to yourself. Take it easy on your fingers and don't beat yourself up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-12-2007
Tue, 04-05-2011 - 4:08pm
Hi Everybody, Last few days have been extremely stressful. A tooth on the bottom of my mouth has been problematic for quite awhile, but it was bearable. then last Sunday part of the filling came off. at first i thought I could get away with it until after Passover. finally, the pain was bad enough that i decided it couldn't wait. i went to the dentist last Thursday and got the news--root canal. i had my first isit then and another one yesterday. the second treatment wasn't painful while he was doing it, but since then--wow! and i got another one next week. a couple of hundred dollars just to get the thing fixed p BEFORE the next stage--i need crowns for two adjoining teeth. very expensive and you all know money's tight. very tight. plus, Shabtai decided to try upgrading to windows 7--something I was very much against--and he convinced the technician to do both computers on Sunday. the whole thing was just incredibly difficult and we had some nasty fights about it. finally, the technician undid everything and i begged Shabtai and the technician not to even suggest this again. the only change that remains is the microsoft word 2010. the tech guy showed me how to do the things i had had problems with last time around. besides that, everything is back to XP and I plan on leaving it that way for a very long time. i just was totally out of control. to be fair, the pain in my mouth might have contributed to it, but that isn't any excuse. i really "hated" Shabtai. i had those kinds of thoughts. today he went for a trip with his study group and was out of the house from early morning until tonight. i think that was good for both of us. the elevator work is continuing, plus Passover cleaning. so there is a lot going on. tonight i had this haircutting spree. they are less frequent, but still occur. it felt so good just to cut it off. fingers are so-so. exercise routine: sometimes yes, sometimes no. one good things--i went to synagogue Sabbath morning for the third week in a row. i just don't know what to do about the level of anger--the last three days it was super high. but then, there were triggers. still, i just wasn't myself and was nasty to everybody. everybody must think i'm a ... right now things are calm and quiet. and except for this ongoing pain, i'm okay. managing. Shabtasi is very patient and loving. i don't know how he stands me, but he does. Tziporah
Tziporah
web: www.istillhavemylife.com
blog: tziporahwishky.livejournal.com

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