Feeling like a loose cannon...(m)--trigs
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|Fri, 03-28-2003 - 5:57pm|
I am having a really difficult time today. I was gone for the last 5 days or so on vacation. I came home last nite and today went to work for a bit (grading papers & doing report cards). Well, the first thing that threw me off was that all the lights are off, which have been off on weekends to conserve electricity and money. Today, though, it really freaked me out. I felt very panicky, teary, nauseous. I didn't feel safe, yet a part of me does feel safe there. It was overwhelming. I did stay b/c once i got to my classroom, I turned on the lights, of course. While I was at school today, I felt like any little thing that happened (conversations with people, reading an e-mail, etc) sent me reeling. I would feel like I could cry. That alone was frustrating. So, I came home this afternoon & have been trying to calm myself down. Then I spoke with my stepmother--she and my dad are divorcing and they had a hearing today to get a temporary agreement made about money & my sister (who is 17). I am having thoughts that are not welcome and it's scary (F.Y.I. I'm not suicidal...just didn't want to freak anyone out). My T is gone for the weekend, so I can't call her. I know I can call hotlines and such, but that just doesn't feel right either. So, I decided to post. Maybe just writing it will help me release some of the confusing feelings I'm feeling.
Thanks for reading, Stacy